SHOULD A WOMAN GO AFTER A MAN?

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@Kandae11 (55172)

February 2, 2017 7:39am CST

In the month of February there is always a bit more focus on love and romance.After all, Valentine's Day which is celebrated on February 14 is recognized as a day for romance and devotion. So now that we are in the mood for love, here are two questions I would like to ask. This one is for the women: There is this guy you are attracted to, who you suspect may also have an interest in you -- but so far he hasn't made a move in your direction, would you take matters into your own hands and invite him out? And for the men: How would you feel about a woman asking you for a date? Would you think that she is desperate? or would you feel flattered?

29 people like this

32 responses

@DianneN (247184)

• United States

2 Feb 17

I've never had to use my womanly wiles to attract a man, I'm proud to say. I've never asked any male out on a date or even called one on the phone. I don't think my hubby would appreciate it.

5 people like this

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@1hopefulman (45120)

• Canada

2 Feb 17

@DianneN Good one!

2 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

I'm sure he won't.

3 people like this

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@1hopefulman (45120)

• Canada

2 Feb 17

If a man steals a woman's wallet then she should go after him with a big stick. Just kidding!

Some men might be shy and a little nudging might help. I don't have a problem with a woman making it obvious she's interested.

5 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

Great.

2 people like this

@Tampa_girl7 (50608)

• United States

2 Feb 17

I think that nowadays it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to ask a man out.

5 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

2 Feb 17

It certainly is and it would be nice to know how men feel about it.

3 people like this

@Gita17112016 (3611)

• Trinidad And Tobago

2 Feb 17

Yes, hypothetically speaking, If I am attracted to a man and feels he may have those same kind of feeling...then yes, I will ask him out. My education gives me a certain amount of confidence and my job do not leave me too much time to waste. If I know what I want I make a bee line for it. If I am unsure or have mixed feelings I am willing to wait and be cautious. I hardly think I qualify as 'desperate'. Lol

3 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

2 Feb 17

Your instinct should tell you if he is interested -- and probably just needs a little push.

1 person likes this

@Gita17112016 (3611)

• Trinidad And Tobago

2 Feb 17

@Kandae11 That might be right.

@syeow1 (5136)

• India

2 Feb 17

I feel you are in love.yes if the women is you I will definitely accept.

3 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

Actually I am not in that situation, but it is great to know that you would accept.

3 people like this

@syeow1 (5136)

• India

2 Feb 17

@Kandae11 yes why not..

1 person likes this

@stapllotik (1933)

• India

2 Feb 17

If you are a woman who is interested in a man, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't put yourself out there and get to know him. Hang out with him, perhaps alone or with others as well, and be yourself, fully and completely! You will know in time if he is interested in you. But if you are not sure, by all means, let him know how you feel about him. And, depending on his response take it from there. Good luck!

4 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

2 Feb 17

Sensible advice for those who find themselves in that situation.

2 people like this

Uncle Jay, Finding More Value in Your Machine

@mythociate (21432)

• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

2 Feb 17

Every man is desparate! (That's why--the Bible says--why God made woman!) And nowadays, the man needs the woman to ask! because the man has no way of knowing that the woman wants him anywhere near her, and she's as likely to SUE him as she is to 'say "yes"!'

The Woman's Role in the Plan of God

A tract on the role of the Christian woman. This is an Anabaptist-Mennonite page firmly grounded in the Scripture.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

2 Feb 17

I doubt a woman would go so far as to sue the man who asks her out. There would be cause for concern however, if she tells him no and he continues to persist.. Very interesting reading - that link about a woman's role.

2 people like this

Uncle Jay, Finding More Value in Your Machine

@mythociate (21432)

• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

5 Feb 17

@Kandae11 And also; if she tells him no, there's still 'that tension in the air'---where they can't be friends, because 'she knows why he wants to be "friends"

1 person likes this

@smileyhema (4606)

• United States

2 Feb 17

Irrespective of men or women, if you feel that he/ she is your dream partner you have every right to propose to them .. at the same time we should also understand the fact that the proposal may or may not be accepted and we should be in a position to handle with ease without upsetting one's own mind .. Time will never wait for love ..

2 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

Men experience rejection all the time, but it would be kind of hard on the woman if she is rejected , seeing traditionally it is the man who does the asking.

2 people like this

@jstory07 (140178)

• Roseburg, Oregon

2 Feb 17

I asked my husband to come over all the time for a meal after we got together and than we moved in together.

3 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

That was after you got together.

1 person likes this

@amadeo (111938)

• United States

2 Feb 17

for me if a man ask me for a date.I be flaattered

3 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

It is better to be asked than to be the one doing the asking.

1 person likes this

@Meramar (2695)

•

2 Feb 17

My Internet is going very slow today, so what should be one like turned into three, as it seems

Regarding your question, maybe I am a bit old fashioned. But, as a woman, I would not ask a man directly for a date. If he is shy, I may help him with some attitudes to take a certain decision. Otherwise, if he is not the one who goes ahead, he might not be the right one for me.

2 people like this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

I agree definitely with your views.

2 people like this

@Meramar (2695)

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2 Feb 17

@Kandae11 Thank you!

1 person likes this

@FayeHazel (40243)

• United States

2 Feb 17

Hm good topic. I'm often told that women can and should go after men. However I have also heard it said that if the man is really and truly interested he will ask her.

1 person likes this

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@FayeHazel (40243)

• United States

3 Feb 17

@Kandae11 Hm, good question. Sometimes shy people have beautiful personalities -- other times they are insecure which I personally have a hard time dealing with. Depends on the person I think :-)

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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2 Feb 17

That is true, if he is really interested he would ask -- unless he is shy. Which raises the question - would you be really interested in a very shy man?

1 person likes this

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3 Feb 17

personally, it would be a little bit awkward for a woman offer to ask man out.,But anyway, if a man is really attracted to you, why not give it a try

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@Kandae11 (55172)

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4 Feb 17

@frank96 I think she would be bold to do it in the first place and the man would be in an awkward position if he plans to say no.

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

3 Feb 17

Awkward for the man, or the woman?

•

4 Feb 17

@Kandae11 woman, certainly

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@themrs (156)

• United States

2 Feb 17

I am more old school, let the guy ask you out. If he really likes you he will get the courage to ask you out and if not then he is not that into you.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

2 Feb 17

That is true. It could be also that he is aware that you are attracted to him and is waiting to see what you will do about it.

1 person likes this

• United States

2 Feb 17

@Kandae11 well poor thing he would just be waiting... LOL

1 person likes this

@pumpkinjam (8778)

• United Kingdom

3 Feb 17

There's no reason why a woman shouldn't go after a man. I've had to be active in these matters when dating shy people! I think some men find it flattering (or a relief that the girl has made the move so they don't have to question her interest) while others might prefer to do the asking.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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3 Feb 17

Men do find it flattering, especially the shy ones. I would never try that with someone who is full of himself.

@Letranknight2015 (52123)

• Philippines

3 Feb 17

That's never going to happen that's for sure. NO date for me this valentines.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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3 Feb 17

You mean you won't be asking anyone out.

@ridingbet (66854)

• Philippines

4 Feb 17

no, i don't think i have to go after a man. if he likes to be with me, he should make the first move. but this is not my priority though.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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4 Feb 17

Well said.

1 person likes this

@josie_ (10032)

• Philippines

4 Feb 17

Women are more independent nowadays. Nothing wrong with making the first move (in the old days it's called flirting)...but do it in a subtle way so the man thinks it was he who did the asking.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

•

4 Feb 17

Very wise

1 person likes this

@shaynas (5487)

• India

3 Feb 17

I would have invited him out instead of waiting for the things to move.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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3 Feb 17

If you think he is interested in you, maybe first drop a few hints and see if that would work.

• Delhi, India

4 Feb 17

Nobody should go behind the other just come together to make this world happiest and do your jobs as per your gender relation and knowledge.

1 person likes this

@Kandae11 (55172)

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4 Feb 17

That is what we would wish, but unfortunately it is not the reality.