Too Fat To Look Good?

My photo
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
March 25, 2016 4:03pm CST
Sitting round the dance floor of the hotel last night, I heard a woman chatting to her companions. She actually said "I'm too fat to look good". I looked round and there she was - a tent for a dress, flip flops and greasy unkempt hair. This wasn't the beach for goodness sake, it was an after dinner show. Being overweight doesn't mean that you can't look good. I've seen really heavy people looking as smart as paint! Lots of us weigh more than we should, but that's no excuse to be slovenly in public. I'm as guilty as anyone of just slopping around at home, but when we go out we should at least make an effort. The woman I'm talking about here had a pleasant face, and I'm sure she could have looked really nice if she'd smartened herself up a bit instead of having this defeatist attitude. I hope you don't think I'm being unkind here, but I was quite shocked that anyone would think that they were too heavy to look good. ------------------------------ Photo of me trying to use up a few calories on the exercise equipment on the beach in Spain.
67 people like this
76 responses
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
25 Mar 16
Same here.I have seen many big women looking good.They should not feel uncomfortable by their weight. Then like you said.Seen some very sloppy one.Meaning that they do not give a damn what they look like. What kind of exercise are those there ?
7 people like this
@mimiang (3760)
• Philippines
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK we have that kind of exerciser in the university where I graduated
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@amadeo Yes, big women can look really good if they take a bit of trouble. The exercise equipment is the walking one (the one I'm on in the photo), then there's one that swings your legs from side to side, and another that swings your arms round. All gentle stuff really.
3 people like this
@SHOHANA (16093)
• Bangladesh
26 Mar 16
agree with you
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 16
wait a sec, they've got fitness equipment there'n the beach?? mercy, i need to get out more, lol. 's fer that gal, she no doubt suffers from poor self-esteem. i'm prone to holy shirts/jeans 'round here, but when we used to go out, i'd dress to the nine, lol. not fer myself, but the hubs. sounds like this gal needed a good scrubbin' 'n some proper fittin' clothin'. i know many who're 'heavy' 'n look simply divine when they go out'n public. some'f that's got to do with self-confidence i'm thinkin'.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@crazyhorseladycx I agree, self-confidence is half the battle, and she's not going to get any of that with her attitude. Yup - they've got fitness gear on the beach!
5 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 16
@sueznewz2 I hope she does, but I don't suppose I'll ever see her again, so I won't know.
2 people like this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
28 Mar 16
@jaboUK yepp I agree with you both.... I hope she has a change of attitude and finds some confidence soon...
3 people like this
@marlina (154131)
• Canada
25 Mar 16
She would need a friend to boost her self esteem.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@marlina You're right - I wonder if those close to her have made her feel like she does, instead of bolstering her up.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (13153)
• Ireland
25 Mar 16
@jabouk making a bit of an effort usually gives people a bit of self esteem so long as they realise they'll never be Sophia Loren, and they don't need to look like her. Some people just give up too easily and need to give themselves a good talking to.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@xFiacre You've hit the nail on the head - the very act of trying to make herself look good should help her self esteem. As you say, we can't all look like film stars, but we should just make the best of what looks we have.
3 people like this
@lilnana1111 (2305)
• United States
26 Mar 16
It's sad that she feels that way.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@lilnana1111 Yes it is sad - she might surprise herself if she made an effort.
1 person likes this
@paigea (36315)
• Canada
26 Mar 16
Yes there are very nice clothes for extra large people.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@paigea That's true, there are some great clothes in the bigger sizes.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Mar 16
Size shouldn't matter at all, I do agree with you. It seems that this woman has let herself believe that no matter what she does, because of her size, she won't look good. She may have given up on herself. Sad really.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@ElusiveButterfly Yes, it really did sound as if she'd given up on herself - sad.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Mar 16
It is much better today than it used to be to find clothes that look good on heavier people. My sister was over-weight much of her life, and she found it very difficult to find nice clothes that were attractive on her. The problem was not her, though, it was the people making the clothes and the stores selling them. She could find pretty clothes that fit her well and looked beautiful at the high-end stores tailored for larger women, but she could not afford to buy them. Many of the clothes at the regular stores did not even look good on the hangers let alone once you actually put them on, but they were relatively affordable and you do what you can with what you have. Fortunately, nowadays there is a wider variety of clothes for larger people, even at the regular retail stores. This makes it easier for people to afford to look nice. However, if she was used to the "old way", then she might have just given up on trying to look nice. Yes, this might be a defeatist attitude, but then again there are only so many times you can look in the mirror at clothes that are extremely unflattering on you before you tend to want to avoid the humiliation and just go with whatever is comfortable.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK Yeah, that is more difficult to explain. I do know some people that look like they have greasy hair, even after they have freshly washed it, because their hair is so fine it looks rather greasy and stringy. Their hair does not look unkempt, though, which would more indicate that it was lack of effort rather than a natural phenomenon.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster Thanks for explanation and I can see how difficult it is to look good if overweight people can't find any affordable clothes. But that doesn't excuse the woman I'm talking about for not even washing her hair.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster I like you, you are kind - looking for the best in everyone.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137770)
• India
26 Mar 16
You are living in the lap of luxury with fitness equipment all laid up for you and that too on a beach. I truly believe in dressing up even at home. I am ready even to step out if the need arises and to welcome unexpected visitors. No. There is no make up though.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Mar 16
I am glad to see someone mentioning that they do not wear make-up and it is not necessary to look good. If a person likes to wear make-up and are more comfortable doing so, then that is perfectly fine. I really dislike it when people say that women should wear make-up, though, because that is saying that they are not good enough just as they are, which is wrong, in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@allknowing Yes, it's good to have the fitness equipment on the beach. Good for you to be ready for unexpected visitors at any time.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster I agree with you - I do put a bit of make-up on when I go out, but never at home.
1 person likes this
@Teep11 (7673)
• United States
25 Mar 16
Those aren't good thoughts. We should feel good about ourselves and it doesn't matter how much we weigh. When one is confident. They're just confident big or small. Have a wonderful day.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@Teep11 You are right - confidence doesn't rely on size. She needs some of that positive attitude you so rightly encourage. It's a pity she hasn't got someone like you to motivate her.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
25 Mar 16
@jaboUK First we must love ourselves and have a good opinion about us.And all the rest will follow..Well,I do not much care for my appearance at home.But when I go out I try not to look shabby.
2 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK I can never imagine you looking shabby.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@silvermist If we are self-confident it can make such a difference. i do the same as you and hope I don't look too shabby
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
26 Mar 16
My sister, who weighs 240 and is 5'7" would never dream of leaving the house without make-up on, hair fixed and nice clothes @jaboUK . And that's just to walk to the mailbox. When her kidney ruptured and she was waiting for the ambulance, she took a shower, applied make-up and was deciding what to wear.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@nanette64 She sounds like a real character.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@nanette64 Good for your sister Nanette. She is obviously making the best of herself - I had to smile at what you said she did when her kidney ruptured!
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK When the ambulance got there, she kept telling them to hold on. Good thing they don't charge by the minute. lol.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
26 Mar 16
I agree! It's a shame to see anyone let themselves go, no matter what the reason. I've seen many heavyset women look clean, well dressed, and put together with a touch of makeup and flattering hairstyle. No excuse in my book.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@DianneN I knew I could count on you to agree Dianne .
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@DianneN I should think you are the smrtest person on this site
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK Why? Lol!
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
25 Mar 16
Sounds like she might need a boost of self esteem, from someone or something.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@teamfreak16 You are right there, her negative attitude will just pull her down.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112969)
• El Paso, Texas
26 Mar 16
Nice "gym" for sure no one would get hurt if the fell in the sand. You don't look very heavy to me.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (112969)
• El Paso, Texas
26 Mar 16
Me too @jaboUK perhaps that's the way nature intended it. If we didn't have so many of those goathead stickers I'd put something like that in my yard.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@rebelann It would be great to have in my garden too.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@rebelann I carry too much around my middle, but it doesn't worry me. Yes if I fell off that equipment I wouldn't hurt myself that's for sure.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51588)
• Canada
26 Mar 16
It sounds like she has really low self esteem to make such a comment. I love those outdoor exercise machines, we have them in the parks up here.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51588)
• Canada
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK The past 6 or 8 years they have been putting them in the neighbourhood parks, they usually have 8 or 10 different pieces of equipment, and people of various ages meet at certain times to exercise together. I think that its great.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@Juliaacv It does sound a good idea - I'd definitely use the equipment if they had some near where I live.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@Juliaacv Yes, that's what I thought - she had no pride in herself at all. You have the same sort of exercise equipment in Canada? I'd not seen them until I came to Spain.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 16
I sure wouldn't say anything like that out loud about myself! Most of the people in this state are overweight, I think we're the second fattest state in the union and a lot of them look like the woman you described.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK You are kidding right LOL!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@AbbyGreenhill Nope - not kidding! Americans always seem to me to be supremely self-confident.
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@AbbyGreenhill Well I bet most of the people in your state wouldn't have this woman's defeatist attitude. (You Americans are not known for that, are you? Lol)
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220245)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Mar 16
I agree. I know some plump people who are quite attractive, and some skinny ones who are not. It's all in the presentation. One need not overdo it (I mostly wear jeans and t-shirts), but one should look confident and like they care a bit about presentation.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@TheHorse You're right - I'm not suggesting that everyone should dress to the nines every time they go out, just that they should be presentable. If they obviously don't care for themselves, then other people won't either.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@TheHorse I think the keyword in your comment is 'confident'. It was this woman's defeatist attitude that shocked me far more than her appearance.
@TheHorse (220245)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK Yes! Interestingly, I've known some people in Berkeley CA (land of rebellion) who look like absolute slobs but are brilliant. If someone is smart, articulate, and confident I'm likely to engage with them, even if they don't take good care of themselves (unless they smell bad, that is).
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
25 Mar 16
Sometimes thier confidence can make them feel...not good. I have hone bigger but istill look good (our mother assured me that,lol)
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@Lucky15 Perhaps she didn't have such a supportive mother as you had
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@Lucky15 That's not what I meant. i meant that your mother gave you a positive view of yourself.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (37374)
• Philippines
25 Mar 16
@jaboUK i know how mothers can be patronzing
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
There is no excuse for anyone going out looking worse for wear,especially when on vacation.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
16 Apr 16
@miniam That is exactly right - weight should be no hindrance to smartening yourself up. Thank you for coming back to read this.
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
16 Apr 16
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
16 Apr 16
@jaboUK I dont even know how i got here,it was posted almost before i joined myLot
1 person likes this