Update on my "kid who won't speak." And some thoughts on toddler selfishness.

@TheHorse (221647)
Walnut Creek, California
March 10, 2017 7:33pm CST
I've talked in previous about a young friend of mine who has "expressive aphasia." He understands English perfectly (no receptive aphasia), and expresses his needs well using grunts, gestures and a bit of sign language. He is 2 1/2. Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed an increase in his use of consonants, along with vowels, in his "self-talk" while playing (paralleling the normal transition from cooing to babbling in the first year), and today, when he and I were paying with magnet tiles, he clearly said "no" to me when I asked if I could put another square atop a square he'd put down. When I asked if I could put it somewhere else, he nodded and said "uh-huh," which he's been able to say for weeks. Today, at lunch, he said "no," in response to a question from someone. Another kid, an early 3-year-old, exclaimed, "Noah just said 'no'"! All of the other kids (I think we had eight in all) became excited, and started talking to him, with exaggerated clarity, trying to encourage him to say more. Do you believe in the stereotype of 2 1/2-year-olds being selfish? Or have you seen similar examples of empathy and kindness? Yes, 2 1/2- and early 3-year-olds do argue about who had that toy chicken first, and they do love to test boundaries, or say "pee pee poo poo" in front of Grandma. But I'm constantly amazed by how much caring is there even in the earliest years.
11 people like this
12 responses
@JudyEv (343586)
• Rockingham, Australia
11 Mar 17
It is amazing how much care and understanding they can show in some situations. This would have been very heart-warming.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
It really made my day. Stuff like that kind of restores my faith in human nature.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
11 Mar 17
@TheHorse Surprising,but I have come across kids who show empathy around the age you are referring.Not that they do not do anything selfish.
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@silvermist (19702)
• India
12 Mar 17
@TheHorse Of course,most of the time they are selfish.But some times we would be surprised by the compassion and consideration shown by them.Not all of them,may be.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
Oh heck yeah! I bet "mine" and "no" are lot of kids' first words after "mommy" and "daddy."
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
12 Mar 17
@silvermist I think they want to be "king" and "queen" first, but once that's established, they also want others to be happy.
1 person likes this
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
24 Mar 17
After being with kids with so much empathy, you wonder what happens as we get older. It sounds like he will eventually talk, at least more than what he does now. I am impressed that they start working with two year olds now.
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@mommaj (23112)
• United States
24 Mar 17
@TheHorse Ah, the innocent learning about everything "new". I love their enthusiasm. They really are little sponges.
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
24 Mar 17
I love working with this population. They think everything is interesting, from my mandolin, to Where The Wild Things Are, to a caterpillar.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472386)
• Switzerland
11 Mar 17
One thing does not exclude the other. Kids are selfish, but they can also show how much they care about their little friends.
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@LadyDuck (472386)
• Switzerland
12 Mar 17
@TheHorse Absolutely! This is what I always say to my family and friends, humans never really change. You can have a childish behavior even when you are an adult and you can have a grown up behavior at a very young age.
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
Aren't grown-ups kind of...the same?
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
11 Mar 17
they can be, but they can also be caring, it really depends on the kid and what's going on.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
12 Mar 17
@TheHorse that is also a major truth
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
I think it depends on what the parents (and other caretakers) model for the kid as well.
2 people like this
@diosabella (4789)
11 Mar 17
Even at this age there are times that I can't express myself properly because I have so much going on inside my head. And I get frustrated and just keep silent instead of talking it out. How much more to a 2 year old ? Your making progress! Keep up the good work! I'm excited too!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
I'm really excited! I expect more words soon. I'm also excited abut the love shown by the other kids.
1 person likes this
11 Mar 17
@TheHorse Yeah! They show happiness and support that was really nice of them. Keep us posted with his progress.
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@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
@diosabella Will do. I already look forward to seeing him next week.
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@GardenGerty (161546)
• United States
18 Mar 17
I think these students model what they see the adults in their life do.Your three year olds have an active interest in being like you and other adults in class, so they celebrated Noah speaking. I had an instance in second grade this year. A student who is autistic but is mainstreamed, sat down next to his table partner (a girl) and out of the blue blurted "I think you are ugly, too." The entire school has been having anti-bullying sessions all year. One thing they have been taught is "Don't be a bystander, be an 'Upstander' and speak up for the bullied person." In this instance from around the room young voices chimed in saying things to the little girl about how she is pretty, how others like her, etc.All being "upstanders" because that is what they see others at school, especially their adults doing.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Mar 17
Sounds like everyone did the right thing. How did the grown-ups help the autistic child better understand helpful and less helpful things to say?
@vandana7 (100886)
• India
15 Mar 17
Yeah...princess always takes the peanuts or other eatables to her bro...it is so sweet to see her do that ..as if it is her duty and he is also caring...if she is crying for some reason, he is quick to help me out with saying no leave it, she is ok...like she suddenly got into her brain that she should be climbing the desk and sitting next to monitory...there are power switches so I was not allowing and now that she goes to the playschool she knows making cry sounds get her the attention...and her wishes get fulfilled. lol. But her bro was like no ..don't lift her from there, and then he tells her...look I am not sitting there...can you come down...atta is scared you will get shock..and she obeyed him...aw...he sure is smart.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Mar 17
Aw, that's so sweet!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
18 Mar 17
I think even the littlest ones can care abundantly if raised/taught in the right manner. I hope the little one starts talking more soon. That would be awesome. =)
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@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Mar 17
I'm confident. Yesterday, he was singing with me, though his words were not words.
@paigea (36315)
• Canada
18 Mar 17
I have always seen many examples of caring among toddlers. But usually when it didn't involve sharing what they wanted at that moment. lol
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 Mar 17
No, "mine" is a common word among toddlers. And sharing is not their specialty.
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@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
11 Mar 17
Kids are pretty much selfish by nature when they are that young, but it's amazing at the same time how much they also "get it." At least, that's how I've seen it.
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@TheHorse (221647)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Mar 17
I think they want to feel "in control," but also to know that their friends/sibs and caretakers are OK.
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@Kandae11 (55356)
20 Apr 17
That is good to know - having only one child -- there weren't many opportunities for me to notice that aspect. I can imagine how wonderful it felt to hear that 'no' for the first time.