My frustration with my husband

I had given up on giving relationship advice on here Must admit my first thought reading this is thank f I'm single But I'd say re-evaluate your situation after you've moved as moving is a stressful enough time on its own.

i dunno where yer movin' to, hon, but i'd not stick 'round to find out if' schtuff got better. 's my mamaw always told me, a leopard ne'er changes its spots. find a woman's shelter 'n get yerself'n that precious young'un outta there, please.

Moving won't help anything and it sounds like the two of you need to go to counseling.

I'm afraid I'd be out of there ASAP.

@carebear29 That sounds pretty grim. A move might lighten things for a while but it doesnt sound like it'll cure anything. Don't know what to tell you.

Thats a serious situation. Maybe you should be a bit more stern in your approach towards him so that he would stop taking advantage of you all the time.

wow he looks like one very stubborn,u pset man. Seems to me you have given him a lot of opportunities to stay and hes not helped you much marriage counselor maybe would he go for that? You cannot just keep on feeling like you do something has to get better or you need to splt up I just do not know what to say I had a long happy marriage and am now widowed

I hope you feel better now after venting it out. I cannot advice you what to do with him because I don't think I am at the right position to. I am just hoping for the best to happen,

Most of us here on mylot has vent our frustrations too. It's good that we have this sight to express what we couldn't at home. Sometimes we just vent here because we want somebody to listen to us, but we don't really want their opinion on how to run our lives. Hope you'll find a way to make things cool at home. Take care.

I don't know what to say. It's so hard for you really. I guess, at this time he is irritable because of his situation and maybe he is insecure too.

My husband and I separated and I made him WORK to get me back because while we were together he acted like he owned me. I got sick of it and left with our kids. We were apart for 6 months also and he had to prove to me he was different before I went back to him. He wrote apology letters to me and my parents-telling them everything he did wrong in the relationship and what he would do differently if I chose to go back. Let me tell you he finally changed because he really wanted his family back. If their willing to fight for you in that way you know they really love you. Until you stand up for yourself, he is not going to change his ways because he doesn't have to right now. Your making things too easy for him. Trust me I know from experience.

Do you have a local support group to go to? A women's shelter would have good referrals to help for you.

If a marriage is going to work, both parties need to be working together. I suggest counselling for both of you.

I honestly do not think moving will change anything. I am trying my best to say something positive because I don't want you to get upset. But it's hard. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years. Was mostly emotional abuse but that still doesn't take away the few slaps and punches he did. He also accused me of cheating even when there was literally no proof. I can tell you now, I am not a cheater and as unhappy as I was, I still would never do it because I am quite convinced that he would kill me for it. In fact, he made a point in saying he would do that if he ever caught me. BUT he still did slap and push me into his wall one night while he was accusing me of cheating while there was no proof. So he still hurt me regardless for no reason. Your husband is doing the same. I don't know you but if you are telling it exactly the way it is then he is a bully. He has issues. He needs help. My concern is more with you though because I know what it's like to be pushed around, bullied, dictated. I would do whatever I could for my then boyfriend but it was never good enough so then I would try and push myself to do something better thinking it would get his approval or make him stop treating me badly but it never worked. He may have been lovey dovey sometimes and I do really mean sometimes and we did have some good times but a relationship should be that all the time. Of course couples fight sometimes. All people fight anyway. Friends, best friends, neighbours, family, spouses, children. Still, a relationship should be a fun - loving time where you both have trust. Not to have the feeling of walking on eggshells, to be made to feel guilty or depressed. He was also a hoarder too and it annoyed me. Because guess who was the one to try and clean it up? Yep. Me. Of course we want to do nice things for people we love but how much longer can you handle it when he never appreciates you for it? You love him, I get that. But do you really want to do this for the rest of your life? Feeling this way. You've obviously not enjoyed feeling this way so far. Do what's best for you and your son. You have done your best with your husband. It may not have fixed him but that's NOT your fault. He has issues that can not just be fixed by him having you as his slave and doing everything for him. That's what he wants anyway. I can't believe I am going to do this but I am going quote something Dr. Phil said that made me think. "I'd rather be happy and healthy alone, then sick with someone else." You're not happy. He is the reason. You've done all you can. Now it's time to do things for you. But basically what I am trying to say is, he needs help. Maybe you both could sit with a marriage counselor or maybe he needs one for just him. Maybe a little separation during him getting help may help. If he wont even commit to doing that then I strongly suggest you leave. You've told him several times that you would leave and he still hasn't improved? Something needs to be done and so far, you doing everything for him, falling for his crap and warning him you'll leave has not worked. I really hope I didn't offend you. I'm actually typing this out in anger because I know the feeling. I wont say I know what you're going through because it's still a bit different but still, you're unhappy with someone you love yet still treats you like crap and accuses you of doing things you're not. It's not healthy for either of you. I really feel like I have so much more to say but I will leave it here.

Oh honey, that is terrible. I guess he wouldn't be receptive to couple's counseling? I don't know how you do it. He's lucky you haven't walked out for good. I'm so sorry.

Sorry to hear this. I hope that you make the right choice.

I hope things will improve, regardless of what you decide to do

I would take this opportunity for 'you' to just move @carebear29 . I think his T-shirt says it all and you don't need to put up with the garbage. Besides, I don't think things will change.

I think you had tried a lot to save your marriage, now if you are thinking you can it more then first go to some counselor with him and tried to solve your issues. If that not worked then I think you can got for separation.

I do think your husband loves you in his own way but he's just a little immature and needs more time to grow. If you can be patient, give him some time. Tell him your concerns and talk it out with him before packing your stuff and leaving. Sometimes, you can mend differences with the right communication channels. Don't give up yet. Love hurts but the choice to stay and fix it rests on you. Regards!