“Don’t patronize me!”
By ingrid
@ridingbet (66854)
Philippines
March 22, 2017 4:55am CST
This was what I told to a colleague who ignored me when I was talking to her. It seems she believes the other colleagues are closer to her than me. She would always talk to them, showing off her family’s achievements and her being good to her students when in fact, her students gave her failing evaluation marks. (She pinches them secretly when they cannot answer her questions-these are confirmed by the students).
My colleagues, though they dislike doing it, smirk behind her back. Me? I give a stoic face- emotionless.
Last Tuesday, as usual, I came the earliest again for the grand case colloquium, and then this colleague came. I did not mind her at all, until she broke the ice and greeted me. I responded, but I think I will be civil to her from then and now on.
I don’t like to say this, but she is separating herself from us, her colleagues. She thinks highly of herself. Two of my colleagues uttered to me, “Mamu, I am nearing my boiling point. I might explode!”
What is your reaction when you have a friend or a co-worker like this?
N.B:
She is one of my colleagues in the picture.
17 people like this
22 responses
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet You may petition her to the dean..to disfranchise her as a teacher there,
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@cacay1 i would not do that. even though the dean talked to her because he has failing mark from the evaluation of the students, she and the dean are close friends.
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
the thing is, she keeps her personality always on top with her sarcastic smiles and pride. but youa are right; better to ignore this person.
2 people like this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet Uy, she should not be given load to that area, she is weak physically .
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
yes, but i still doubt that. she volunteered herself to undergo the operating room training because she expects to be given a workload in the OR, but basing from a male CI who is an OR instructor, he said this colleague will not endure the rigors and strenuous activities in the operating room.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
I just do not mind this kind of colleague in my life.
I do not need the negativity.
3 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
i agree. i am now trying to avoid this colleague, but she seems to be approaching me now, that i accepted her presence again. by the way, she did not apologize as of yet
2 people like this
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet I wouldn't wait for the apology.
@cacay1 true!
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
22 Mar 17
There is at least one such person in every work situation . Ignoring her is best. Pinching students if she did that here it is an assault and she can end up in jail.
3 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
indeed. that is a reason too, why she gate failing mark from students when they evaluate us their instructors
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@cacay1 so, if you were me, my friend, how could you stop her arrogance when you act in a civil manner to her now?
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet Maybe that person is sick mentally and has hyper history.
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
i so agree with you. and why should she be insecure and jealous of me? is it because i come on duty early and i have a good working relationship with my students?
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
24 Mar 17
@ridingbet I would do the same. Nasty woman!
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
yes, my dear. now, i am conditioning my mind to not be close to her anymore.
i am a good friend, but when somebody steps on me, i will just ignore her existence in my life.
2 people like this
@Nawsheen (28643)
• Mauritius
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet oh yes this i can understand she must make efforts too. Its not always so good to be so proud of oneself like your colleague is. I hope she realises that whatever she is doing is not right
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
well, i can adjust my attitude when somebody does not acknowledge me, my friend. but i am not doing the first move to approach her, no way!
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
24 Mar 17
@Nawsheen i really hope she changes for the better. i think her attitude now is becoming worse.
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 17
There are a few of my co-workers who are like that but it's best to ignore. There are always two side of a story or a character. Just because I see her like that, doesn't mean she is like that. I might be wrong about her. That's why I never say anything.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
true, but we know her fully well, my friend, and yes, she is boastful and a braggart
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@cacay1 that attitude problem i believe is already embedded in her personality.
1 person likes this
@luisadannointed (6329)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
I can't distinguished her on the picture... Maybe the one who is sitting down... Kidding.. Anyway there are people who really think highly of themselves. Don't get bother by her in the future and always open your warm hearts for them but be wise to avoid their bites... It is dangerous... Funny but true. God bless.
3 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
no, she is not the one seated. that lady is our clinical coordinator. if she is the person i am referring to here, i should not be near her.
1 person likes this
@serubhai1 (203)
• India
22 Mar 17
Hi,
Sorry but I think you are way off base here. How can a person patronize you by ignoring you or pretending not to have heard you in a conversation? Patronizing is not a reactive action but is a proactive action. Your friend would have been patronizing you had she been giving you unsolicited advice about what you're doing wrong and what you need to do to get back your life to the right track, wadda-wadda-wadda.
Sorry again but if someone is ignoring you or pretending not to hear you etc i.e. doing anything reactive which is offensive to you, he or she is not " patronizing". That's not what patronizing means.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
@sehubhai1 and @MALUSE she says highly of herself, she thinks she is the most intelligent among us colleagues. that is patronizing to me. just like condescending.
there are a lot more that would explain why i use the word patronizing, but i am just limiting my discussion as this short.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
22 Mar 17
@ridingbet 
,that is Philippine English usage.
,that is Philippine English usage.2 people like this
@Letranknight2015 (52079)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
She's only hurting herself. My mom being a president of two organizations, I often hear he heartache complains about members dissing and bad mouthing her. Not to mention the same thing your co worker is doing. they suffered in the end, and she is lying to herself only to make you made and draw to her level.
3 people like this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@Letranknight2015, They are like black sheep.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
that is right. i definitely will not stoop down to her level.
funny, she should treat me as an 'elderly' now because of our age gap, but the envy in her system is slowly eating her up.
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet , she might be a problematic person that is why she acted that way.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
she was absent last Monday, and last Tuesday, she greeted me. but she made another blunder again when i acknowledged her, and now, i am communicating with one of my colleagues and telling her my disgust and dismay about this person.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472074)
• Switzerland
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet It's a shame when a colleague acts like that one.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
no, my friend. the one seated is our clinical coordinator. Ms. LC is so fond of me, that she sometimes calls me Mamu (mother). she confines in me when she has problems with my other colleagues.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@LadyDuck indeed, the colleague of mine is so childish to act like that
2 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
22 Mar 17
I wouldn't have a friend like that, I am afraid I wouldn't be as nice as you are, I would ignore her
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
we were friends for more than 5 years now. i wonder why she is trying to ignore me, maybe out of envy or jealousy to a seasoned lady like me?
2 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet Sometimes we never figure that out. It's her problem I think Ingrid.
2 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
20 Apr 17
I am usually polite and well polite as I can be.
There are people like that here that have that high and mighty attitude and I just ignore them.
But if you work with them also it must have you near boiling point for sure.
Seems pretty stressful for you all to have to work like that.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Apr 17
@ridingbet
What a carry on to have to put up with.
As if its not stressful enough working in that kind of atmosphere.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
21 Apr 17
yes that is true. i believe there are but a few here who are patronizing as well. and i know one who i won't comment back anymore because this person is somehow rude and a know-it-all kind.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
22 Apr 17
@lovinangelsinstead21 indeed. and i do not know now how to interact with this member because he/she seems to intimidate me, as if to the point of putting me down. my patience is tested here. i do not want to block anybody; i just have to ignore this person now.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
28 Mar 17
@ridingbet So, who amongst those others?
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
27 Mar 17
no my lady. that one seated is our level coordinator and she is a sweet lady, although at times, she stares blankly at us. i made discussions about her before.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
28 Mar 17
@SIMPLYD she is one in the left, my lady. my left...
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
22 Mar 17
There are really co worker like her feeling all knowing..just do not mind her,leave her alone. let her realize her arrogance.I have a co teacher too like her what I did I never looked at her face and never talked to her until she finally approached me and talked nonsense and just smiled nonsense sense hahaha.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83577)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@ridingbet Just answer her but never talk to her that longer for I sense that person is a back biter.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
she finally approached me last Tuesday, my friend, but i nodded and acknowledged her 'existence'. that is the last straw that broke the camel's back.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@cacay1 yes, i found out about that attitude during that time that we did not talk to each other.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
22 Mar 17
If you are working with them you clearly have to make it work, but I do tend to hold myself back from someone like this.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
i will do that for sure. after all, we have many colleagues to relate to and be friends as well.
1 person likes this
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
There's always like that in a company or group. If you have the patience to deal with her, well that's one good way of being with her. But if you can tell it to her, the best way to do.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
by now maybe, you know a bit of my attitude based on my comments, kabsat. i guess that is a typical Ilocano attitude. we are faithful friends but beware when one hurts our ego. it will be a non-existent atmosphere.
1 person likes this
@Paljas (146)
• South Africa
23 Mar 17
Her behaviour reminds me again why I dislike people who think they are superior to others. My advice is to show her some love. People are usually shocked when the reaction they get is not one which they have expected and can change the way they interact with you.
2 people like this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
i would like to be good and nice to her, but she has the attitude of always stepping on other's toes, and that is what i don't like in her.
