It's Always Something

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The last couple days I've had a sore throat, so last night I decided to check out what the back of my throat looked like using the flashlight. To my dismay my tonsils look slightly swollen and there are a few white patches on them. In my experience this usually means strep throat, although it's been 20 years since I've had it. I used to catch it all the time as a kid and my throat doesn't hurt the way I remember it hurting when I would have it, nor do I have any of the other symptoms. Still, I think it's best to get it checked out and make sure it's not strep or some other bacterial infection. Anyway, I had to cancel my appointment with the gasatroenterologist tomorrow so I can go to the walk in clinic to have my throat checked out. I'm not too happy about that. It figures that the week I have a bazillion things to do, I come down with something. I just hope it's not a bacterial infection, because I don't know how I will manage to force myself to take antibiotics to treat it. I am having panic attacks over the mere thought of taking medication. Which is ridiculous, and I know it is, but I can't help having medication anxiety. I am always afraid I will have an allergic reaction, and it doesn't help that I've had several mild reactions to new medications (and some that weren't new!) over the past year. Sometimes I wish I were still a little kid with my mom in charge of making me take my medicine. I never questioned anything she gave me, and trusted that it would make me well...I never, ever panicked then that it would make me worse. I wish I could go back to the way I used to be, before this panic disorder took over my life.