Feeling Heart Broken
By Shellyann36
@Shellyann36 (11384)
United States
October 5, 2017 10:53am CST
Many people don't know this but the twins have been diagnosed by the school as having a developmental delay. I took them to their pediatrician who referred us to a neurological specialist but we are waiting for an appointment. Apparently, there are not many in the state who handle young children.
They are both behind in the normal learning curve of children their age. They both get speech therapy and occupational therapy at school and they get a small group setting out of the class for more individualized learning.
I had my heart broken last night. Adam is getting along much better but Elijah is still struggling. He is having a hard time writing his ABC's, I23's and his name. He has mentioned every morning this week that he did not want to go to school. Last night, he woke up in the middle of the night crying because he did not want to go to school. He came got in bed with me and I know he must have been stressing about it and had a bad dream. I talked to him and he told me he does not want to go because he cannot write. At that moment, I felt so helpless. I work with both him and Adam at night on homework and practicing their name and ABC's and 123's. Elijah is coming along but he is not as fast at learning as Adam seems to be.
I spoke with his teacher via text this morning. She is such a sweetie. She really helps him out in class. I hope that between the three of us (teacher, teacher assistant and myself) we can get him over his anxiety.
Now, I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent.
23 people like this
28 responses
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
5 Oct 17
My twin sons had developmental delays as well. They eventually caught up with their peers. However, they still required an IEP for them to be successful in school. They had ADHD as well.
6 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
5 Oct 17
@Courtlynn mine were premies and they faced some obstacles in their young lives. With the help of therapy they were able to get up to speed. Took them a while though. One of the twins was able to excel academically and the other not as well. Each of them suffered with anxiety and that was what ended their desire to finish school. They quit in the 10th grade. Happy to report that they both have their GED and scored high on their tests.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@ElusiveButterfly they have improved quite a bit even with the short length of time they have been in school. I just worry that the anxiety that Elijah is going through is going to ruin his ability to cope in school. Thank you for sharing your twins trials. I am glad that they both succeeded.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
6 Oct 17
I'll be Praying that all of you can find a solution that will work well for him. Wishing you the Best.
3 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@KrauseHome thank you so very much. We are working through it. I was so upset when he just kept coming home crying every day. It seems to have improved a bit.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@rebelann I am going to look into dyslexia when we get an appointment with the neurologist. We are still waiting on that. I thought of it because one of my nieces has dyslexia.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@rebelann Thank you and I understand what you mean. He is progressing quite a bit. I am really working hard with him at night on his homework and so is hubby. Now if we can just get the little bully brats to leave him alone we will be alright.
2 people like this
@rebelann (112966)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Oct 17
Not that I wish Elijah ill but I kinda hope that's all he has @Shellyann36 I've heard there are several forms of it and most of the time it's just a matter of coping with the different way it affects learning.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@sallypup that is a good idea. I am glad I read this. I will bring this up at the parent-teacher conferences tomorrow and at the IEP meetings!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
5 Oct 17
Sorry to hear that. 
. I hope things get better for him.
. I hope things get better for him.1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@Courtlynn I have the parent/teacher meetings today. Things will be resolved.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
6 Oct 17
Oh the poor little guy. I hope things turn out for him, I'm sure he will get the hang of writing.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@fishtiger58 thank you. We are collectively working on it. We will get there one day.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@fishtiger58 I don't mind them learning at their own pace. What I will not tolerate is anyone bullying them.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 Each kid has to learn at his own pace sometimes.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@shaggin They were both fairly large for twins. Adam was 5 lb 7 oz and Elijah was 6lb 3oz. I was enormous and so happy when my water broke!
If your son feels anxiety daily, I can only imagine how you handle it. Just a week of Elijah being upset really got to me. Hugs to you.
2 people like this
@shaggin (72234)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 Sometimes when a baby is very small at birth like born very early they will be months behind other kids their age with milestones is why I asked but I guess that is not the case here.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@shaggin I have heard this also. When they were 2 months old they both got RSV and that lead to their asthma. Other than that, they have been healthy with the exceptions of the Speech delay. I was often told that twins have speech delays due to the "twin speak" because they share their own little language for so long. Thank you for all of your input. I admire your strength with your son's anxiety.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Oct 17
that is so sad. you hear about tutoring and home schooling. i wonder if any of that is an option
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 so sorry. wonder why
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
14 Oct 17
@bunnybon7 Hubby is old school. Not too open to new things.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@bunnybon7 I did look into the learning online courses offered by the state and I was willing to go that route but hubby was not.
2 people like this
@crossbones27 (49723)
• Mojave, California
8 Oct 17
That sucks, and I had to have speech therapy when was young like that. It is indeed pretty hard and hopefully one day they make it where kids feel more comfortable who have these conditions to where they can learn at their pace.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@crossbones27 it is amazing how cruel kids can be to each other. No matter how hard schools work against bullying it still happens frequently. Their speech has improved dramatically. It is nice to know that you grew out of the speech problem. Gives me hope.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
15 Oct 17
@crossbones27 If it was not for the public speaking would you still be in the military?
@crossbones27 (49723)
• Mojave, California
15 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 I did for the most part, be honest and no way I could ever talk like my brother. Way he explains things and killed me in military. One of the real reasons I got out because knew they would make me do public speaking and did try and bombed. Pun intended, problem military is adapt and over come, but without knowing why.
Meaning, did not care and that is such a dangerous mindset. One of the reasons I got out. Why I like the my band Rancid and Tim Armstrong so much. He showed you can overcome but did it on his terms, not their's. Hope you can do that for your son, because most do not even try to look at the shoe, let alone wear it. It has to effect them in some way. Negatively unfortunately. Either that you have to be brilliant in showing them how much of a jerk they have been.
I am all terrible at that stuff.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16789)
• China
9 Oct 17
I understand how you feel.Hope the twins will increase their learning ability as time goes on.It is said that Albert Einstein couldn't speak until he was 4 years old.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@changjiangzhibin89 Thank you. I am sure that they will. They are both learning daily. I just do not care for the fact that Elijah sometimes comes home crying or he cries when it is time to go to school.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@changjiangzhibin89 Thank you. I just hate the anxious feeling that Elijah gets concerning school. All of that should be taken care of today.
2 people like this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16789)
• China
13 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 Don't worry about it! It will take some time for them to find their feet and make progress in their studies.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
5 Oct 17
Oh that is heartbreaking to hear your child cry about this and no wonder.
Well that teacher sounds like a real nice person and I pray she will help Elijah and Adam both.
Let us know Shellyann how it goes please...no I did not know that about your twins.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@TiarasOceanView Thank you so much! Elijah's teacher and the teachers assistant are great. They really care about him and take the time to help him so much. Without them, I would be at my witts end. Adam has great teachers as well and they help him a lot but he does not need as much support as Elijah does.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@TiarasOceanView They really are caring souls. I am so impressed with both of them, well all four of them actually.
2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 Good that the teachers are caring then Shellyann.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@LadyDuck thank you. Fortunately, the twins are in different classrooms. When we work on homework here at the house, we split them up. Usually, if I am working with one twin, hubby will work with the other one. It is not so much that Elijah is intimidated by how much more Adam can do than he is upset because of peers bullying him and making fun of him in class.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
14 Oct 17
@LadyDuck Yes, that is the reason why. She was making him feel so bad and pointing out his weakest spot.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472074)
• Switzerland
13 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 I immediately thought that may be he does not want to go to school because of bullies. Kids can be cruel at that age.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@just4him thank you. Adam is doing pretty good it is Elijah that is struggling. Adam had one problem but we solved that already.
2 people like this
@just4him (317241)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 I'm glad you got the problem solved with Adam. I hope Elijah will start doing well and liking school.
1 person likes this
@joanwanjala (522)
• Mombasa, Kenya
13 Oct 17
We are all different, even the adults mature differently, can assure you the teachers will work it out
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@joanwanjala thank you for stopping by. We are working on it together.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
15 Oct 17
@joanwanjala Thank you. I will not let my kids be defeated by something so childish and rude. 
@joanwanjala (522)
• Mombasa, Kenya
15 Oct 17
@Shellyann36 That's the spirit dear
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
26 Oct 17
@velvet53 Thank you, the teacher and assistant are wonderful. I sure hope I can afford to buy them a nice thank you give over the Christmas holidays this year.
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
21 Oct 17
I hope it does work between you and the two teachers, I believe when he becomes comfortable ( and it will happen) all things will get better for all of you. Big hugs to you and Adam...
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
21 Oct 17
@PainsOnSlate thank you. It is Elijah that was being picked on by the little girl. It seems to be going much better now.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
7 Oct 17
i know the kids will be able to have the normal childhood development with your assistance and endless love and care.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@ridingbet Thank you, we are working on it very hard.
2 people like this
@petatonicsca (7070)
• Japan
6 Oct 17
I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm a music teacher and can tell you that in general, boys have a tendency to struggle with writing and reading for much longer than girls. If they are only in first grade, with some early support this will sort itself out. Like others said, make sure they know they are strong in some things! Feel free to PM me if you like.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@petatonicsca thank you for the kind words. Both Adam and Elijah seem to be making headway. Elijah seems to have more problems than Adam does and Elijah is suffering from the anxiety from those problems and from peer bullying. Ironically, it is a girl who is bullying him.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13961)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 17
don't push too hard on the weaker one. Give him some time, encouragement and love is what he needs.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@peachpurple Oh no, I do not want to make his anxiety worse. We are all working on it together. I think it will all eventually work out.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
13 Oct 17
@peachpurple We have the parent teachers conference today. I am sure I will get lots of answers for the bullying.
1 person likes this
@craftsmart (265)
• United States
6 Oct 17
I am sorry to hear that. I myself have issues surrounding school and it is a process deciding how much college I want to do or I should do. I hope that you can find resources and support in your area! Wishing you the best.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
12 Oct 17
@craftsmart It is really hard to deal with on so many levels. I hope that you make the right decisions for yourself and get exactly the courses you need and want.
2 people like this
