Do you myLotters talk to strangers? I often do and it is usually fun.
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
Eugene, Oregon
September 23, 2016 6:46pm CST
I hadn't thought about this much, since it is something I have always done. This morning on NPR's the Takeaway show, I heard author Kio Stark discuss her book, "When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You." She even talks to people on the subway, for heaven's sake. She said she grew up that way and I guess I did too.
I started working in retail at age 14 (grocery store) and had to talk to customers there and in all the other sales and marketing jobs I did when working and even since I retired.
It is more than "Have a nice day" too. One question she might ask a stranger on a subway or in a restaurant she said is, "What have you been doing today," (assuming there is some eye contact or a little smile). That opening seems a bit strange to me, maybe "How's your day going?"
So, do you talk to strangers like that? Do you have any good openers? (Not, "Hi, come here often? please".
39 people like this
48 responses
@CinnamonGrl (7086)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
24 Sep 16
Yes, and I used to talk to a lot of people on the bus and at the bus stop. My openers are usually fairly bizarre, but it depends on if the person is smiling to begin with or has a nasty resting face lol.
8 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Ahh, the bizarre opening usually gets a laugh.
2 people like this
@CinnamonGrl (7086)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
24 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic P.S. I also talk to myself, and there isn't anyone stranger
6 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
@CinnamonGrl You don't know my wife,
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Sep 16
I'm more of a shy person so I don't usually know what to say to people. When a stranger talks to me though I have no issue talking back with them. =)
8 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
It is good that you are open to respond to people.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
I never mind being considered a bit of a lunatic.
3 people like this
@jennyjoy (1957)
• Bangalore, India
25 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic Could we "High-Five" on that?
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (472081)
• Switzerland
24 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic Yes it is. It seems that people love to discuss with me. Every time my husband finds me talking with someone said "I was sure, someone had started a discussion with you".
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
@LadyDuck You do seem quite gregarious and friendly, Anna.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Showing interest in a book is a good conversation starter.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (13148)
• Ireland
24 Sep 16
@jameshxstatic Maybe you could try "Do you know the correct spelling of diahorroea?" Perhaps not.
6 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
That might be crappy way to begin alright.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40320)
• Laguna Woods, California
24 Sep 16
@James Hxstatic - Yes, I talk to strangers all the time ... especially at the beach. I often see struggling couples trying to take selfies of themselves and I offer to take the picture for them. Then, I sometimes ask them questions about where they are from, etc. Often they are from other countries. Its a lot of fun!
6 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
You live in an ideal area for that kind of interaction. We find the same thing happening at the Oregon coast.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
25 Sep 16
@DeborahDiane That is true. Maybe it is the power of the ocean.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40320)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic - There is something about the beach that just makes people more open. They seem more honest, too. Most people leave things all over the beach and no one bothers their stuff while their swimming.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
That one seemed strange to me too. I might say, "Who wants to know?"
2 people like this
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
Hmm... but don't children often get told 'don't talk to strangers'? I must have been told that and I followed it.
Anyway, I still think it might not be very safe to just talk to random strangers for no reason at all. If you are a clerk at a store, then you have to talk to the customers. But that's part of your job and I wouldn't really call your customers random strangers because they walked into your store so they must be looking to buy something. If you and that stranger on the subway have some shared experience - for instance, you both helped the pregnant mother travelling with her young son and elderly mother find seats in a crowded car - perhaps you'll find yourself talking with each other later. But to just be sitting next to each other without that shared experience, if you tried to talk to me, I might feel suspicious about you, instead of feel safe.
Perhaps if the wait in the subway or a queue is unusually long, people might start talking to each other wondering what the problem is. But if it's the normal queue and wait time, starting a conversation would seem awkward.
3 people like this
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic Hmm... maybe if I'm in a trusting mood, there is a slight chance. But otherwise...
By the way, I talk to strangers online all the time.
5 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
But it is fun to try and besides, I have such an honest face,
3 people like this
@Vjvals (906)
• Roseville, California
24 Sep 16
After I have seen them a couple of times and they are in "safe" places, but still many look at you like your an alien. So I'm just glad I have work where I can say something. otherwise it's just alot of people saying they smile at everyone and are always social but I have not seen that at all for at least a decade.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
People are pretty open and friendly here in Oregon, so it is easy to start a conversation.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121714)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Sep 16
I have always talked to strangers, even people on the subway! If anyone is dumb enough to want to listen to my boring stories, then I'm going to talk 'em up! lol
I always joke to my friends that I like to reminisce with people I don't know! It's quite fun!
4 people like this
@moffittjc (121714)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic it sounds that way! It would be funny if we ever crossed paths out in a street somewhere! lol
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
You do seem like that kind of guy @moffitjc, a good way to be. We could tell stories for hours.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
25 Sep 16
@sol_cee I went to work at age 14 in a big supermarket in Texas. That cured me.
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
true. it's normal for people to bump into each other without 'excuse me' or 'i'm sorry'
4 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
24 Sep 16
Unless I'm at a bar, I don't. I'm actually very introverted in real life.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
I am a mix really and getting a bit quieter perhaps, but I did have brief conversations with the ladies to my right and left during intermission at Miss Saigon last night. It was 170 minutes long.
2 people like this
@EMbakes (1142)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I am expose to talking to strangers because of the career path that I am in. Mostly, they asked me about my plans. It's actually weird to talk to strangers and have serious interaction with them, but it helps me from discovering a lot about people.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Yes it does. Have you ever become friends with someone you met that way?
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
25 Sep 16
@EMbakes That is good enough sometimes.
2 people like this
@EMbakes (1142)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
@JamesHxstatic Yes, but they're not my constant friends. Whenever we meet somewhere, we just smile.
3 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
yes, i do, like when we're in line or sitting in benches waiting to be called, or sharing a table in an eatery. i won't be seeing them again anyway, and i might learn something useful.
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Yes, and if you do see them again, they won't be strangers.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50526)
• United States
25 Sep 16
If the mood strikes me I have been known to have wonderful conversations with total strangers.
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
25 Sep 16
Growing up in many places with the AF probably influenced that.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41747)
• United States
24 Sep 16
Most of the time I'm a little reserved around strangers, except at my part-time job. I'm supposed to interact and I actually enjoy being friendly!
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Funny the different roles we play in life.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
24 Sep 16
What I say depends on the circumstance. In line at the checkout, a comment about how slow/fast my line is moving. The he weather is often a great icebreaker.
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
What is that old line, "Everybody talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it."
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Yes, it is common here to say that, but most people don't want to know. Usually, the response is "fine," and they move on here.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
24 Sep 16
Not everyone can easily. The author of the book made a case of it being good for us as individuals and for society.
2 people like this