What do you like being called by strangers?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218464)
Walnut Creek, California
November 13, 2017 9:07am CST
This post grew out of a discussion I just had with @Maluse on someone else's post. So, thank's (sic) to Maluse for getting my brain started while I'm still on my first cup of coffee.
How do you like to be addressed, both on MyLot and in the real world? If someone doesn't know me, for example a checker at Safeway, I'm happy with a simple "How are you doing today?" "Sir" makes me feel a tad old, and "Bud" is too informal.
Strangely, I like "Man," especially at corner liquor stores or gas stations (where I sometimes get Gatorade with kid clients), as it brings me back to days when "Hey, Man" was a casual yet friendly greeting among fellow self-proclaimed hipsters.
Call me "Boss," as seems to have become popular among a certain social class in California, and I'll want to knock your head off.
On MyLot, I'm confused and a bit put off when people who don't know me call me "Friend." Is that a cultural thing? I'd rather hear my "name," or just nothing at all. And no, I don't mind "Pony" from those I've kidded around with here.
How do you prefer to be addressed, both in the real world and on MyLot? Does being called "Friend" bother you? What about "Boss"?
41 people like this
47 responses
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
13 Nov 17
Great picture! I don't mind being called friend on here. I kinda like it. I do not mind being called dear at a checkout but I don't like being addressed as love by a cashier. It seems quite common around here. I would prefer a simple have a nice day, how are you doing?, etc without any titles. Mam makes me feel old. Miss is okay i guess. Never really gave it a whole lot of thought.
8 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
14 Nov 17
I will just continue to call you Laurel. I'd rather keep my cojones right where they belong! (grinning at you!) 
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471253)
• Switzerland
13 Nov 17
Here in myLot I appreciate when people call me using my name. My real name is clearly stated, there is not reason not to use it. Friend does not bother me if I know the user for at least a few weeks, sis or sister I do not like at all. In real world, here people you do not know address to woman calling them "Signora" (Madam) or "Signorina" (Miss) for a man is Signore, sort of Sir, but less formal.
7 people like this
@LadyDuck (471253)
• Switzerland
14 Nov 17
@DaddyEvil As I said, I am not against the word "friend" if I know the member from sometimes.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (79649)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Nov 17
Just by my name Rasma and I always make myself known online now by combining my first and middle name RasmaSandra like on here. That way when I write, create poetry and do my blogs everyone knows who I really am. I used to make up names but decided that it was bad because I am eager to self-publish an e-book of poems so now everyone will know it was me who did that. I still have silly names online in places where we cannot change the names once we choose them so I am such silly names like yamarella, gypsy rose lee and oh, yes even mexican sunflower. So I am glad I decided to use my own two name combination.
7 people like this
@GardenGerty (160611)
• United States
14 Nov 17
I went through a few silly names on a few silly sites. Some would consider Garden Gerty to be silly but it has a special meaning for me. Actually this is the only place now that I am Garden Gerty.
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@CoralLevang @RasmaSandra I wasn't sure about it, so very carefully never used anything when talking with Rasma. (Different countries have different customs and I was doing my best not to offend.)
Then realized I may be offending some people anyway because I called them "ma'am", "sir" or "hon". (Those are all polite forms of address where I grew up and still live. 
)
)3 people like this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
13 Nov 17
When we lived in Jersey City for two years when I was 13, I hated how the sales clerks called me Girly. It seemed insulting or rude. Here in this part of the southern US, most adults are addressed by people younger than them as Miss (first name) or Mr (first name.) It's more of a friendly, but respectful way of talking to adults, rather than calling them Mr or Mrs (last name) which is more formal.
Of course, most everyone is younger than me, so I'm called Miss Vicki all the time! I don't mind being called friend here on myLot because I think it's a cultural thing to show good manners.
Also, being call Mam is a sign of respect. As in Yes mam and No mam. Unfortunately, it's becoming a thing of the past.
7 people like this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@TheHorse Some still say that. One time my husband told our son in law (from Pittsburgh) to go over yonder. He still doesn't know where yonder is.
2 people like this
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
13 Nov 17
YES! "Miss" is only something you call a woman when it's paired with her name, otherwise it's a dismissive term. "Ma'am" is a respectful word that people in my current area are afraid to say because they think it implies that a woman is old.
4 people like this
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
13 Nov 17
I think it stems from where I grew up, but "ma'am" works for me. Sometimes people think they're being polite when they call me "miss", but I am neither a child nor a subordinate.
My partner calls strangers "chief".
7 people like this
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
14 Nov 17
@TheHorse I'm not sure where "chief" comes from, but it's similar to using "boss". I should ask him where he picked it up.
3 people like this
@xFiacre (12966)
• Ireland
13 Nov 17
@thehorse someone called me today from the company I have my car insured with and asked if I preferred to be called by my personal or family name. I was quite taken aback but pleased that they didn't presume to first name me as most callers do.
6 people like this
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
13 Nov 17
@TheHorse Thanks for the mention. It doesn't make much sense if I tell you what I want to be called and am called in real life as nobody from this site shares my real life. I can honestly say that I'm glad that I don't live in the USA. I don't know what I'd do to a stranger calling me "sweetie", "honey", "love" or "deary"!
I don't care a gnat's fart (I've learnt this expression from native speakers of English) that in certain countries it is a cultural thing to call people one doesn't know 'friend'. I'm not an Asian and I don't live in Asia. Why do so many Asians who (more often than not) could be my grandsons/daughters think they can assimilate me into their culture? There's one member on this site who succeeds in cramming the word 'friend' at least three times into a comment of two and a half lines. I *never* like his posts or comment on them.
I've already written a post on the topic. I'm adding the link for further information.
INTRODUCTION Mylot is an international site spanning the globe. What we learn from reading discussions is that basically people are people. They're born, live...
7 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
13 Nov 17
People can call me anything they want too @TheHorse ; even the "B" word, because it fits. 
6 people like this
I believe I will just keep calling you Nanette or hon, if that is alright? @DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@CoralLevang I didn't think you would tolerate anything besides Coral or hon... 
and now, I am a bit worried about calling you "hon"!
and now, I am a bit worried about calling you "hon"!
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@CoralLevang K. I call you Coral most of the time, anyway.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Nov 17
Not much bothers me, but being called sir definitely does, as I'm definitely not. I prefer being called by my full name, Valerie. I really don't like it shortened. I get called 'friend' a lot, and I have a feeling it's a cultural thing, as nobody in the US calls me 'friend'. Typically I don't call people here by anything other than their username. Some I have no idea what their given name is. If I know it, I might use it.
I know you don't mind being called Pony.
6 people like this
@1creekgirl (41387)
• United States
15 Nov 17
@just4him I really like your new photo, Valerie. Very chic.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (339428)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Nov 17
I'm unlikely to get 'boss' and while I'm not keen on 'friend' I can appreciate that those who use 'friend' on myLot would have no idea why it's a bit objectionable so I take it as intended - just a greeting. Maybe in their culture it is rude not to use some sort of 'name'. Some of the older guys around here call women my age 'love' but it's only because they can't remember our names! 
6 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
14 Nov 17
is 'love' an aussie thing or in the uk too?
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137257)
• United States
14 Nov 17
I've never called anyone "Love". (That just sounds funny!)
I usually can't remember people's names in real life, so call everyone "ma'am" or "sir". On myLot, what we prefer to be called is normally right in front of us, although I do sometimes call women I like, "hon".
3 people like this
@JudyEv (339428)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Nov 17
@hereandthere I think it's just Aussie. One Englishman who has lived here a long time calls everyone 'babe' which I don't like.
4 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
13 Nov 17
A few call me friend and I call them friend since we have been reading each others life since 2013, old bubble days. Here in Alabama the use of "Boss" usually shows you have been in prison. Now I have to disagree with being called "sir" making people feel old. I will answer a child with "yes sir" Here its just a sign of respect.
Online, usually I will not use anything, Unless its your name but not many use their names. I use my name so when I am rich and famous you can say " hey I used to talk to her all the time on mylot."
6 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
13 Nov 17
People can address me however they want, as far as I'm concerned. I tend to call everyone "man."
6 people like this
@TheHorse (218464)
• Walnut Creek, California
15 Nov 17
@teamfreak16 So we grew up with "man" as "casual cool."
3 people like this
@thislittlepennyearns (62056)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
13 Nov 17
The first time I read this for some reason my brain read that you get Gatorade at corner liqour stores with clients and that was weird. Lol
6 people like this
@TheHorse (218464)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Nov 17
@spiderdust I usually go with Chevron stations.
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
15 Nov 17
I think the closest place in my neighborhood to get Gatorade would also be a liquor store, although there's a Rite Aid another block away.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
14 Nov 17
Some of my myLot friends, call me differently. @ridingbet calls me My Lady. I remember she started calling me that when I had for my profile picture that one with me my head covered in a shawl. Hmm, I have to look for that picture again.
@Julito calls me lil sis. An Indian myLotter, call me bestie. Someone calls me rebel. Others calls me madam, which I found so formal . he he he
Well, whatever they call me, I am okay with it, as long as it is not something that is not nice to hear.
@Julito calls me lil sis. An Indian myLotter, call me bestie. Someone calls me rebel. Others calls me madam, which I found so formal . he he he
Well, whatever they call me, I am okay with it, as long as it is not something that is not nice to hear. 5 people like this
@rebelann (112770)
• El Paso, Texas
13 Nov 17
I tend to ignore most of those stupid idioms people come up with but when someone in a customer service position refers to me as "sweetie", "honey" or "deary" I get miffed, that is not a professional way to address a client that you do not know.
I also don't like it when waitresses use those terms unless I know them. Call me picky I guess.
When I'm out shopping and some stranger (not in a professional medium) refers to me with those idioms I just ignore them, I doubt they'll ever be a friend of mine.
5 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
15 Nov 17
@TheHorse Once when I was a salesman, there was a regional manager who called everybody "boss."
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (82690)
• United States
13 Nov 17
Mostly people here refer to me by name so it's never a problem for me. In the outside world being called mam makes me feel old.
5 people like this
