MAY AND DECEMBER

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@Kandae11 (55131)
December 4, 2017 3:55pm CST
Suppose you were in a situation where your daughter is planning to marry a man who is a couple years older than her father - what would be your reaction? You know she has always been a bit stubborn - and trying to change her mind might be impossible - so what do you do? or what can you do? Probably nothing - except acceptance . And looking on the bright side, you could invite him to Wednesday night bridge with your friends . How do you feel about May/ December relationships?
55 people like this
64 responses
Laurel (L_B)
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
4 Dec 17
My future son in law is only seven years younger then me. My daughter has always been very mature. They are prefect for each other. I am happy for them. My niece married a man who was a few years older then her Dad.
13 people like this
Laurel (L_B)
@Happy2BeMe (99380)
• Canada
4 Dec 17
@Kandae11 yes that is true
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
Those relationships do work when true love is involved. Those who marry for various other reasons invariable end up unhappy.
6 people like this
hanan ifergan
@ifergan7 (2)
•
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 ???? 27/5000 I certainly agree with this view
2 people like this
Judy Evans
@JudyEv (341824)
• Rockingham, Australia
4 Dec 17
There is no accounting for what attracts one person to another. Sometimes such age difference have no impact on the relationship. I guess it just takes a bit of getting used to.
8 people like this
Timea
@tzwrites (4835)
• Romania
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 I think dealing with the interference would be hard but if they love each other then that love is enough
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
If the couple really wants to make it work, it should. However interference from family and friends would definitely make it harder.
4 people like this
Koalemos
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
4 Dec 17
It is impossible to have an opinion on such relationships because every one is different.
7 people like this
Koalemos
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
4 Dec 17
@Kandae11 The guitar playing Santa is one of two temporary avatars that I am using for the next week.
5 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
Love is not the main reason why some people get married - agreed. I love your avatar.
5 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
@Asylum It puts a smile on my face.
3 people like this
Always smiling
@allknowing (137605)
• India
5 Dec 17
Atleast it is not the other way around (lol)
4 people like this
Always smiling
@allknowing (137605)
• India
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 Have you read 'Thorn Birds" ?
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
The other way around would raise every eye brow.
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@allknowing l saw the series starring Richard Chamberlain on television years ago.
2 people like this
julito
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
4 Dec 17
I believe young women falling in love with old geezers are yearning for a father figure. Most likely, the young woman and her father are not close. My only daughter (got 3 sons) and I are very close with each other. We are so close with each other that she turned into man . . . she married her lady friend. And now they have a one-year-old son thru artificial insemination . . . . .She is gay.
5 people like this
julito
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
4 Dec 17
@Kandae11 She is our baby (youngest child) . .so, she is close to her mom, too. . . Here is their wedding photo . .
10 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
So, do you think it would have been different if she was closer to her mother?
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
@antonbunot Which one is your daughter?
3 people like this
John Roberts
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Dec 17
I would be the December end of such a relationship and while it would easy to fall for a May, the concept is absurd to me. Too many generational differences.
6 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
@JohnRoberts . Yes, the generation gap - clothes , music ,food , friends etc.
1 person likes this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@Hatley It doesn't always work out.
2 people like this
maezee
@maezee (41988)
• United States
5 Dec 17
It would be hard to accept but if they are in love...what else can you do?
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
Exactly.lf it turns out to be a mistake, hopefully she will learn from it.
2 people like this
Sanjeev
@sjvg1976 (41289)
• Delhi, India
5 Dec 17
Ideally I won't accept the relationship and will persuade my daughter . But if she still doesn't agree I will let her go ahead as I know once children grow up they don t listen to their parents also.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
Most parents would prefer the perfect marriage for their children, but it is really up to them to choose who they want.
2 people like this
Val
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
4 Dec 17
I think you're showing a lot of wisdom in the way you're handling it. I have no problem with such relationships, everyone is unique.
3 people like this
Val
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
4 Dec 17
@Kandae11 isn't it funny, reverse the roles and I also have my doubts. It shouldn't matter to anyone but the couple. It's their lives.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
That is probably the way I would handle it if I found myself in that situation - but I have one child - a son. If he decided to bring home a woman my age, I don't know.....
2 people like this
Alfredo Rossi
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
4 Dec 17
Thank you.Do not have any comment on this.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
Nice of you to visit still.
1 person likes this
ingrid
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
5 Dec 17
my parents are both May and December affair. what i mean is: my mother was born on May 10, 1922 while my father was born on December 24, 1922. but no, they were of the same age and not that proverbial May-December affair
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
You almost had me there okay.
2 people like this
Felicia Kane
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
5 Dec 17
As long as she is an adult, has had other experiences and knows what she is getting into, then I don't see why not. My mom had a relationship like that and there was nothing but happiness between them, it didn't last because of distance, but it was still a wonderful relationship.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
That is nice to know.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
6 Dec 17
@antonbunot Oh no! - a twenty year old ? - very bad idea.
1 person likes this
The Invisible Man
@TheInvisibleMan (17597)
•
5 Dec 17
I'm okay with those months.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
You are open minded.
3 people like this
The Invisible Man
@TheInvisibleMan (17597)
•
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 I try my best.
3 people like this
Paula Tranchina
@Ganma7 (3664)
•
5 Dec 17
2 people like this
Rhonda S.
@misunderstood_zombie (8142)
• United States
5 Dec 17
I wouldn't be happy about it, but since they are adults, I would have to accept it and hope for the best.
4 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
If her mind is made up, that's it.
1 person likes this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Dec 17
do m ot do it tats waytoo bgig an age difference yoarnets should havenever married momwas21ye qwas 51taht is a recipefor disasterforsgar gigts isery y oiu name it do nt arry someone old enough to beyour father you wlll gegrett
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
4 Dec 17
I have seen quite a few disastrous May/ December marriages - one ended in murder. However, there are others that work.
1 person likes this
vanny
@vandana7 (100546)
• India
5 Dec 17
If they care, who am I to be bothered. If they don't, then I would have a screaming and screeching session with my daughter...are you nuts, you can always earn money...you shouldn't be marrying for it. Once you realize that there is only so much money can buy ...you will be extremely unhappy.
2 people like this
vanny
@vandana7 (100546)
• India
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 Money makes a person happy ..temporarily. All that I missed, I could buy with that. But soon, I would be bored. In fact, the lure of money lasts only as long as we do not have it. Once we have it, it simply does not seem that attractive. So my daughter would need to realize that this honeymoon with money would last merely a couple of months.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
I agree, there is a big difference if she is marrying for money or position. Of course if money makes her happy, then she will be happy. However, money can be lost, but true love lasts.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@vandana7 taking his age into consideration - I expect that he would have money. Would she fall in love with and marry an elderly man who is broke? Of course, anything is possible.
2 people like this
Anna
@LadyDuck (472018)
• Switzerland
5 Dec 17
It's not always only a matter of age, not knowing the people involved it is impossible to express an opinion. The father of my husband was 25 years older than his mother. It worked for about 20 years, then they divorced.
2 people like this
Anna
@LadyDuck (472018)
• Switzerland
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 My mother-in-law complained that the difference in age was too big and her son needed a younger father. My mother-in-law father and her husband had the same age.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
Those could have been 20 good years. Some marriages that are evenly matched don't last as long.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@LadyDuck A big generation gap there. His father was like his grandfather - not too good for the child.
2 people like this
Nanette Piotrowski
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
5 Dec 17
I'd ask her if she was just nuts or looking for a Sugar Daddy @Kandae11 .
2 people like this
Nanette Piotrowski
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 More experience; longer lasting.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
From what I heard - he has a lot of money - old money. But then, she is also financially well of - so it must be love, or close enough.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@nanette64 There are some older men who can handle themselves better than some younger guys - or so I have been told.
2 people like this
LegTech
@rina110383 (24492)
•
5 Dec 17
As long as there's no existing legal impediment between the consenting parties, then it's fine with me.
3 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
No legal impediments - then It is their lives to do what suits them best.
1 person likes this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
5 Dec 17
Oh, at one time during our mini gathering. A friend said that her husband is 10 years older than her. And I was shocked. Because she is pretty. She said she was in love and now she is beginning to feel disappointed. I think your daughter made a right decision. I mean, we cannot hold their heart and we need to accept it.
2 people like this
Bhem
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
5 Dec 17
@Kandae11 Ah okay. And are you okay with that?
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
@JustBhem It would depend, I would have to first see how the two interact.
2 people like this
Kandase
@Kandae11 (55131)
•
5 Dec 17
The story isn't about me - I don't have a daughter. I have a son - and I honestly do not think I would be happy if he decided to marry a much older woman.
2 people like this