Threshold for not being nice, and beyond...

My attitude. In this case, I did not lend, my father did. He loaned my money so to speak. Broke a few plates demanding monies from me, and I gave in since he is an old man and I did not want to lose him to some stroke. The guy was to return in two months, he did not return in three years. Dad was following up everyday and not getting any reply. Then I saw his picture in whatsup in expensive restaurant. Showed dad, this is the man you were pitying. Dad said you follow up. Within a couple of months I have streamlined everything. Now the guy is terrified of me. lol. But then we have to be nasty with shrewd ones.

@vandana7 Don't give him any peace until you get it.

@Kandae11 Yeah..he is repaying..slowly but surely. He has realized I can easily take him to the court and won't hesitate in exercising those rights. Even called up his bank. He has been quietly paying since then. If the banker realizes he has been borrowing outside, bank will not loan monies to him. So he will repay my monies alright. lol

Here are my rules that I suggest you follow... If you lend in the above said manner, always pay by check. Take a promissory note and a check for the principle, and checks for interest for the period. Never...I REPEAT never give monies for reasons like that as interest free loan. The same party will borrow n number of times and will become lifetime headache. Not only they, their children will also do that. Always quote high interest so that people who are borrowing decide against it. If they borrow make sure that checks and promissory notes and interest checks are with you. Do not let them fill the dates on the checks or even amounts as checks can be dishonored and dishonor charges are high. Finally, remember promissory note validity is only 3 years from the date of execution. Therefore, renew it before the validity expires. In the present scenario, I am afraid I cannot help. I can only prevent future problems. Wait a second, was the money given in check? How old is your mom?

@vandana7 No not in check, its just given to help them in time of need as we know them from years, no check, no notes, no interest nothing.

@prashu228 Then you can kiss it goodbye.

Oh I perfectly agree with that feeling of obligation. That is why I try to return it immediately. One advantage is we don't have to remember small obligations, which can be quite a few out here. Second advantage is, we can be honest friends instead of saying yes she is right when she is wrong.

Oh yeah, that's true @vandana7 she actually offered to let me borrow her car, the idea hadn't even crossed my mind but I am grateful she did. I don't know how to repay that kind of kindness, I've tried on various occasions just to buy things for her and her hubby but she keeps trying to pay me which I keep telling her no and she hates to listen, stubborn old woman ...... yeah, I can say that even though she is younger than I.

How can you buy entire cancer treatment for a househelp's grandson? Blink. Or a laundry woman's daughter's dowry...lol. Somethings cannot be avoided out here because there is no social security to fall back upon.

Yes...that happens, does it not? It is to stop such borrowings I opted for home loans.

@vandana7 let us see if the new budget announcement regarding healthcare insurance for people below a threshold makes any difference?

@vandana7 well yes, for many of lower classes, family planning is an alien concept. Kids don't generally study beyond 10th and girls are discriminated and many girls are not even 8th pass. It's a very sorry state and state and central governments appease them for votes.

Lending is not always for earning from it. lol. Sometimes some favor is taken or anticipated. For example I am old and might die. I would need somebody to take my parent to hospital help him with his insurances and hospital bills. We have no medicare and social security forcing us to resort to a different way.

That is how I see it too! Person should be judged with small amounts, and that amount should never be increased even after knowing the honest or dishonest nature of the person.