i see, you see, we don't see

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Isn't it odd how different people perceive different things in different ways? Take the {alleged} misfits of society, as an example. Where you see a monster, I see a person who's been constantly let down throughout his life, probably from a very young age. I believe the person we become is very much borne of both nature and nurture. We are not a product of just one of these; it is the way our nature is nurtured that sets us on the pathway to good, bad, or a little bit of both. The more we show kindness and respect, even to those whom we think don't deserve it, the better the world would be. There is a girl in college, in a class I support in. When she's present the class behave in a particularly nasty way. When she isn't, the class is - not perfect, but - lovely, ish. The teacher hates her. With a passion. And it shows. This obvious hate fuels the misbehaviour in this student and her friendship group. I sit there and cringe, all the while thinking how the teacher isn't nurturing this girl's nature. Without using it as an excuse, but with the realisation that it is difficult to escape the life we've been born into {which is where nurture comes in}, she comes from a rough family, living on a rough estate. Her home life, by all accounts, lacks discipline and hugs. This is her learned behaviour. She's tough and mean because that's who she needs to be at home. The people she meets, particularly those in authority, see her toughness and horridness and focus solely on that. And that breaks my heart. So yesterday, when the teacher was deliberately winding her up, I sat with her and helped her with her work. I calmed her down, let her have a grumble, explained that she wasn't helping herself with her behaviour, and enabled her to get on. I encouraged her to talk about her feelings and show me her vulnerable side. I nurtured her. I hope that some of that nurture will rub off and balance out the non-nurture she receives at home, but who knows? Maybe it's too late. She did thank me for working with her, and asked if I'd do the same next week. I will, of course I will. The teacher thinks I have the patience of a saint ... Maybe I do. *smile*