What 'NOT' to speak?

I still have the occasional problem with the 'not to speak'.

I don't usually speak to people if I am not acquainted with. I need to observe the person first before speaking to them. So that I cannot able to offend them along the process of conversation.

That is a wonderful quotation. I truly agree with that based on my experience. Each day is a day of learning how to hold our tongue so that we will not utter words that will destroy relationships, or any words that will hurt others.

I am still learning when it comes to this. I prefer to keep quiet at times rather than blurt out bad things

Yes that is why I rarely speak these days. It seems all is wrong.

The quote is worth remembering and worth practicing. It's always wise to chose right words and right tone while speaking. Some things are better unspoken.

As we mature, we learn a lot of things. And speaking is one of it, what to say and what not to speak of. For me, speaking or expressing even the unwanted words depends on how we deliver it- the tone and expression. I don't know how to explain it correctly. Speaking from my own experiences, I have words left unspoken that I have regretted for not saying. Now I am trying in my best effort to say and express what's in my head , considering the consequences- would it hurt the person or not. But what matters is, the honesty. I also believe that, people who sincerely love us may said the hurtful words because that's how they love us. I know that no matter how we try to say words in the nicest way, some people are too shallow and sensitive. So, we can't avoid hurting a few with our innocent talks.

Sreekala, I have had a situation like that last year right here. I have time and again mentioned asking me to adopt does not go down well with me, I have my reasons. This person was reading that and ignoring only that aspect because getting adopted by me was on his agenda. Even so I explained that age difference between us is not sufficient for me to consider adopting him. After all, I would need help at an age and his wife would have her own age related problems not to mention responsibility of his daughter. But he felt adopting him was the best option and thought I was stupid if I could not see that I needed him to listen to my woes in future. I could only see him as woe creator for me because he was just brushing aside any reservations and feelings I had in respect of adoption for his financial security. Try as I might to convince him softly and firmly on boards and through PMs, he was brushing it all aside. I had little choice but to be harsh with him to get reality sink into him. Later on I realized that an age gap of 25 years is mandated as per Indian laws and happened to tell him. The guy left myLot for good. lol.

In the real world it is foolish to give value to a word that should not have been spoken. Everyone does that and regrets later. Life has to move on and controlling oneself is not easy but understanding each other is easy. And this is not what is happening these days. People just cut off and stay away when that word that should not have been spoken is uttered.

That is a very meaningful quote.You can't take back a word you have already spoken.Most of the time I remember about that.But I have not fully mastered the art of "NOT" speaking some things.

Maybe its not 'not to speak' but when to speak and whom to speak. Maybe its about choosing rhe right word to speak rather than not speaking at all.

still learning what NOT to speak. like the quote says, it takes a life time.

Well as you wrote it takes a life time to learn what not to speak, so I'm not sure I learned enough, because sometimes without intention I can say too many things I might not have needed... But I certainly continue to learn it

Sometimes it happens. When the other person is cooled down, I explain to them that it was not what I intended to say, I tell sorry and mean it, hoping the person understands and forgives. It depends on the person who is hearing as well, smallest of the things you say, can hurt and we may not even realize. I feel how you deal the aftermath is important because knowingly or unknowingly we sometimes hurt people with words.

There was a moment like that and it was to defend someone that could not defend themselves and I won myself life time enemies. I guess that I could not bear the injustice that was being shown to the said person. However most times I have and am still learning what not to say.

its so difficult to speak right all the time.......but hope other people will understand this