She is 90 years of age but still wants not be dependent.

@sjvg1976 (41290)
Delhi, India
March 25, 2017 10:30pm CST
Hello friends, my father's sister is of 90 years and still she lives alone. Unlike US here in India old age homes are not so common. She was married at the age of 14 years but her husband died within 2~3 months and ours being an orthodox family she was not married again. She spent her 5~6 years of her life at in-laws house then permanently shifted to her parents house and spent her most of the life there but when parents were no more alive she chose to live alone instead of living with any of her brother. I feel pity on her as now she can't walk properly . I have asked her to come to our house and love with us for her rest of life but she doesn't like an idea . Recently she came to my house and spent 3 months here and was upset when was going back and said to my wife that she doesn't want to go back but she will have to go. I am worried how she is going to live but she is living . I talk to her over phone daily to know how she is. Hope so she lives long and come back to us to live with us for rest of her life.
11 people like this
14 responses
@mgeet111 (30)
26 Mar 17
Admire the strong will of this senior citizen. There are those,who like to depend on others,even when fit,who could take inspiration too. One thing bit puzzling is,when both of you have no problem if she lives in your home,why cant you persuade her to live with your family,permanently.If you cannot do so,present situation is best.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Actually I live in a joint family and she has some indifference with my father may be that's the reason she is hesitating to live with us permanently.
1 person likes this
@cleomich (569)
26 Mar 17
that will be a good thing to do
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (140093)
• Roseburg, Oregon
26 Mar 17
As long as she is doing ok on her own than she is good. Just keep in touch with her.
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Yes we have asked her to stay at her house and are in touch of her daily over phone
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
26 Mar 17
I think you can install a CCTV in her living room or kitchen. If you do not see her there, you can call her to ask if she is all right. I hope that she has a mobile phone, so that she can call for help anytime she needs help.,
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
She doesn't own a house she lives in a rented house that too in outskirts where electricity is supplied for 6~8 hours a day.
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
26 Mar 17
@sjvg1976 My goodness, I sure hope that her landlord can keep an eye on her. The landlord surely does not want her to get injured.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
@scheng1 that's true and her land Lord keep an eye on her but still he can't stay with her for whole day.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (140129)
• Philippines
26 Mar 17
My granny is still living partially not dependent in her house. She managed things up partially independently with assistance.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
That's great . Although her land Lord keep an eye on her still I feel she needs to come to her house.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
@Shavkat she has no family. She got widow at the age of 14 years she no one live with except children of her 4 brothers .
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (140129)
• Philippines
26 Mar 17
@sjvg1976 But it is better if her immediate family will look after.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472124)
• Switzerland
26 Mar 17
I know how you feel, my Mom is 96 years old and she does not want to live with me or my brother. She wants to stay alone in her apartment.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
But that's not good as elderly people have lots of problems so they should not stay alone.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
@LadyDuck we can't compel them to stay with us that's a real problem. We know that they are risking their life still we can not make them stay with us.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472124)
• Switzerland
26 Mar 17
@sjvg1976 I know, she is stubborn, she does not want to live with us, she want to stay alone.
1 person likes this
@pammooratan (4668)
• India
26 Mar 17
Some people prefer self respect and not to like live with others.
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Yes that may be the reason she doesn't want to live with anyone.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
27 Mar 17
Even here in the US people just don't want to up and move. It is hard to when they are so independent. All you can do is be there show them you care and be willing to help out if needed.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
27 Mar 17
May be the reason. I often visit her house as she lives around 100 kms from my place so it's not possible to go to her so frequently but still we talk to talk almost once a day over phone
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
26 Mar 17
I don't understand. Why did she have to go back if she didn't want to? Can't she stay? Is it a custom for that?
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
No outs not a custom. Actually she doesn't want to be dependent on anyone so she was keen to go back.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (138001)
• India
26 Mar 17
You and your wife are great people that you are willing to have an old person in our life. These days we hardly come across such couples
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Yes these days people don't care for old people and left them alone and homeless and helpless
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
27 Mar 17
I think it's her way of keeping her dignity intact- to live alone than living with relatives and feel that she is a burden. Maybe when she finally can't move anymore, then she have no choice but to ask for your help. Yes, just keep calling her as to how she is.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
27 Mar 17
@sjvg1976 Just try to understand her.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
27 Mar 17
That's the main reason she thinks she will be a burden for us so she doesn't want to come to us.
1 person likes this
@anushreem (333)
• Mumbai, India
27 Mar 17
I can understand your emotion. At that age if she wish to live on her own then a respect for her will power however you should always be in touch with her and make sure to pamper her with things she like. She has not seen happiness throughout her life, make sure she is happy by whatever way possible. You will be blessed forever.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
28 Mar 17
Yes that's the reason I want her to come to us to live as I know she has not seen happiness in her life. Yes I am in touch with her daily through phone
1 person likes this
@paigea (36315)
• Canada
28 Mar 17
She is doing very well to still be living on her own. Sounds like she would be better off with you though!
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
29 Mar 17
She is doing fine but still I am worried for her as now she has not that much as she used to have few years back
1 person likes this
@Shwetasingh (1333)
26 Mar 17
Wow you are a good person. Defiantly we should help our elders as much as we can. But actually time has made her very strong now she will never like to stay with somebody as she doesn't want to trouble you. But try to convince her.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Yes that's the main reason she thinks she will disturb our privacy and will trouble us but that's not the case actually. I have tried to convince her many times but she is reluctant.
@cleomich (569)
26 Mar 17
wow. thank God for long life. she will surely need help if she wants to continue living alone
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Mar 17
Yes she needs someone assistance now as she is too old to do her daily works alone.