My Bestfriend's Traditional Wedding
By Nancy_Nikki
@Kind4321 (826)
Nairobi, Kenya
September 26, 2017 3:58am CST
My weekend was definitely an amazing one and truly emotional.That week i could hardly sleep well,i was anxious and i used to dream about the occasion.I was more nervous than my best friend.I have known my friend for 16 years now and we talk every single day and meet often.
The day finally came.The activities involved in our traditional wedding include dowry presentation where both parents and some few relatives lock themselves up in a room to negotiate bride price this normally happens after the guests have eaten and socialized.Owe unto you if you have been staying with the lady/have made her pregnant without formally seeing the parents because you are most likely to receive a heavy fine.The groom's parents come with a crate of soda to be shared amongst everyone and this symbolizes unity.The women also present some traditional shawls and they gift the women from the bride's side.At this time the bride to be should be in the house and she cannot come out until given a go ahead by the elders.There is also apart where the ladies who have similar body shape as the bride come wrapped up in traditional shawls called lesos and the groom has to identify his bride.There after the lady and the guy are made to sit in front of the crowd and clearly state their intentions.
After both sides have reached the consensus then it means the couple can go ahead and start planning the wedding.Some opt to start life after that since its official that they are now together.In the evening people indulge in traditional beer to celebrate the event.Later on we went and danced the night out.I was so happy all through.It is indeed a joy to watch my friend achieve milestones and be there to share the joy..Do you have traditional weddings in your country/culture?How does it happen?Do you get anxious at things that others are going through?
Pic by:Project82
18 people like this
22 responses
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
26 Sep 17
We have our own traditions in wedding.
How i wish to witness traditional wedding of other race too.
3 people like this
@ilocosboy (45156)
• Philippines
26 Sep 17
dancing and giving money to the new couple and of course the eating he he, Eating may start from morning and up to lunch. Some tribes have 7 days preparations but not in our modern way of wedding.
4 people like this
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
@ilocosboy wow sounds like alot of fun!Especially the dncing part
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
26 Sep 17
Congratulations to your friend. No dowry here but many men ask a woman's father for permission to marry her.
3 people like this
@mildredtabitha (16126)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
That is very nice. I have never attended weddings before.
How old was the groom and bride?
2 people like this
@mildredtabitha (16126)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
@Kind4321 yes. Very serious . :) 12 years age gap. Nice :)
I don't even know which is better between traditional wedding and modern wedding
1 person likes this
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
@mildredtabitha Yes i love their age gap that's my ideal to.
Both weddings are good i think.What matters is that you have formalized and told the people who matter your intentions.Sometimes the couple might not have the resources for both occasions.
You should attend this events so that you can know how you will do yours.:)
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Sep 17
oh how wonderful. love the whole idea. what fun. sounds better then most our traditions. although here we have several different religions and traditions.
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@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
29 Sep 17
@Kind4321 thank you dear but i am too old now to think about any of that any more. my best will be living pain free for once and peace finally. he has been gone 15 sad years. he was so good for me and to me. i still miss him.
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
4 Oct 17
@bunnybon7 Sorry dear friend.I hope your days will be filled with alot of peace.I am happy to be your friend.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
26 Sep 17
It is always it is interesting to know the customs and rituals of different cultures.Glad that you enjoyed the occasion.
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@silvermist (19702)
• India
26 Sep 17
@Kind4321 True.But these days many educated Indians avoid this type of marriage for biological reasons.Marrying blood relatives is avoided by many as children may have genetic defects from inbreeding.
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@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
@silvermist my Indian friend once told me that and i found it risky at some point because of the genetics but what of arranged marriages?
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@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
28 Sep 17
@Kind4321 we have many different cultures, so many different traditional weddings, I could not mention them all, but there are Sotho and Zulu and they each have a different way, I have never attended one of their weddings though.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
27 Sep 17
This is totally amazing. I have never thought about the price of a bride before. Where I come from the guy asks the girl to marry them and if she accepts she plans the wedding. In the old times the guy had to ask the father to marry his daughter, but that is gone now and it is up to us to decide if we will marry the guy or not.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
28 Sep 17
@Kind4321 I understand this is your tradition, but the man is buying his wife. Her family sells her to this man? I know the cultures are so different from place to place. I have a friend who lives in another country. There his family finds his wife for him. They make the arrangements for their son and he must marry the woman his parent's chose for him. But he did not like this tradition and he met this wonderful woman and they both fell in love. It took time for both families to agree they could get married. Now they have a daughter that is almost 2 and they are both so happy.
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@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
4 Oct 17
@poehere I know it seems like buying someone but i wouldn't put it that way.I look at it as a token of appreciation and i think it helps the man and the lady to respect each other more.
Wow am glad your friend followed his heart.I do not like the idea of planned marriages at all but there are some people who do well also with their spouses from the arranged marriages.
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@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
28 Sep 17
Oh totally nice hearing about other people's culture.Yours is definitely not complicated and seems like in a month you can get engaged and hold a wedding.
In our case after the guy proposes to a lady the next step is to go to the parents for an introduction and to state that he has marked the territory.He is then given a list of the dowry items and a date is set for the next ceremony.He is not obliged to honor the whole dowry amount immediately but he can pay a chunk and honor the rest even later in life after he has married the lady.
The lady has to also go to meet the guy's family with some few relatives.So it can take a while to finish all that and start planning for the wedding.
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
26 Sep 17
Those textiles are beautiful, by the way. I like that game where groom must guess his bride. Ha. Interesting customs. Ours aren't similar here.
Typically but not always - soon before the wedding there is a "bridal shower" , it's just a get together of women, the friends and family of the bride. They might play games, have a small meal, give gifts and tell stories about the bride. Some people choose a night before the wedding for a party. The groom will go with his friends and do "men" things. And bride will go out with girlfriends. Sometimes these parties get a little wild. Some people don't do this, too. For the wedding itself, many people choose to get married in a church, ceremony itself depends a lot on the religion of the couple, some are more formal, some are less. Sometimes they light a candle together, pour a sand sculpture together, or release butterflies or something of the like to symbolize unity. Later there is typically a reception. Sometimes they will open gifts, but almost always there is food, drink and a party with music and dancing through the night.
Oh edit to add: Some time in the past it was common here for a bride to have a dowry. However this was mostly items that she might need to set up her home. (silverware, dishes, pots and pans, etc.)
Also many good wishes to your friend in her marriage
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
27 Sep 17
@Kind4321 I always did think an outdoors wedding would be lovely.
That's cool to know the bridal shower tradition is alive across the world. One I went to - she had asked that people write their advice for successful relationships and "date nights". I thought it was a cool idea.
I'm happy that they aren't expected to pay the full bridge price at once.
1 person likes this
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Sep 17
@FayeHazel wow that's beautiful and similar to here to.After traditional ceremony and the couple decides they will have a wedding we also do a bridal shower for the bride to be.In the bridal shower we buy her gifts(Mostly bedroom gifts) and we share a meal and drinks together.We also look for someone who has been in marriage for over 6 years to come and give advice to the bride(not a necessary step though). As for the wedding it can be in church or a garden.So i see it's pretty similar to what you have.The only different thing is the dowry ceremony.Oh by the way the traditional ceremony is usually in steps and you are not obliged to pay all the amount of money before marrying.You can finish paying even years after you have been married.
Thanks for the well wishes i will pass them to her.
1 person likes this
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
28 Sep 17
@FayeHazel The tip for asking advice for date nights is on top...I will incorporate it in future if i get to be involved in a friend's event soon
@YrNemo (20255)
•
26 Sep 17
- Is dowry still exist there? Does it mean that your friend's parents had to fork out quite a bit of money to the groom?
- What happens if the groom chooses the wrong girl (who wrapped up just like his bride)? Are they going to laugh it off and begin again until he gets it right?
1 person likes this
(re choosing the wrong girl!). So it is great to have daughters in your country? That is terrific! You mean a certain amount of money to your parents? Wow!@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Sep 17
Yes dowry does exist and it is custom.A girl's parents can refuse dowry and instead opt for 'pay her masters' or 'take good care of her' but that's rare/
The groom is the one that presents dowry to the bride's parents and the amount ranges across different households.Others are charged very little-more of an appreciative token but others are asked to remove alot.In that case you negotiate and say what you have.It is not a must all the money is removed at once.It can be done in stages even after you have lived for 10 years together.But you must honor the full dowry before taking your daughter's dowry.
If the groom chooses the wrong girl he is fined.
1 person likes this
@Behindtheguitarbar (2831)
• Guangdong, China
26 Sep 17
The clothes are so beautiiful.
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@Behindtheguitarbar (2831)
• Guangdong, China
27 Sep 17
@Kind4321 no, not really, but I remember that some people in northeast seemed like do the same.
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@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Sep 17
@Behindtheguitarbar That's nice good to know other people's culture as well
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
Yeah they are normally hidden in traditional shawls,,,Do you have something similar in your culture?
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
20 Oct 17
Yes, I do get anxious. I tend to think your wedding is more practical than many here in the United States. I like the family coming together to determine some financial matters.
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Sep 17
When it's a friends wedding you can get stressed because in one way or another you have to be involved
@Kind4321 (826)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Sep 17
Yes i did enjoy and got emotional at some point.It was as if I am the one...
@joanwanjala (522)
• Mombasa, Kenya
26 Sep 17
This is it!
I can't wait for mine, yay!
1 person likes this
