Not sure what to do

@minx267 (15527)
Hartford, Connecticut
June 16, 2017 4:27am CST
My cousin just called me while I'm here at work to tell me her husband just passed away. It is so sad. I'm never quite sure how to respond in these situations.. I told her to let me know if she needed anything and that I was free for next couple of days if she needed me to come over... But I'm a sure they hear that from everybody. Should I just go over there? Should I give her space and time to deal with it? I'm always awkward with these things.
10 people like this
10 responses
Nawsheen
@Nawsheen (28643)
• Mauritius
16 Jun 17
I think you can go for a short visit.
2 people like this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Yes I think I will try to do that soon
1 person likes this
Nawsheen
@Nawsheen (28643)
• Mauritius
17 Jun 17
@minx267 how is your cousin doing now?
1 person likes this
Nawsheen
@Nawsheen (28643)
• Mauritius
19 Jun 17
@minx267 oh no. That's bad. You showed me a video once. I hope it is not one among those two. Any idea how this happened. I am so sorry
1 person likes this
Shavkat
@Shavkat (139937)
• Philippines
16 Jun 17
You can try to visit her. I am not sure how to deal with this. All I know we can always call them up and vent out their sentiments.
2 people like this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
17 Jun 17
@Shavkat I hope so. She is pretty strong.
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minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Thank you. I am giving her some time to rest. She was awake all night
1 person likes this
Shavkat
@Shavkat (139937)
• Philippines
17 Jun 17
@minx267 I think she is so stressed out. I hope she can get through this as soon as possible.
1 person likes this
celticeagle
@celticeagle (167015)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 17
I'd keep in contact with her. Give her some space. How would you like to be treated, heaven forbid, if it were you?
1 person likes this
celticeagle
@celticeagle (167015)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 17
@minx267 .....Glad you had someone to turn to.
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minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
19 Jun 17
@celticeagle yea, I was SO close to having a nervous breakdown.. she ended up taking me on a vacation a few months later in Feb for my birthday to California.. my first and only tie going there.. and my last time on vacation.. lol (13 years ago) it helped.
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
17 Jun 17
Idk. I had a rough spot where I lost my mom, my Dad and my 15 year old dog all within s month.. I turned to my aunt..
1 person likes this
Michelle
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
18 Jun 17
I am sorry to hear. I have not had to deal with this before, I think you should go over there and see if she's okay.
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
19 Jun 17
Thanks I am going t try and do that.
1 person likes this
Michelle
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
19 Jun 17
@minx267 I hope you can comfort her.
1 person likes this
Tokz
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
16 Jun 17
Maybe you should be there
2 people like this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Yea, I'm just not sure.. I don't want to get in the way of his family. I think I will play it by ear
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
@Iquestionitall you could have a point.
2 people like this
Donald Pennington
@Iquestionitall (229)
• United States
16 Jun 17
@minx267 No. Maybe she needs you. She called you. Love gets in the way, all the time.
1 person likes this
Sai
@vsai2008 (11796)
• India
16 Jun 17
you need not say anything to her but your presence would speak volumes..if you can go there, please do may he rest in peace
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Thanks for the input.. I am giving her time to rest. She has not slept the whole night
1 person likes this
Sai
@vsai2008 (11796)
• India
16 Jun 17
@minx267 Are the formalities over?
Anna
@LadyDuck (471421)
• Switzerland
16 Jun 17
I am very sorry and I cannot know what to suggest because I am also unsure what to do in those circumstances.
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Yes. It is something I was never comfortable dealing with.
1 person likes this
StacyB
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
16 Jun 17
If you're close to her I think you should go visit. If she's not someone you're close too, sending your condolences should be enough.
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Yes we are pretty close..
1 person likes this
Shiva
@Shiva49 (26684)
• Singapore
16 Jun 17
It is a tough situation to be in and how to respond. Sometimes they need space to deal with the loss and we may just intrude in the space. Good that you have made yourself available for any assistance - siva
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Thank you.. she is my closest cousin though.. I feel I should do more.
1 person likes this
William Harran
@billo13 (44)
• Oshawa, Ontario
16 Jun 17
Firstly, my condolences. It is certainly a difficult time and it is tough to know what to say and do. No matter what you try, everything seems so inadequate. I believe you did the best thing by simply telling her that you are there for her and available if she needs you. I think the best approach is the 'golden rule' in other words, respond in a way that you would appreciate if the positions were reversed. Would you want some space or would you rather have someone with you for support? I wish you and your cousin peace and comfort.
1 person likes this
minx267
@minx267 (15527)
• Hartford, Connecticut
16 Jun 17
Thank you. I did reach out again.. Told her she really needed to get some sleep. Because she hasn't yet. And reiterated that if she needs a shoulder to cry on to just call me..
1 person likes this