A Bit Of Nonsense
By Jabo
@jaboUK (64354)
United Kingdom
February 24, 2017 2:28pm CST
Have you ever tried milking a cow?
I've done it, but didn't know how,
I tugged at her udder
but that made her shudder.
she didn't say "moo" - she said "ow!"
I sqeezed, but of milk - not a drop,
the cow had to ask me to stop,
"You haven't the skill
you're making me ill,
you're like a bull in that china shop!"
"It seems that you've not got a clue
so here's what I think we should do,
to save me a groan
I'll jump up and down,
that should bring my milk into view".
"While I'm in the air you just pull
in that way the pail will be full,
that should do the trick
but we need to be quick
as I have a date with a bull".
It turned out alright in the end
that cow and I set a new trend,
out came a milk shake,
her date she did make,
and this daft silly verse I have penned.
68 people like this
62 responses
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
24 Feb 17
When I was a child, I tried to milk a goat. It didn't appreciate it at all. I didn't get a single drop out of the udder.
Although I was singing to her:
Strip, strap, strull.
Is the bucket not yet full?
(This is the translation of a German rhyme.)
4 people like this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
25 Feb 17
Squeeze and tug...
Squeeze and tug...
There's really nothing to it.
Kiss the cow and then give it a hug!
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (179734)
• United States
25 Feb 17
No offense, I liked Jabo's better!
2 people like this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
25 Feb 17
@jaboUK thank you.
Of course my rhymes were no match for your verses!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 17
@allen0187 oh that's great - replying in rhyme! I love it, well done.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@Tampa_girl7 Thank you, I'm pleased about that
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
25 Feb 17
I chuckled and have milked a lot of cows. There were a few cows that might have been easier.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
25 Feb 17
@jaboUK I milked cows at home without a machine and at a dairy farm with the machine. A lot faster with the machine except for 1 cow, who liked to kick people. She hated people and reading your post made me think of her.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 17
@Fishmomma So you've personal experience of milking - I think it's mostly done by machines now.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 17
@Fishmomma I only tried it the once, and yes - she did try to kick me
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
24 Feb 17
@jaboUK It was such fun reading it and imaging the scenes
How long did it take to compose?
How long did it take to compose?1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@mysdianait My day has not been wasted if I've made you giggle - thank you
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@mysdianait It took me about an hour originally, but then I put it aside for a bit. I always do that as I find that's the best way to spot mistakes. Then I honed it a bit - it's surprising how just changing the order of the words can make it so much more readable. Then the last thing I always do with my poems is read them out aloud - if they don't trip off the tongue, they need more work.
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (6752)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
It's great until you get to the last verse.
I'd have used 'surprised' and 'pasteurised'.
Other than that it is fab-u-lous
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (6752)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@jaboUK True, true. But not if it were...
I was really surprised
It came out pasteurised
Or something similar. 
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@Orson_Kart Thanks for your input, but 'the milk came out pasteurised' makes it too many syllables for a limerick
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb 17
@Orson_Kart Oh yes, that's good, but I don't think the meter is quite right
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
5 Mar 17
I think I would stay away. Not really inclined to get up close and personal like that. 
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 17
@Daljinder It's all part of life's rich tapestry
2 people like this
@allknowing (135331)
• India
25 Feb 17
My mother was great with her cow but I never saw the cow doing what your cow suggested
1 person likes this
@allknowing (135331)
• India
25 Feb 17
@jaboUK That must have been for beginners and your cow knew it. But my mother was an expert at it
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
17 Mar 17
@epiffanie Lol - she put up with a lot, didn't she?
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60794)
• Perth, Australia
4 Apr 17
@jaboUK haha! This was clever! I've always wanted to see if I could milk a cow. I think I would be all cringe like first though.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
5 Apr 17
@VivaLaDani13 I did get the hang of the milking business after a while.
2 people like this
oh no! @Daljinder (23236)
• Bangalore, India
4 Apr 17
@VivaLaDani13 You will be charged with cattle molestation!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 17
@AliCanary Lol - I wish I'd thought of 'milk shake' - I might have been able to weave it in instead of curdled
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb 17
@AliCanary In fact - I may just pinch your idea if that's ok with you. I'll change a couple of lines in that last verse if I can.
1 person likes this
