I Nearly Suffocated Today!

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

Oh, I knew I could count on you for my personal safety!

7 people like this

@DaddyEvil (137526)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed Of course you can, Russ! Just don't forget to add me onto your life insurance policy! After all, I am not even asking you to pay me to protect you from things like that happening!

6 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@DaddyEvil Okay, but that will cost you 5 emoji devils and 2 white flags.

6 people like this

Janet Hunt

@jahunt (1380)

• United States

12 Apr 16

Bahaha!! Yes, of course that must have been it!

7 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

I knew it! Gosh, I am smart, and so are you. They set me up to go bungee jumping tomorrow, wish me luck!

4 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@jahunt They doubled it again the loving souls, I am so lucky!

3 people like this

Janet Hunt

@jahunt (1380)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed Haha! Good luck and make sure you paid that insurance premium!

5 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

Now that you have told us how much your family would get if you are gone, you are certainly on my hit list.

6 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

@thesids

3 people like this

theSids

@thesids (22180)

• Bhubaneswar, India

12 Apr 16

... and that also means, I have to find some other response to the discussion... darn

2 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

HAHA! I LOL'd for real! I had better watch my MyLot step!

4 people like this

weird_oh_me

@LdeL0318 (6400)

• Philippines

12 Apr 16

You're really lucky. Good thing you were able to wake up. Be much careful next time.

5 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

I am really a dog, a dog that can type. Woof woof!

5 people like this

weird_oh_me

@LdeL0318 (6400)

• Philippines

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed Hahah.

3 people like this

Babygirlrae

@carebear29 (31970)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

12 Apr 16

Cute pillow. We had one and finally got rid of it

5 people like this

Babygirlrae

@carebear29 (31970)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed lol

5 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

I just put a lit stick of dynamite in that pillow.

5 people like this

angel_smiles

@Lolaze (5093)

• St. Louis, Missouri

12 Apr 16

Are you sure you only want $5 million in life insurance? Why not $10 million? Also, that light switch in the garage needs replacing...don't worry, I made sure the electricity is off. ;)

4 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

13 Apr 16

@RussTeed ... That explains a lot of things.

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

Haha! No worries, I have been hit with 480 volts before and I survived.

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

13 Apr 16

@vandana7 LOL LOL, My friend, you understand not only English better than most Americans, but you read into more... OMG I lost yb train of thought... Hi!

3 people like this

Rosekitty

@Rosekitty (19368)

• San Marcos, Texas

28 Apr 16

hahah now that was a fumy story/nightmare..I hope you have no enemies but see @DaddyEvil will protect you..hahah

2 people like this

@DaddyEvil (137526)

• United States

1 May 16

Yes, Rose, I told him I would! *DE nods his head so fast it is in danger of coming unglued and falling off!* As long as he adds me to his insurance policy, first!

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (137526)

• United States

3 May 16

@RussTeed Oh, really? Who? *DE starts looking around to see who is trying to poach... Uhhh... horn in on.... Uhm... trying to hurt that sweet guy, Russ, to get his meager amount of insurance!*

1 person likes this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

2 May 16

@DaddyEvil Everyone is after my cash, smh... Love it!

1 person likes this

Oshy

@TiarasOceanView (70022)

• United States

12 Apr 16

You are blessed RussTeed..

3 people like this

Oshy

@TiarasOceanView (70022)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed Funny stuff my friend..

That thing looks like neighbors lolz

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@TiarasOceanView Yes, he lives next door at the taxidermy. He is such a pain...

2 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

Aww, I know it. I'm glad I shared my family's incessant adoration for me with you.

3 people like this

DW Davis

@DWDavis (25805)

• United States

13 Apr 16

Life insurance is the strangest kind of gambling. In order to win the prize you have to die. I think your family was trying to make you feel like a winner.

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

13 Apr 16

Probably, but they would be the fortuitous party in this scenario, LOL.

4 people like this

Jo Ann

@akalinus (43334)

• United States

12 Apr 16

I am fascinated by the fact that you wear Garanimals!

4 people like this

Jo Ann

@akalinus (43334)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed Why, thank you.

4 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

AHAHAA! I LOL'd for real when I read your comment. Classic!

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@akalinus There needs to be more humor in this world, and you contributed today.

3 people like this

Judy Evans

@JudyEv (341893)

• Rockingham, Australia

12 Apr 16

May you always think the best of people.

4 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

Or others are incapable of planning perfect murder?

3 people like this

cassandra

@Castlerock34 (2259)

• Minneapolis, Minnesota

12 Apr 16

Oh my, that is terrifying. I wonder how all that ended up on you

4 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

LOL, because I am a rascal and cause trouble all the time.

4 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

@RussTeed ... Why do I feel the need to endorse that..

3 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

@vandana7 Ahh, you know me too well, my friend

3 people like this

Reine25

@Lucky15 (37374)

• Philippines

12 Apr 16

Hahaha..that insurance

3 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

That is what got me too...how naive can a person get..

3 people like this

Reine25

@Lucky15 (37374)

• Philippines

12 Apr 16

@vandana7 poor man, hahaha

4 people like this

fishtiger58

@fishtiger58 (29820)

• Momence, Illinois

12 Apr 16

Rough night aye??

3 people like this

dpk262006

@dpk262006 (58678)

• Delhi, India

12 Apr 16

Was it a dream or someone was trying to really kill you?

2 people like this

dpk262006

@dpk262006 (58678)

• Delhi, India

13 Apr 16

@RussTeed So you love to play pranks.

1 person likes this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

I was just joking, I have a lot of fun here.

2 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

13 Apr 16

@dpk262006 Yes, I am an incorrigible rascal.

anthony davis

@lookatdesktop (27134)

• Dallas, Texas

13 Apr 16

Your humor is witty to say the least. Dateline would have a field day with this story.

2 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

13 Apr 16

Haha! Brian Williams would do this story justice.

2 people like this

Erly Maglangit

@cacay1 (83577)

• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines

12 Apr 16

Horrible, you are lucky and be thankful to your guardian angel for keeping you always in safety in sleep and in your waking moment.

2 people like this

@vandana7 (100558)

• India

12 Apr 16

Yeah... I am that guard i an angel... I am waiting for him to make that 5 million into fifty million then I will quit my job.

2 people like this

Nanette Piotrowski

@nanette64 (20364)

• Fairfield, Texas

12 Apr 16

Oh lordy @RussTeed . Did you mention to the family that the $5 mill was being left to me?

2 people like this

Nanette Piotrowski

@nanette64 (20364)

• Fairfield, Texas

13 Apr 16

@RussTeed Who, me???

2 people like this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

12 Apr 16

Well I... you've been talking to them? You are in cahoots aren't you!

2 people like this

Claudia Kirkland

@CRK109 (14556)

• United States

5 May 16

LOL! The joy of you being alive far outweighs the sadness of almost losing you, I'm sure! :)

2 people like this

Claudia Kirkland

@CRK109 (14556)

• United States

6 May 16

@RussTeed and that's the sign of a good writer! :)

1 person likes this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

7 May 16

@CRK109 I do try to make it sound plausible, but most know I am kidding.

1 person likes this

@RussTeed (1498)

• United States

6 May 16

Haha! Some folks take me seriously here. SMH...

2 people like this

@Daljinder (23236)

• Bangalore, India

12 Apr 16

Obviously it didn't work out since you are here telling the tale.

2 people like this