I Met A One-Eyed Woman Today

@RussTeed (1498)
United States
April 13, 2016 6:43pm CST
I caught a one-eyed woman undressing me with her eye today. I yelled "STOP" because I felt so cheap, so used. She said, "I'm not deaf, moron!" I'm pretty sure she had 20/ vision, but I had to see. I ripped off her patch and there was a spare set of keys where her eye once was, a "hide-a-key" of sorts. I thought, "what a terrific use of an otherwise unoccupied space." Now there, is a key'n eye. Photo by Pixabay: Public Domain, Free for commercial use. No attribution required.
8 people like this
8 responses
Janet Hunt
@jahunt (1380)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Maybe all pirates did this and we just never knew? Where do you come up with this stuff?? Lol! I can't even think of anything to say... and that's unusual!
4 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
14 Apr 16
I get wicked hammered and write notes to myself. Some of them are weird. No, it's true.
5 people like this
James Higgins
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
17 Apr 16
@RussTeed Not a bad idea.
1 person likes this
Janet Hunt
@jahunt (1380)
• United States
14 Apr 16
@RussTeed Okay, now that's believable! Lol!
2 people like this
Danna B.
@db20747 (43440)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
14 Apr 16
A key in the eye. How original. What a surprise. Never the less, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she thought you hot.
4 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Well... I may have enhanced the truth a bit, LOL.
2 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
14 Apr 16
Uhmmm wondering how you can tell the gender from an eye. Personally, I feel you should have tried an eye for an eye ...there could be some fire trapped between the two lenses.
3 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Haha! That is one (odd) way of looking at it!
2 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
15 Apr 16
@RussTeed ..You can only look one way from keyhole at any point of time..
2 people like this
theSids
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
14 Apr 16
Cyclops have both genders... never had an idea on that... but biologically...
3 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
14 Apr 16
Everything is possible biologically...though I have not seen anybody with eyes on legs.
1 person likes this
theSids
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
14 Apr 16
@vandana7 Maybe it was a tatoo... you never know what they get into these days
1 person likes this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
15 Apr 16
In my world @thesids anything is possible.
3 people like this
Jo Ann
@akalinus (43196)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Groan!
3 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
14 Apr 16
Sometimes I strive to be as droll, dry, and uproariously stupid as possible. I think I have grasped that synopsis here. LOL
4 people like this
Cynthia Owens
@cindiowens (5120)
• North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
15 Apr 16
She had 20/20 hearing....hearing? That is what you will be going to soon, lol.
3 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
15 Apr 16
Haha! You always have a unique view on my wacky stuff!
3 people like this
mommaj
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
17 Apr 16
She is very resourceful utilizing her space like that. So she was deaf? LOL
2 people like this
mommaj
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
17 Apr 16
@RussTeed Good thing you didn't whisper. She would never have heard you. LOL
1 person likes this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
17 Apr 16
Yes, she is deaf in one eye. LOL
1 person likes this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
18 Apr 16
@mommaj Yes, I would probably pick the wrong eye, or ear, to whisper in.
1 person likes this
DE
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
25 Apr 16
Yeah, she kept an eye out for them, didn't she? (That's better than the original joke!)
2 people like this
DE
@DaddyEvil (137259)
• United States
28 Apr 16
@RussTeed LOL! HEY! (shrugs!)
2 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
28 Apr 16
@DaddyEvil LOL, if you work hard and put your mind to it, it can happen for you.
2 people like this
RussTeed
@RussTeed (1498)
• United States
26 Apr 16
Good one! Soon you'll be just as stupid as me! LOL
2 people like this