Is He Your Dad?

@JudyEv I've noticed the wheelchair thing before when I used to take my paralysed friend out. They'd often ignore her to talk to me, even though she was a lot younger than me. I think women do perhaps age better than men - I've noticed a lot more elderly women pushing their husbands in wheelchairs, rather than the other way round.

@jaboUK Of course, people in wheelchairs are at a bit of a disadvantage as they are below eye-level so people tend to talk 'over' them. But it must be frustrating for them.

@jaboUK And another thing, women tend to marry men older than themselves and to me it seems that men's health often fails earlier.

@moffittjc As long as you can laugh about it, it's ok, but I think it's a tactless question.

@jaboUK I agree. People always just assume too much, without knowing the facts or details of every person's situation. I have noticed that it is not as bad these days as it used to be years ago, but it still happens nonetheless.

@moffittjc - My husband has sometimes taken our daughters out for dinner and been asked if our daughter was his wife! Our daughters are usually the ones who feel insulted when that happens!

@jaboUK I think you do this annually. Have fun and relax Janet.

@allknowing Yes, we're lucky that my husband isn't too sensitive. We'll be in Spain for another 3 weeks but I still manage to pop in most days. Some days I just get time to deal with my notifications though.

@allknowing Thank you Grace. That's what we're doing -relaxing.

@jaboUK I'm trying to teach him. He wasn't raised in this culture and his mother was always very blunt.

@bagarad Oh, that was a big no-no about taking his mom to lunch, and he should have known that you wouldn't find it funny. He obviously didn't mean to be offensive, but perhaps needs to learn a bit of tact, just like the woman who spoke about my husband.

@Lupita234 He has enough good points that I can accept what I can't change.

@WorDazza

@WorDazza Lol - he likes to wear that silly fez sometimes! You've hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph, that is so true.

@jaboUK Silly??? Oh Janet, what did he ever see in you??

@DianneN Yes, we laughed it off too, but some people may not have been able to do that.

@workathomefan No, he isn't, but I used to look much younger than I am.

Your husband is not old enough to be your dad.

@jaboUK You are welcome.

@silvermist Yes, she was rude, more in the manner of asking than the actual question. Just ignoring my husband like that. Thanks for liking the photo.

I have never been to Spain or anywhere outside the United States.

@jaboUK Wrong on so many levels.

@Juliaacv Yes it was very tactless of her, but the worse thing was just ignoring my husband.

@jaboUK Time by time she asks me if she looks her age or younger. When you are 30 who cares, you have all your life still to spend.

@LadyDuck She doesn't realise how young 30 really is.

@LadyDuck Yes, it was the ignoring of my husband that annoyed me more than the question itself. I'm glad that you were able to laugh with your niece over that incident.

@jaboUK

@AbbyGreenhill Yes, the 'look' might have been a good idea in these circumstances. Thanks for liking the photo

@amadeo We were both ok with this because we were able to laugh about it, but it could have been upsetting for someone in my husband's position.

@jaboUK yes,your right and could be upsetting for some

@MarshaMusselman People can think what they like, but they really should consider what they are saying before voicing it.

@jaboUK I see a lot of people shopping together. Some I wonder about silently and others I'll ask whether it's a sister or daughter. I have to figure out the best way to say it so that if I'm wrong they'll feel good about it, but sometimes that backfires too. With women there can be a ten or more year difference in ages and if the older one had a hard life the younger one could look more like a daughter than a sister. I used to wait on two older ladies and the one that looked older was actually younger, but I didn't guess it that way unless they prodded me to guess. They just laughed about it since it was common. One gal that came in was the sil of a good friend of mine from years ago. When I used to see her, the sil, I'd think it was my friend's mom. The sil would be offended. I think the brother was a bit older than my friend, but not twenty years older. Sometimes I'll get out of a situation by reminding people that if they had a child when they were under eighteen the ages could fit. Sometimes I just remember to keep my mouth shut.

@thelme55 Yes, it could have upset someone who wasn't so thick skinned.

@FayeHazel Yes, I suppose I should just consider her unthinking rather than rude.Thanks.

@jaboUK Sometimes I find people to be well meaning, but unthinking about how they come across - which can be quite rude but unintended ... :-)

@pumpkinjam I can understand you being a bit miffed at that person who asked if your partner was your son - sheesh! You are quite right about the wheelchair/pushchair thing. (Thanks for the compliment).

@youless You've hit the nail on the head - personal questions shouldn't be asked of strangers.

@xFiacre Yes, it's the 'does he take sugar' syndrome to think they leave their brains behind when they get into a wheelchair.

@Namelesss Yes, I do realise that it's ignorance most of the time when people don't know how to treat those in wheelchairs, that's why we were able to laugh about this incident. (And yes, we do laugh a lot!) I'm sorry to hear about your husband Elaine, I hope that he'll soon be well enough to be home with you again.

@VivaLaDani13 @Daljinder I see you are both in agreement with me on this issue

@Daljinder Exactly! Actually Sara used to get that a lot in school. They would ask me a question about her even though she was standing right next to me. It was weird. I wonder if Sara remembers that.

@VivaLaDani13 Its always a bad manners to talk about third person to second person in their presence. Why not ask them directly? They are sitting right there.

@teamfreak16 Glad you agree, thanks.