Discuss fat? Heck yes! Part 6

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I'm really trying to remember when it all 'clicked' for me--was it September 29, 1983 (weight 205.75) with a sore throat from yelling "Bravo" and my hands all red and already getting blistered from applauding at the finale of the spectacular at the Shubert Theatre in New York when "A Chorus Line" became the longest running show on Broadway? I was with Dr. K who was able to get our seats because he knew Buddy Vest who had played Zach on tour. Outside, waiting for us, were my best friend, along with his lover, 2 other friends and the one person in the world who I had unconditionally loved--which was to be our last good time together. Was that when I realized that I am really okay? When all I had been taught in Transactional Analysis had come to fruition? That I was able to come through so much in the next 23 years--deaths of close friends, losing the love of my life, going through bankruptcy, being on the very edge of becoming homeless, fighting fat--with a positive attitude. On December 18, 2000 I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very queasy--and didn't feel good all day. Was it emphysema? Arteries? Heart? Nothing? On December 20 I was diagnosed with arterial fibrillation--doctor said I could have had a stroke--was 58 years of smoking (3 packs a day for at least 30 of those years) finally catching up with me? Or was it the fat? My eating habits? Having never been sick, never even taking an aspirin I was now taking all kinds of medicine (good excuse for weight gains, right?)--Coumadin, Zocor, Lisinpril, etc. A quote from my diary--"My calves are killing me--can't walk without pain--what if I can't work?" A heart monitor was attached to me that I had to wear for 24 hours and my last thought before I went to sleep that night was, "Will I die tonight? I'm not ready, YET!" On December 29 (weighing 231 pounds) I sat down and ate a whole 4 pound Southern ham, with a few side dishes, and a complete pumpkin pie (which I don't even like) topped with ice cream and, of course, about a dozen diet sodas--this is the man who knew everything about food, health, dieting, losing and putting weight. The morning of December 30 I called 911 and was taken to the hospital and was there until January 2, 2001, where I lost 12 pounds having gone through congestive heart failure. They had also put a stent(?) in my leg to improve blood flow. I decided, finally, that it was time to stop playing games with my health and weight, knowing the latter would affect the former--though there is a new theory that fat people are as healthy, if not healthier, than skinny people. The first thing I decided to do was to cut back on the smoking--no, I knew I wouldn't stop it completely and that attempting to tackle 2 big issues at the same time wouldn't work--I allowed myself 1 cigarette an hour, each hour I was awake--and I did that until July 21, 2008 when I had my last cigarette, but that's another discussion. Taking my knowledge of nutrition and combing it with what I knew I was capable of and what I needed to do I devised a complete new diet for me that I knew I could follow without any problems. A year later, January, 2002, I weighed 169--a weight I knew I would never maintain but would, at least, allow me a couple of weeks of 'vacation' from the regimen. My weight finally landed in the mid 180s which I was happy with and stayed there until December, 2005. (Sorry, this was a bit too long!)