This Woman's Love...

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I'm going to start this out by saying that some women never have to go through some of the trials and tribulations that I will be mentioning here. They are the lucky ones...the ones who just happen to fall in love with the perfect guy, who is not only strikingly handsome, but kind, funny and honorable to boot! No..this isn't about you lucky ones..this is my story. I am a 45 yr old african american single woman living in the western United States. I have four beautiful children most of whom are grown. I just ended a 13 yr relationship with the father of my youngest child. I chose to end the relationship due to his "extra-curricular activities" outside of our union. After so many years of mistreatment I finally decided that I loved ME more than I loved him and I could only save one. Love for me, in a romantic way, has been a long and rough journey. Most of that ride I do not regret..I received God's greatest blessings, my children. The rest have left me feeling empty, untrustworthy and to be honest..a little hostile. I don't know if its me, but love is NOT my friend!! I always seem to attract the kind of man who is damaged, broke and maybe in need of a second mommy, Lol! I was up for the challenge, I think because I'm a natural nurturer, I maybe was more inclined to want to mommy them in a way. It wasn't until just recently that I came to the realization that I don't want to do it anymore! I won't be catering to your needs before mine, cooking all your meals and washing your clothes, keeping all of your affairs in check while not really attending to mine. Not anymore..I was fed up. I am fed up! I think, no...I know that I deserve better and now its mandatory that I receive the Honor that I am due. If that means that I'm never in a relationship again...don't cry for me...Know that I am loving myself fabulous EVERY DAY!