What would you do if you found out he's cheating?
By Bobbie_furr
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
March 22, 2017 10:33pm CST
I couldn't help but think of it. Last night while I was finishing the last round of my work, I attempted to access my own facebook account in a laptop I am using. This laptop by the way is not mine but my boyfriend's work laptop. I just had to barrow it because mine crashed. I mostly do my facebook on my phone or my tablet but I dont know why my hands typed facebook.com in the browser of the laptop. Walah! Facebook came up. Logged in. But not mine. In short, there's a facebook account that's remembered in the computer. Now, this was an old facebook account of my boyfriend which he claims he no longer access because he couldnt remember the password. So there, to my surprise, I saw it. Curiousity brought me to browsing. I know its bad, but hey, he's not just my boyfriend but my fiance already. Date's already arranged for the big day in December.
Anyway, going back, I went to the messages section. And I found a few conversations saying the girl will be leaving her husband and mine responded to it with, tell me when are you coming over to the central district so I could prepare . To my surprise, the succeeding topics were "S*X". This actually froze me given he had history of this 8 years ago. I didn't want to speculate but.... Actually, I dont know. My heart is already bleeding. And I am nearly tired.
6 people like this
10 responses
@aeisle (377)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
Communication will always be the key, so you have to talk to him about it. Although there is this cheater's mindset that says, "Never admit it, even if you are already caught in the act". He can deny or admit it depending on him but either way, it will be better that you could let him know that you know something. Now, if you cannot trust him anymore and will always have doubts, then you will surely have a miserable relationship in the future because TRUST is one of the foundations of a strong and happy relationship.
Just remember that nobody deserves to be cheated on. Some people gets cheated repeatedly because they already accepted it as their reality. They feel like they have to sacrifice to keep the relationship, or that's just how people are so whats happening is just normal, and worse, they feel that this is what they deserve.
What's most important is if it will make you happier, because you have to love yourself first before you can love others. Forget what other people may say, and never sacrifice yourself just to please them.
4 people like this
@aeisle (377)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
I know it's hard but yes, you really have to discuss this when you are calm because decision made when angry are often being regretted later. It may take some time though but I hope you can do it before your big day. Just don't pressure yourself as well for the consequences of your decision by the time you need to have one especially if its only about the people around you.
3 people like this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
I cant talk to him yet because I am still angry. Maybe when I am calm. I dont want to throw anything I might regret after. But yes, you do have a very good point. Trust is indeed important. I will talk to him soon. When the sea is quite. Thank you @aeisle
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37355)
• Toccoa, Georgia
24 Mar 17
You probably should end the relationship.
3 people like this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
24 Mar 17
I think I am leaning towards that route. I just need sometime for myself. At least a moment of silence for now. hahaha.. Bags are ready anyway, gotta have to enjoy my summer for a bit.
@Letranknight2015 (51969)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
Call the wedding off, saves you the trouble in the future. I can tell he's not being loyal to you.
It might hurt you now, but it saves you future heart aches as he will continue to cheat.
2 people like this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
24 Mar 17
I dont know actually. I thought of that too. There's a lot of buts and ifs in my head. Anyway, I still have lots of time to think before that day comes. And I hope I will be able to make a decision before that happens. Thank you @Letranknight2015
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
23 Mar 17
Were the messages from 8 years ago or ? I'm tad confused with that part.. but have you talked to him about it?
2 people like this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
No @Courtlynn . The messages where just last week of Feb. This year. I felt numb after I saw it.
@Letranknight2015 (51969)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@homebasedbobbie No, that's a sign that he's cheating. Save yourself, end the relationship before it's too late.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
23 Mar 17
@homebasedbobbie im so sorry to hear that. Id talk to him
1 person likes this
@rina110383 (24492)
•
23 Mar 17
Not in a relationship right now. But if I am and I caught him cheating, I'll immediately end the relationship and all forms of communication between us.
2 people like this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
Aw! That was the first thing I thought about too. But I had to consider several situations. Although it is really not good to dwell on a not healthy relationship wherein your other half is cheating on you while you devote your life for him/her.
1 person likes this
@GegeTheMechanic (1060)
• Finland
23 Mar 17
Sorry to hear that. You should tell him what you saw and discuss about it. That feeling you have now won't go away until you heard what he have to say about it and it don't help that now you just thinking why. You deserve to have explanation
2 people like this
@GegeTheMechanic (1060)
• Finland
23 Mar 17
@homebasedbobbie maybe he didn't think you would go to facebook but I can't be sure about it. Do you want to get married to somebody who is doing that behind your back? I have divorced once and it's not nice so I'm just giving you advice and talk to you man. Communication is very important and also trust.
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
@GegeTheMechanic Maybe I will talk to him about it soon. I just dont have the strength to ask him yet. I still have the anger inside me. I'll wait till I calm down. And yes, you are right, communication and trust is needed. Apparently the only way to clear things out and live with a clean mind and heart.
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
Thanks for your concern @GegeTheMechanic You know, I was to do that, until I realized that he's good at denying things. So I wont bother asking nor talk to him about it anymore. I know that he knows. Because if it was his intention to hide it, then he would have cleared his laptop before letting me use it. Right?
@Nawsheen (28643)
• Mauritius
12 May 17
@homebasedbobbie that is good hear. Better remain far away from this betrayer
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
11 May 17
good thing few friends helped me. Yes, honestly, I am out of his sight. and guess what, I've never felt as free as this. I am happier actually.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (139937)
• Philippines
26 Mar 17
@homebasedbobbie I am sorry to hear that. Guys sometimes don't want to admit their faults. You need to secure your heart.
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
26 Mar 17
@Shavkat I guess that's the next thing to do. I seem to ran out of options or I leave my heart bleeding all the time.
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
26 Mar 17
@Shavkat he is not talking about it. He denied it actually. And I am tired of being patient and I am so much tired of lies.
1 person likes this
@shantalclay (623)
• Baguio, Philippines
23 Mar 17
I never been into that kind of situation but I know it's very hard on your part. I don't know what to say, I'm just hoping you will be fine.
1 person likes this
@shantalclay (623)
• Baguio, Philippines
23 Mar 17
@homebasedbobbie Better man will knock on the door of your heart soon. 
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
23 Mar 17
@shantalclay ahahahahha I'd say we wait for it together.. lol.
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (17817)
• India
16 Apr 17
@homebasedbobbie great.!
But i know it's hurting still.
I've a sad past too
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
16 Apr 17
@ShifaLk Yeah. I hope pain gets away soon.
Really? I hope it is not as bad as mine?
1 person likes this
@homebasedbobbie (1080)
•
13 Apr 17
I agree with you @ShifaLK . It's just gonna hurt even more. I am on the process of moving on already. And yes, I have made my decision. I have let go.
1 person likes this
