Why didn't the police arrest him?
@lookatdesktop (27134)
Dallas, Texas
December 18, 2016 11:39am CST
A long time ago, my wife was stuck several times by her late husband by a belt he removed from around his waist, while she intervened because before this happened, she witnessed him with a metal clothes hanger on the floor, pressing it against his daughter's throat.
He was trying to kill her.
Theses and other such activities were recorded in police reports. When this latest event took place, she first asked the woman at the police station, "Why didn't you arrest him? Why is it he is getting by with this type of abuse of me and my children?" The woman on the other end said, "This is about the 26th report you have called in on your husband and the only thing we can do is a He Said, She Said with no other information to go on. If you do this one more time you both will be arrested and your children will be put into Foster care."
My wife, at that time, married to a man who was very abusive and angry most of the time, had to put up with years of abuse to both herself and her children by this maniac.
So I have to ask you ... 'Why do bad men get by with spousal and child abuse like this in America and the wife told to just shut up and put up?' It sounds like the system isn't working, or for that matter, never worked all that great.
The things that go on behind closed doors ... Domestic abuse in the family:
https://mic.com/articles/10919/domestic-violence-statistics-70-of-cases-go-unreported#.6ITvZnTM3
13 people like this
13 responses
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
19 Dec 16
@mommymonky That's why you take a class on when and how to use it, and you practice with it at the range regularly, so when that moment comes, you don't hesitate or let him get that close.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
19 Dec 16
Yup, that's what I had to do @DWDavis .
1 person likes this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
18 Dec 16
Think the main reason or error lies on how the police evaluates complaints whether its legit, has a cause for alarm, valid etc... And most of the time this is still subject to how the one recieving the complaint would interprete it and at the same time correlate to the existing law of a particular place.
Terrible and very complicated but it happens everywhere and at times the response becomes too late when a crime has been committed because some people ignored the red flags
2 people like this
@topffer (42156)
• France
18 Dec 16
As long as nobody has been physically hurt and there is no other witnesses, it is difficult to prove that some violence occurred. Our law includes psychological violence, but how a policeman can be sure that threats, insults, etc have been said, and that it is not just a strategy from the husband or the wife to win a divorce ? Most of the time they just write it on their books and at best they report it to the social services to investigate when there are children in the house.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Dec 16
I hope that thge police now are more alert to wife battering and can do more to help. we heard a woman screaming in the aot cimpklex nect to ours we called the police abd tthey came ar once but they were too late. the batterer had crushed her skill. poljce asjjked why the neiughbirs had niot cakked nuch earlier nobody wabted tto get involved
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop it was so horrible and I cried for the lady I never met someone hgad toioi
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
19 Dec 16
That's why I shot and killed my husband after 17 1/2 years of abuse @lookatdesktop . I still have physical injuries from it all. The judge on my case (a female) called me a 'murderer' and that I should be hung in the town square. This is after abuse reports had been filed in Nebraska, Kansas and Texas.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
19 Dec 16
You were so very brave and fully justified in your actions. I am proud of you for that.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
20 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop Thank you; there was no choice left.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
19 Dec 16
If only American government concerning civil liberties issues like the right to press charges against an abusive spouse could be employed more effectively here like it seems to be working up there in Canada. Our justice and legal system is not perfect by a long shot.
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
19 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop I don't know if it always works so well here either. The problem of proof is still very difficult when there are no witnesses. But the police can lay charges whether the spouse is willing or not.
1 person likes this
@mommymonky (325)
•
18 Dec 16
It might have been in one of those cities where couples continuously call the cops on each other to cause drama. What she should have done, was to go to the hospital and have those injuries documented, then left him and stayed in a shelter where she could be protected. Beyond that, unfortunately, even if she got a restraining order against him, he could still come after her. So, my suggestion would be to find a good charge, and try to have him jailed for a good long time, move in with someone who is willing to protect her, or move very far away and just disappear.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
18 Dec 16
She was driving one day and out of the blue that ex or hers got out of his truck, began walking to her car with a baseball bat and she took off and he followed her, and she stayed a good distance from him and drove directly into the Southwest Dallas Police Precinct where he was arrested for attempted assault and battery. lol
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
19 Dec 16
@mommymonky That is utterly horrific and terrible to hear. OMG.
1 person likes this
@mommymonky (325)
•
18 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop I had an ex like that once. He said if I ever left him he was going to kill me then himself, and I left. One day he chased me all over town, so finally I headed to my dad's shop, and saw my dad on the road coming back to town, so I pulled over knowing dad saw me, and my ex pulled over, thinking he got me, and my dad screeched to a halt in the middle of the road, got out of his car and backed the stupid sunofabich down. I had to leave town and hide for 6 years to get the prick away from me.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37353)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop (6572),, I do think it has gotten easier to press charges today against a spouse or partner that abuses the family. I have heard many stories where abused women will call the police and they will be asked if she wants to press charges and many times the women will not press charges because they think the guy will change.
I am sorry your wife and her kids went through that abuse. Luckily, she found you. From all that I have read here and on Persona Paper that you have written, you seem like a good guy and a loving spouse.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
18 Dec 16
I love her absolutely but I am not perfect. I still have some things I can improve on and will try to do this, through reflection, patience and prayer.
1 person likes this
@kevinakash (2084)
• Sri Lanka
19 Dec 16
what is this? i can't believe this in a country like the US. the other problem is how come a female officer act like this for a woman who needs help.?
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
19 Dec 16
The police like to write up reports because they don't want to get involved really. They figure both parties are at fault on average and don't want to get caught up in the rigamaro so to speak. They just want to get back to their shift to business as usual because I guess it stresses out the average person and really I would not want to be a police officer. It would indeed be too darn stressful for me.
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
18 Dec 16
My ex sister in law was beaten badly by her new boyfriend and the police were called several times. She would not press charges in the end the police took control and prosecuted this guy and it made a precedent in court that the victim did not have to press charges the police can and will do it. The guy was sent to prison!
I hope that we are living in more enlightened times and women will not put up with this kind of abuse. The police will take action particularly when children are being abused.
Thankfully your wife found you! You must seem like heaven on earth compared to what she endured in the past.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
18 Dec 16
I am confident of this. I certainly appreciate that.
1 person likes this
@MissNikki (5237)
• Maple Ridge, British Columbia
22 Dec 16
I am so sorry to hear this happened to her.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
18 Dec 16
Because most married women of children with an abusive male spouse, fear of losing child custody, a roof over their heads and the fear of the husband's eventual retaliation, they keep silent most often even when at risk for their very lives.
@Kandae11 (55026)
•
18 Dec 16
@lookatdesktop Same thing in the Caribbean , but then the men are told that -the things they can get away with here, they won't be able to over there.
1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27134)
• Dallas, Texas
19 Dec 16
What system? If there were some logic to it the outcome would be more favorable to the innocent ones.
