My strangest experience with racism. Have you ever experienced anything like this?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (220267)
Walnut Creek, California
April 9, 2017 2:57pm CST
A fellow MyLotter wrote a post a week or two ago about an experience she had with an insensitive woman who said, basically, "All white people look the same to me." She took it as a racist comment, and I wondered if it was, or if the offending woman might have been joking.
Racism is a hot topic these days, but I live and work in multi-cultural California, so on a day-to-day day basis, I don't experience much racism. My friends, teammates, band mates, colleagues, students, clients, and neighbors are white, black, Filipino, Indian, East Asian and Latino. Yes, I've experienced some, and witnessed some, but I'll save my California experiences for another post.
My strangest experience with racism occurred in Atlanta, at Hartsfield International Airport. I was looking for a baggage claim, and approached a black man in uniform. His job was to help people find baggage claims, gates, etc. He was talking to another man, also black, so I waited for a few seconds before asking him for help.
When I heard that they were talking about the weather, I said, "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where the baggage claim is for (I think it was United)?" His response was "Can't you see I'm talking to someone?" I was surprised by the rudeness of his response, but I was not in a rush, so I decided to wait and see how long he would make me wait.
After about three minutes (it felt like ten), I walked away and approached a white man in a similar uniform. He was talking to a white man. He turned toward me as I approached him, and I said "Sorry to interrupt..." and he laughed and said "No problem! How can I help you?" I asked the same question and was directed to the proper baggage claim.
As I was walking to the baggage claim I wondered if I had been rendered naive by living in California (I grew up mostly in Chicago). Was there still an unspoken code in the South that blacks help blacks and whites help whites? Almost as an experiment, I struck up a conversation with a black lady at the baggage claim. We yapped away while waiting for our bags, and it turned out that she was originally from Chicago too. That led to further conversation, interspersed with laughter, about favorite restaurants, family, and such like.
To this day, I'm still not sure how race relations are different in the North versus the South of the United States. The black lady from Chicago (a Northern city) viewed me as a fellow human waiting for our bags. But the guy in uniform literally refused to help me, choosing to discuss the weather with a black man over "doing his job" with a white man.
What kinds of experiences have you had with racism? I'm especially interested in responses from American Southerners (maybe my experience was unusual), but I'm also interested in how racism rears its ugly head in other parts of the United States, and in other countries.
39 people like this
38 responses
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
9 Apr 17
It sounds as if the baggage handler might have experienced mistreatment from white people who saw him as a servant. Some people treat others horribly when they are in uniform no matter what race anyone is.
The only negative experience I have ever had concerning race was when I was 6 or 7. This boy and I liked each other and he happened to be black, I was white. This was in '61 or '62. They kept separating us at recess and moved our desks away and still we did not understand. One day he brought a beautiful rhinestone bracelet to school and gave it to me. It was way too big but I was thrilled! Within an hour the teacher took him to the principal's office after ripping the bracelet off my wrist (thank goodness it did not break!) and he got a bad whipping. They could do that back then.
Not only was it his mom's bracelet, the teacher told me as she took me, too, to the principal that he wasn't "your kind". Well, my mom was called and she got there and I have never seen her red in the face from anger before or since. I was sent out and I could see her talking to that man and he just sat there and said nothing. She took me home and told me about how people were ignorant and disliked each other for nothing except their different coloring.
My sister said she gave that principal "what for" and threatened him that if he ever exposed me to his ignorant hillbilly bigotry ever again she would see that he never worked with children again. She repeated the same to my teacher. That made quite an impression on me.
9 people like this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
9 Apr 17
@TheHorse This was in Ohio. My mom was raised by free thinkers while my dad was raised by what we would today call bigots. I got lucky with my mom and her family!
6 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Apr 17
@dragon54u Interesting. My parents were both Liberals. I had an Uncle who was "Conservative," but he wasn't racist.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Apr 17
Where in the US was this? When I was 6 or 7, I lived in California, before moving to Chicago. I'd have been surprised if something like that had happened here. I'm glad your mom stood up for what's right. My parents would have done the same.
5 people like this
@RasmaSandra (80784)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
9 Apr 17
I have seen many people being rude toward people of different nationalities and skin colors. However I am glad to say I have never experience a direct unpleasant happening. The thing I note about people is if they are easy to talk to and to approach or not. I have always looked at things that we are all of one race the human race so we should all get along.
8 people like this
@sallypup (61636)
• Centralia, Washington
9 Apr 17
@TheHorse Your brain runs like mine does but lots of others don't when it comes to a blind person. Let's see. In one elementary school that I went to I was the only white kid. Not joking: the other kids tried to get me to run in front of a city bus. I ran over and walked with an elderly white lady for shelter. And the other kids were allowed to play dodge ball with a ball that was hard as a rock. Then later some Native American kids tried to drown my daughter. She pretended to be deceased and they left her alone enough for her to get away. Stuff like that. My husband had an engineering degree. Took him twenty years to get decent work- and he had to get a Master's degree to get it. Help, yes, like you would a toddler. Treat him like an equal?? Not so much.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Apr 17
What kinds of things happened? As for your husband, I'd think people would want to help a sightless individual. I had a blind roommate in college. We became good friends. We had our pattern. I'd only help him with stuff when he needed it.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@sallypup Where was the school where you were the only white kid?
As for your husband, I understand. A fellow Grad Student at UCSB had severe CP, and was working toward her Ph.D. in Psychology. When we were out and about, some people would treat her as if she were a child. Until she spoke.
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
9 Apr 17
Thirty years ago I was attending a conference in Biloxi. Most of the attendees were local....some black...some white. My youngest daughter was three and and white blonde curls. The black woman behind me (Our children played as all children do), asked me if she could touch my daughters hair. Then we spoke at length. Skin color wasn't an issue. Was this the norm...I treat each person I meet with respect.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Apr 17
I had a girlfriend several years ago who had VERY blonde hair (it was real). When we'd go to Asian restaurants, occasionally (but more than once) some of the workers would be fascinated by her hair. Some would ask if they could touch it. She said yes. Same thing. No disrespect implied. Just fascination with different looks, etc. When I worked in Oakland, I noticed that my black client families would spend time braiding each others' hair. It was a bonding thing. When my hair was longer, some of my black little girl clients would braid my hair and give me little pony tails while their moms laughed. Again, nothing mean. Just having fun and celebrating differences.
6 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
9 Apr 17
@TheHorse my hair was naturally that true whit blonde when I was a teen...my granddaughter and my daughter inlaw also share that almost unnatural looking colour.
5 people like this
@JudyEv (342145)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Apr 17
@Morleyhunt @TheHorse Egytians too are fascinated by blonde hair and believe it is good luck to touch such hair. Our niece is very blond and tall and when we went to Egypt in 1998 for her sister's wedding (to a Muslim) Vince (uncles are often the go-between in marriage deals) was offered 1,000 camels for her or 'just name your price, name your price'. It was quite frightening in a way to see how women could be traded - which is getting away from the racism bit. But being blond was a great attraction to them.
7 people like this
@Mike197602 (15512)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 17
Not an american southerner so I'll keep it short
I had a girlfriend when I was in a college doing business studies.
She was of indian heritage and I was/still am white...her family found out and it got nasty.
Non white people can be just as racist as white people...that thing still pisses me off to this day
I had a girlfriend when I was in a college doing business studies.
She was of indian heritage and I was/still am white...her family found out and it got nasty.
Non white people can be just as racist as white people...that thing still pisses me off to this day6 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@Mike197602 Understatement is one of my many gifts.
5 people like this
@Mike197602 (15512)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 17
@TheHorse found it difficult is an understatement
4 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Apr 17
once years bvack I wor ked as a nurses aide on call so I was sent to this hospital along with a very pretty negro girl ?She let me know at once she did not take any pushing around from you white bad word women. I assured her I was not racist and the next time we worked together i n a different place she was very sweet to me and friendly so I guess I did something right for a white bad word woman lol.
6 people like this
@celticeagle (168327)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Apr 17
I live in southwestern Idaho and I don't recall having any racial experience here. Now in Northern Idaho we have the White Supremacists. They are a whole different matter.
5 people like this
@celticeagle (168327)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Apr 17
@TheHorse ....It's a beautiful area. The White Supremacists are in the mountains while the artists are more down at the lakes and resort areas. The WS don't show themselves much. Infact, I've never seen them except on tv.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Jul 17
@celticeagle Are they really there? Are they great in numbers? Inquiring minds want to know.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100603)
• India
11 Apr 17
I am a brownie...dark brownie...so what. I have great sense of humor, I think. Attitudes towards color of my skin or looks don't bother me as much as people who know me behaving as if I sinned by not marrying and not having kids. They know how much of responsibility I have taken. Discrimination based on that is annoying frustrating like an unbreakable glass wall against which you can do nothing. Even strangers joke about me not having kids...heck there should be laws against that...
5 people like this
@vandana7 (100603)
• India
19 Nov 17
@TheHorse .. I am comfortable in my skin...that is the problem. I don't want to be fair because of some powders or creams. If I am not fair, I am not...it is my characteristic. I may be good at something, which you bleached from inside out folks are not...evil grin.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Apr 17
But there are "lightening creams" in India aren't there? And here in the US, light skinned black Americans used to be snobby toward dark skinned American blacks. Now, the worm may have turned. A (black) friend of mine's daughter was discriminated against at an all-black University for being too white!
4 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Nov 17
@vandana7 Please don't offend my delicate sensibilities. I prefer "people of pallor." I learn about Indian standards of beauty when I watch those silly Bollywood videos at my Indian restaurant. They sing, with poor overdubbing, in some beautiful place. He tries to kiss her. She turns away. Repeat as necessary. They look like they're trying to look like Americans...10 years ago. Heh.
3 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
9 Apr 17
I think it depends on the person! I have encountered nice people, mean people, all sorts! When I visited Indiana several years ago, everyone was all nice because it looked as if I was the only Asian person!
4 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
10 Apr 17
@TheHorse I was stalked by an American man at the library. He then gave me a note and his phone number. But there were more African American people. I didn't see any asians when I went!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@infatuatedbby What did the white guy at the library look like? Was he dressed normally? I'm glad nothing bad happened. Did you have someone come to leave with you (for your safety)?
3 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
10 Apr 17
My white son-in-law is very dark-skinned, and someone referred to him as being 'coloured' in his mother's hearing. She practically went through the roof, saying "I've never been with a black man in my life!" If it had been my son I wouldn't have taken offence, merely laughed. That's my only experience of racism, if it could be called that.
5 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
9 Apr 17
It could have just been that man, that day, but it was not right. I have, thankfully, never lived in the deep South, but was in Texas as a kid. There was plenty of racism in my family, but I was not subjected to any as a white kid.
5 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
10 Apr 17
@TheHorse No you can't. I had to learn that on my own, since I was taught the wrong thing by example growing up.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@RubyHawk I think it may be a "class" thing. I feel like many of those who are the most prejudiced are lower class, be they (to use vulgar terms) "ghetto" or "white trash." That said, most of my poor white friends in Montana aren't particularly prejudiced, perhaps because many of them are part Indian (Native American).
3 people like this
@RubyHawk (99405)
• Atlanta, Georgia
10 Apr 17
I really can't say. We have neighbors of all races. We have doctors, nurses,lawyers, and anything else of all races. We have friends of all colors,family of all colors . It used to be different but that was years ago. When I was growing up I had black friends but they had to come in the back door and had separate glasses to drink from. But that was many years ago and it's all changed now.
4 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50524)
• United States
12 Apr 17
@TheHorse I am not originally from Mississippi, but my husband is. As you know he is black and I am white. I think that there is an invisible shield around us that keeps the ugliness of the world away. I feel the the different races in our little part of the world get along very well. At the risk of offending my fellow Mylotters from Georgia, I found Georgia to be quite racist when I lived there in the early eighties. I was just a single white girl in a white family and couldn't believe some of the things I saw and heard. Hopefully it has changed. 
maybe it was just the town we were in ?
maybe it was just the town we were in ?2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50524)
• United States
23 Apr 17
@TheHorse I remember it being aimed at the black students. I was in college at the time. Also, I heard hateful things said about other races. I must say that I did meet some lovely people in Georgia too that were not this way. Sadly the only friend that I lost when I married my husband was a friend that I had roomed with there in Georgia. When I went to college here in Mississippi my experience was really positive, even when they found out my then boyfriend, now husband was black
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Apr 17
@Tampa_girl7 I'm assuming that it varies widely by individual. I'm hoping that that fella I interacted with in Georgia wasn't representative. I had another (implicitly) racist incident with a young black man in Georgia. But I'll save that one for another time. In Iowa, white and black people seemed to get along. Only once did I experience racism there. I was driving from Grinnell Iowa to Des Moines Iowa with a friend/teammate's girlfriend riding shotgun. We were on our way to a softball tournament. My buddy (he happens to be white, but that's not relevant) had ridden with other teammates to Des Moines earlier. His girlfriend was black, funny, and articulate. We had a great drive. At a gas station in Des Moines, the black gas station attendant gave me the dirtiest look I've ever received, save maybe 20 others. I realized he thought she was my girlfriend. Happily, no words were exchanged.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 17
I have witnessed it first hand with my wife. However people are so shocked when I step in. People jump to conclusions too quickly. I also witness it with my colleagues at work. People from the Caribbean hate people from Africa and vice versa. The implications are quite horrible when one thinks one is superior to another! They have black workers groups here but we are not permitted to have white workers groups. I do not think there should be any groups like this as these people cause so much trouble. Some of my colleagues refuse to join this group as they know their intention is to cause disharmony in the work place.
As for the guy in the uniform he was probably just showing off that he had the power no matter how miniscule it may have been. How rude of him.
3 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 17
@TheHorse I think that those from Africa think they are superior to those from the Caribbean and those from the Caribbean think that those from Africa are still savages! There is much intolerance in Jamaica especially around homophobia. I have a Jamaican friend who is a terrible snob and thinks she is whiter than white which is terribly sad. She is quite pompous and name drops. Her father was a minister and mother a teacher. She definitely sees herself as better than others to the point that i find it quite amusing. I don't know if you have ever seen Keeping up appearances. Well she is the Jamaican equivalent of Hyacinth Bucket pronounced Bouquet to you!!!. 
5 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@garymarsh6 I have not seen that serial or film. My African friends and colleagues tend to be shocked/saddened by what they see in the black American ghettos. They distance themselves, but do not act condescending.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
9 Apr 17
I hadn't realized that people from the Caribbean and people from Africa traditionally don't get along. Do you know the origins of that mutual mistrust? Would black workers groups include both? A black Jamaican friend from Bubblews told me that there wasn't much racism in Jamaica itself, but there was a lot of "classism."
4 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
10 Apr 17
I live in a smallish city that is multi-racial and many people from all different countries live and work here and bring their families and parents here as well. I think when I was growing up the people may not have been as receptive to all nationalities and colors, but I don't remember any odd situations either.
I have no problem talking to most people if I can understand their English.
Maybe that was the first little break that guy in uniform had that day, but he could have directed you without breaking a sweat and still paid attention to his companion. If he was talking with a different customer maybe he felt he should give him his full attention, I don't know. At first I thought it was two workers talking together but then realized that's not what you said at all.
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
10 Apr 17
I use to be called "honky" alot when I lived in Omaha, Nebraska @TheHorse . When I first moved there it was an all-white neighborhood and then it converted to all black.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
Interesting that it happened in Omaha. When I was a kid in Chicago, I got called "honky mother f-cker" a lot on the way to school. And some of my (middle class) black friends were criticized by the "poor black" kids for hanging out with "honky."
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
18 Nov 17
@Fleura A term that black people use about white people.
3 people like this
@AliCanary (3247)
•
10 Apr 17
Uh, no, that guy was just a jerk. I would have reported him.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (220267)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Apr 17
@AliCanary That's good to hear. I'm glad that I don't have to be afraid to address a black person in the South in a professional or friendly manner for fear that I'm violating an unspoken social norm. I probably have to spend more time there to get a feel for what the South is really like.
Why would a black friend be distressed that you're marrying an Asian dude? Last night, I played a gig, and my (white) friend's half-Filipino daughter came up and took a quick bass lesson from me during break. I told her that my favorite color was purple too, and she had daddy (my buddy) take her out to the car so she could give me a purple East egg she had made. Had one of my black friends been there, they would have laughed with the rest of us and said "that's so sweet" with the rest of us.
@AliCanary (3247)
•
10 Apr 17
@TheHorse - I live in North Carolina-- the dude, individually, could have been racist, but we don't have any such "understandings" as racially segregated service. I've had more experiences with racism up north, actually -- one of my black friends in Philadelphia was distressed to learn I was marrying a Japanese man and said "the races shouldn't mix" (seriously???). Another black guy on the street saw us walking together and fussed, "Look at that--a white woman with a Puerto Rican!" (ummm, okay), and my aunt was really racist about it until she met him and realized he was a great guy.
1 person likes this
