That Man Of Mine.
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
December 4, 2016 3:50pm CST
He has a few friends round for beer,
That's fine, they're full of good cheer,
But what is the reason
He calls it a 'coven'
If I have some girlfriends round here?
When I ask if he'd like some tea,
He declines, so I get some for me,
Settle back in my chair.
But as soon as I'm there,
He wants some - how annoying is he!
From the 'remote' it seems I am banned,
Falls asleep with it clutched in his hand,
I prise it away,
He'll wake and he'll say,
"I'm watching that ! " - annoys me no end!
And I've not yet mentioned the seat
That covers the toilet so neat,
It does make me frown
When it is not down
No matter how much I entreat
When I said I want a new broom,
He asked (and it spelt his doom)
If I'd crash-landed mine,
That was well out of line,
He's sleeping now in the spare room!
And perchance if this should be read,
By my husband, will he see red?,
Should I run for cover,
Will it be be all over,
Perhaps we'll no longer be wed?
I pinched the idea for the second last verse (the broom) from a joke that @nanette64 sent me, but my man is guilty of all the rest
.(I luv 'im really!)
And I've not yet mentioned the seat
That covers the toilet so neat,
It does make me frown
When it is not down
No matter how much I entreat
When I said I want a new broom,
He asked (and it spelt his doom)
If I'd crash-landed mine,
That was well out of line,
He's sleeping now in the spare room!
And perchance if this should be read,
By my husband, will he see red?,
Should I run for cover,
Will it be be all over,
Perhaps we'll no longer be wed?
I pinched the idea for the second last verse (the broom) from a joke that @nanette64 sent me, but my man is guilty of all the rest.(I luv 'im really!)51 people like this
49 responses
@moffittjc (121604)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
I was thinking the same thing! I guess it doesn't matter where you go in the world, us men are all the same! lol
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@moffittjc From the responses here I would say that was true
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
I trained my man early...leave the seat down. Remember those pretty fluffy sear covers for the toilet lid? When they are on the lid, the rim must be held tight because the balance point changes
, I promised not to put one on the toilet if he remembered to put the seat down. In forty one years he has rarely forgotten.....the other things ( not the broom) he is guilty of.
Nicely written.
, I promised not to put one on the toilet if he remembered to put the seat down. In forty one years he has rarely forgotten.....the other things ( not the broom) he is guilty of.
Nicely written.4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@Morleyhunt Well, how cunning are you! I never thought of a fluffy cover, and after 51 years I'm pretty much resigned to it
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
@jaboUK I hadn't been aware that those fluffy covers made it difficult for a man. When I found out. I had an awesome tool to negotiate with.
Now I know when we have male guests.....my father also tended to leave the seat up. If I got up in the night it was.....Grrr....then, at least I know he was up once.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (51011)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
That's cute!
I didn't think that a man was capable of watching television without holding onto the remote, my husband and my son are not. But that's all right with me because they are both trained and leave the seat down-even the cover because of my constant nagging!
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
4 Dec 16
Yeah but do you really want to train a new one at this time in your life???
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@GreatMartin Gawd NO! I'll settle for what I've got
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
21 Mar 17
@jaboUK lol this was awesome! Some of the verses remind me of my dad and pop….and myself actually lol
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
21 Mar 17
@jaboUK lol yep Sometimes my dad will ask me if I want something from the kitchen and I say "no thank you" but change my mind when he sits down lol I get it myself though. I can be quite indecisive at times.....I think... 
2 people like this
@marguicha (223107)
• Chile
4 Dec 16
I loved it! My husband was quite nice in many things but I haven´t forgotten that he though the remote was his.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@marguicha I wonder why it is that the men all seem to think the remote is their personal property??
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@marguicha Fortunately I'm not that bothered by the TV as I'm usually on the computer
.
.1 person likes this
@marguicha (223107)
• Chile
4 Dec 16
@jaboUK When my husband was alive, computers were not so much part of our lives.
. He will respect my privacy, but still . . . I had better stay on his "nice" list 
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
5 Dec 16
So , when at home the remote is always his .
Good thing , when i am at the bedroom and hubby comes in to watch , there i no choice to watch except for two channels . Though , i give it to him , as long as the soap i am watching at night has finished already .
Good thing , when i am at the bedroom and hubby comes in to watch , there i no choice to watch except for two channels . Though , i give it to him , as long as the soap i am watching at night has finished already . 1 person likes this
@xFiacre (13035)
• Ireland
5 Dec 16
@jaboUK Ah, I understand that. One of my worst ever memories was coming to Belfast from Africa in mid winter and having to sit on my grandmother's stone cold toilet seat. I've never been so shocked in my life. How do people live like this I wondered!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121604)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
I got a good laugh out of this! Sounds about right for the typical man!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@moffittjc I'm pleased you got a laugh Jeff, and no doubt you could make a similar list about we women's shortcomings!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121604)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
@jaboUK I would never do that! Women are such beautiful creatures, they have no shortcomings!
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
14 Jan 17
LMAO! I swear you just described my Dad in there. My parents are always squabbling over those things.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
14 Jan 17
@Daljinder I'm pleased that this amused you, and that you could recognise your Dad here
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Dec 16
I am glad to see that hubby and I are not the only ones to suffer from the "I want", after the other person has sat down.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
13 Dec 16
@Shellyann36 Lol - you too? It's sooo annoying, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
6 Dec 16
aha! 'tis universal then, eh? thanks fer the great giggles, hon! the hubs here 'tis prone to that remote mongerin' 'n near constant accuses me 'f changin' the channel whilst he's 'napping'. brilliant!! big hugs 'n love!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 16
@crazyhorseladycx Lol - the 'remote' one seems to be the one most of my female commenters can relate to
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
7 Dec 16
@jaboUK our ol' tv used to go off by 'tself 'fter 4 hours. the hubs used to accuse me'f turnin' such off whilst he t'was sleepin'. i dunno why those fella's think they own the danged thingies? big hugs!!
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
9 Dec 16
Oh my you made me laugh, we all go through that. The remote is something I will never touch, I have my own TV in the Family room while his is in the living room. I like mine better, I can tape shows while I'm not on it and watch them later...The toilet seat is not a problem I trained him young... My hubby has mentioned the boom for transpiration too... Fun to read!!!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@PainsOnSlate I'm so pleased that you found this fun, thanks. We only have one TV so your system wouldn't work for us, but I don't watch much anyway. Well done you for training him regarding the toilet seat
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
10 Dec 16
@jaboUK My oldest son was living with us for a year and he had the TV in the family room, its quite the TV and It will allow you to tape shows while watching others. When he got his act together and moved out, he left the TV for me because he knew I loved it.... I tape my favorite shows so I can watch them when I want to, i never miss a show now because its there waiting for me...(that is the only reason we have two TV's)
1 person likes this
