Should I tell the other woman's husband about his wife cheating?
By Ellie
@ellie26 (4139)
Malaysia
March 30, 2017 1:44pm CST
My boyfriend and I has been together for a year. The first 6 months was great but the few months after was a roller coaster ride!
When I met my boyfriend, he said he was single and had not been in a relationship for many years. I trusted and believed him until this other married woman came into the picture. She didn't tell me he was her boyfriend but rather telling me that they have been going out and very close. I confronted my boyfriend about her and of course, he flatly denied it. This is a woman who is married with grown up kids.
By chance, I got hold of my boyfriend's handphone and reading all the messages between then, that was when I knew she and my boyfriend indeed had a relationship. I was determined to stay on the relationship and decided to call the woman to tell her to back off. She promised not to bother my boyfriend again.
But that only last for a few months when I suspected they are in contact again. I told my boyfriend if he still continue talking to her then I would tell her husband about them. My boyfriend said he is not in contact with her but with modern technology, it is very possible to know who and who is online chatting!
Part of me want to confront the woman and another part of me want to tell the husband about his wife secret life. I love my boyfriend so much and this woman is very adamant to want to win him back. Her family pictures are all over her fb profile and she potraying herself as a good woman and yet she is not!
Should I or should I not proceed with my intention?
4 people like this
7 responses
@Blushandglow (725)
• India
30 Mar 17
To be very honest you should consider leaving your boyfriend. Its not that other women who is a threat to your relationship, but its your boyfriend. Relationships are based on trust and if your boyfriend cant stay loyal to you and keep on breaking your trust, I say, its not worth it.
This is just my view point. Please think about it and take your decision.
I wish you all the best.
5 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
30 Mar 17
I know you love your boyfriend but are you prepared to live like that. They are clearly going to be together no matter what. You have already confronted both of them and it didn't change things. You can not trust somebody who is not faithful to you. You deserve better.
It is sad that she is married and doing the same thing to her husband. Telling her husband may give you a sense of satisfaction but I really don't think it will change things between your boyfriend and her. What if he decides to leave you for her? That could happen.
4 people like this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 17
Thank you for your response. I don't think he would leave me for her because he is also friend with the husband. The thing is for some stupid reasons, I am not ready to leave him or rather not willing to let him go. I guess if he left me for another woman, I think I can handle it. I have this evil thoughts that if she destroyed my relationship then I will destroy hers too. I thought of confronting her once more and give her a warning of what I will do if she refused to back off.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
30 Mar 17
To be honest and fair. She may not be a "good woman" like she portrays online, but your boyfriend obviously isn't a "good man" if he's going to cheat. And you honestly shouldn't worry about the other woman, and telling her husband as you obviously have your own relationship probems to worry about.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 17
As of right this moment, I don't consider myself having relationship problems. I am dealing with a woman and a man who doesn't see an issue in their encounter. People like this should be exposed and dealt with. Giving the woman back what she deserve and that is a big lesson from the husband!. The goody two shoe image she is potraying or pretending to be will change to a cheating wife, a relationship destroyer, not a good mother and ultimately, she will have so much explanation to do to his friends, family and children.
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 17
@Courtlynn oh yes both are the problem but SHE is the biggest problem. From the messages I read between them, it was obvious my man wanted to end the relationship with her but she was begging him not to end it. She told him she didnt want to lose him and that she had been crying non stop. It is wrong for my man to open communication with her again behind my back for whatever reasons. But I am not also going to let her get away so easily.
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
31 Mar 17
@ellie26 but you talk as if SHE is the problem and who needs to be checked. When in fact its your man that is more in the wrong and is the problem and needs to be checked. Obviously they have feelings. They need to be left by both you and husband and deserve to have each others cheating butts.
1 person likes this
@pammooratan (4668)
• India
30 Mar 17
You should leave your boyfriend. Don't try to revenge any type to a body.Often it be not good for everyone. You should forget all about this and start life in a new way.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 17
I want to forget but not just yet. I just feel like I want to tell the husband about his wife. I know by doing so I either get my relationship on track or I lose my boyfriend. That the risk I am willing to take for I am not willing to let the other woman feel happy winning my boyfriend. If she thought she can just destroy a relationship and have an affair behind her husband back, she wished! I want to teach her a good lesson!
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 17
@pammooratan Its true what you say. Any harm coming to me after and if I proceed with my intention will link directly to her. This is because I have confided to people I trusted about this matter and well yes, they too advice me of the same. I have proof and that is why I am considering telling her husband so he would teach her a lesson, whatever that is, I don't really care. The point here is that I want other women who are in similar situation as I am expose the mistress. I believe in that way the cheating, infidelity will be reduced and trust issues will be solved. Couples will have beautiful relationships. No more hurting wife/husband, ruin relationships or robbing children happiness and future. I don't wait for karma, I will be the karma...hehehe
@pammooratan (4668)
• India
30 Mar 17
@ellie26 Don't do this. I think that may be dangerous for you also.
What proof you will give?
Massege are not proof any body can make fake massege.
Why you want your boyfriend back?
You don't want to be defeated.But in life some times defeat is more good than winning.
You don't think about any thing related to this matter.
Go some where and get some change.
After that start a new life new relationship.
That would be good for you.
Forget about telling her hhusband.Suppose..when that lady would know that you have told about her to her husband. She would also be ready to take revenge.As you mentioned she has other relationship beyond her husband. Then there will be others also except you'd boyfriend. With them she can do any harm to you.
2 people like this
@ponderingoe (51)
• United States
31 Mar 17
So sorry you are going through this! Of course, its up to you to decide, but my thought is, if you tell her husband, he may kick her out and end their marriage. I know, that is what you want to see happen. But if that does happen, then she will be a "free" woman then, and your boyfriend may decide to leave you for her, so you will have lost him anyhow. I see no good outcome from this relationship, its totally a lose-lose situation, no matter what you do or don't do. Either way, you are the one who ends up with the broken heart. Eventually, the right guy will come along and you'll forget all about him. You just have to give it time. You really do deserve better than a man who you will never be able to trust again. I wish you wisdom in making your decision.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 17
really appreciate your view and thought on this. I know if I proceed with my intention, it doesn't guarantee my relationship will survive. But for me, to be able to expose this woman infidelity to her husband and whatever happen after that is a 'medicine' for my 'heartache'. I will take the risk of losing him but I get the satisfaction that even if he chose her over me, the history behind how they got together will haunt them forever. And I am very sure judging from this woman behavior, it will not take long before history repeating itself.
1 person likes this
