Service Issues
By BobbyDem
@bwjsdems (496)
New Zealand
July 12, 2016 4:54am CST
I fear my current human servant may need to be dismissed. On a number of occasions lately, she has failed in her duties and she laughs when I issue her formal warnings.
On two weekends now, she has abandoned me - Ok us - and left us in the care of the senior female human. The senior fails to hear all my meows to be let in the front door, and my silent purr requesting more food in the evening. I’ve actually had to meow loudly to get attention. My bowl has only been filled with food on three occasions each day! This is totally unacceptable.
Even more serious, she closes her door at night so that I cannot plant myself on her chest and purr in her face while she adores me. However, the one bonus is that she has a lap suitable for a Maine Coon of my substance to curl up in of an evening.
One weekend, my human went to help a friend ALL DAY LONG!!! Something about moving a house? Anyway she abandoned me to the ministrations of the male human who refuses to put anything more than a soupcon of cat biscuits in my bowl each time I ask. What is wrong with a decent portion? I cannot pick out the ones I prefer and leave the remainder for the dog. Blue looks so pathetic when she is on an enforced diet.
There is a specific ratio of flavours which must be dispensed if I am to partake of the particular brands of cat biscuits being provided at the moment. They must be mixed precisely to 10 grain free beef and kangaroo biscuits to 25 Purina One Salmon and Tuna biscuits. 21 will not do.
To appease me, my human has been home every day since then. Strangely enough so are the small humans. I believe that she is seriously ashamed of her lax behaviour and is striving to please me again. I’m not sure what the ‘school holidays’ have to do with it? The down side is that she no longer arises early in the morning to feed me so I must send in Sylph to awaken her and act as decoy for the pillow bestowed on us from the male. Apparently Sylph’s bell is very annoying – I know it annoys me!
Anyway, it is time for my evening adoration so I shall have to continue my musings later. Perhaps it is time to visit the neighbours? - Morpheus
18 people like this
20 responses
@Hanyouyomi (2187)
• Dallas, Texas
30 Jul 16
Being fed three times a day? Is that breakfast, lunch and dinner for you Morpheus? Wish I could argue against your other complaints, but I can't.... Hope things are worked with your human.
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
13 Oct 16
@Hanyouyomi No I believe I just have a fast metabolism and just need food frequently - Morpheus
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
5 Aug 16
@Hanyouyomi It's only the equivalent of breakfast and a couple of snacks. How is a cat supposed to survive? - Morpheus
1 person likes this
@Hanyouyomi (2187)
• Dallas, Texas
5 Aug 16
@bwjsdems Huh, had no idea cats ate so much... So a fourth meal equals dinner then?
2 people like this
@darksinistar (42)
• United States
13 Jul 16
Poor, poor Morpheus! It is so hard to find good humans to help wth the adoration and proper worshipping of a feline.
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
14 Jul 16
@darksinistar It is indeed a cross that I must bear. I keep thinking that I have finished training and she slips back into bad habits.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
10 Aug 16
lol Yes it is hard to train humans to do exactly what you want from them they resist. Maybe a visit to the neighbors for a day will set them straight!!
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
16 Oct 16
@bwjsdems In my kitty experience, different food isn't an attraction, I tend to be a kitty who prefers only one food!!lol
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
13 Oct 16
@BelleStarr I visit my neighbours regularly so that my human realises her place.....also the neighbour has different cat food - Morpheus
1 person likes this
@LindaCPearson (2240)
• United States
12 Mar 17
Dearest Morpheus. It's Mildred the Cat. I feel your pain. Your situation certainly sounds difficult. I've experienced some similar situations here at home. I have to admit, as far as treats go, my mom is keeping up with what I expect and demand - three square meals a day plus mucho chicken, cheese, Temptations, Pounce and other assorted treats in-between. In other areas she is seriously lacking - way too much talking on the phone, going out for hours at a time, reading, using the laptop, etc. and she seems to forget I'm very close by and have needs. Morpheus, keep the faith. Hopefully things will improve.
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
13 Mar 17
@LindaCPearson Dearest Mildred, Your human sounds like a better shopper than mine. why at the moment we only have 8 different flavours of fancy feast, 3 of friskies tins, half a dozen VIP fussy cat and 3 or 4 Dine flavours. Absolutely nothing NEW and interesting. Yes there are some emergency cans of gourmet tuna, but even so! Mine leaves the house 3 days a week to do this work thing and then complains she is to busy to take my dictation. Apalling neglect I say! - Morpheus
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Oct 16
Dear me Morpheus, yer doin' it wrong. We don't simplyspeak to acquire food or more food, you must gently tap the hoomin on the leg, claws extended, when they can't see you. The combination of pain and shock brings the correct response. The hoomin rises quickly, apologises and straight away checks to see what you require.- Banjo.
1 person likes this
~Banjo.
@Firestorm0122 (735)
• United States
13 Jul 16
A simple strike with the paw is enough to get your valid point across. To objectify my demands, I constantly whack my servant. When things do not go the way I expect, I take revenge by knocking items off dressers, desks, and night stands. They are learning to obey my every command, little by little. Keep trying.. maybe leave a surprise in their shoes. -Sierra.
On a more serious note, this completely made my night. Lol.
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
13 Jul 16
@Firestorm0122 Dear sierra, I have been known to powerchuck biscuits all over the floor to express my disgust at the flavour. And the occasional hairball can be quite dramatic when produced by someone of my size. However I do prefer the scratching at the cupboard and purring in the face approach. I tend to save my claws for those occasions when the exact number of pats required, has been exceeded. - Morpheus
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Jul 16
That is one proud kitty standing atop its kingdom lol!
2 people like this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
13 Jul 16
@JohnRoberts I can survey much of the back yard from this position - at least until my human wants to put the recycling out.
1 person likes this
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
•
13 Mar 17
Dear Morpheus,
My mama went through a phase of being very uncomplimentary. First she said I had become a teenage boy, and then she said I ate like a dog! But it's okay, because the combination of having a teenage appetite and a kitten tummy turned out to my advantage. To slow me down and minimize the unpleasant consequences, Mama quit feeding me in a bowl, and started sprinkling my food all over my ottoman. But now, she seems to be growing out of that phase, and she just puts a bowl on the ottoman. When I protest that I don't have anything to eat, she'll put a little food from the bowl on the ottoman beside it, but it's not enough to live on. I'm only allowed the "sensitive tummy" stuff until I outgrow the unpleasant consequences, she says. It's not fun. I want the good stuff back, but she has it hid from me.
Unsatisfactorily, Huckleberry the Cat, Kitty Blogger
1 person likes this
@bwjsdems (496)
• New Zealand
14 Mar 17
Dearest Huck, How truly unfortunate for you that your human has decided to starve you. Maybe you need to try plaintive meows and sad faces more often? Husband your strength and nap often to conserve your energy until she sees good sense. - Morpheus
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
29 Oct 16
yer gorgeous 'n dunno why life'd been so diff'cult fer ya :)
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
20 Dec 16
For a long time I was sad that we don't have felines in the house anymore but maybe its a good thing. Thoroughly enjoyed you tail of life...
@petatonicsca (7070)
• Japan
14 Oct 16
Hello Morpheus, this is Queen Cherry. It's so hard to get good help these days, isn't it?
1 person likes this
