Would you tell a friend he/she had a personal problem?
@sprite1950 (30452)
Corsham, England
March 26, 2018 1:55am CST
I used to work in an office where there were four of us. We all got on well apart from the fact one of the girls had body odour. We used to hint about deodorants and talk about which ones we used but it didn't seem to work.
Much as we liked her it got to the point where it was making us feel ill so we decided that one of us would be selected to tell her. No one wanted to but in the end I said I would do it. She was so upset and ran out of the office crying. I hated myself for that.
I'm sure we've all been in this situation but what would you do? Would you tell a friend that she smelled?
Image from Pixabay
12 people like this
10 responses
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
26 Mar 18
Yes I will tell him or her in a way that is not upsetting him or her. And of course in a private place where no one is there. Telling him or her about personal problem is also helping him or her.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
I agree although I felt horrible that she was so hurt. We didn't talk about it again and I think it harmed our friendship. I didn't see her outside work anyway but she was much quieter with me after.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
We did try and she was such a nice person. In the end it seemed to stop so I guess she was more careful afterwards.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (472124)
• Switzerland
26 Mar 18
@sprite1950 She felt offended, but she surely understood that it was not to hurt her sentiments.
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@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
@LadyDuck I don't know. We were all quite young at the time and she was the first one of us to leave. I don't think she ever felt comfortable with us after that.
2 people like this
@allknowing (137994)
• India
26 Mar 18
I have 'belled the cat' so to say. But luckily for me she took it nicely and was in fact grateful. I would be grateful too if someone pointed out things like that.
Constructive criticism is rare and whoever gets hurt with it does not know what they are missing.
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@allknowing (137994)
• India
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 There are mouth fresheners available. May be they could use them.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 That's true but sometimes if its due to bad teeth mouth fresheners don't work.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
Some people have bad breath but I would find that very hard to tell a person because it may not be so easy for them to fix.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
It's an awkward situation and no one wants to hurt a person's feelings but when it's really bad it makes people feel ill.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
@rheicel That's a shame but I think it's best that someone knows they have a problem because otherwise people talk about them and avoid them.
2 people like this
@rheicel (7065)
• Philippines
26 Mar 18
@sprite1950 My friend asked me if he made a right decision telling it because he got mad. I told him it depends on how you're going to say if you could tell him in a nice way but sadly he didn't tell him in a nice way that's why he got mad.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
26 Mar 18
That is a tough one. For me, I wont tell her since I do not have the audacity to confront her about it, UNLESS, we are really close that I need to inform her so that she will know, OTHERWISE, I would just zip my mouth and get away from her or try to give hints. 
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
I wonder whether I should have done that but the other girls were fed up with it so someone had to say something. I did it as sensitively as I could while we were on our own.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
26 Mar 18
@sprite1950 that is fine. You did a good job and you are just helping her out. If I was in her position, I would feel bad, but looking at the bigger picture, at least I am not being hated because of my attitude but because of my smell and try to do something that would eliminate my smell and have people talk to me again. Hehehe
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
@mlgen1037 I don't think she was ever the same with us again and she eventually left but maybe a fresh start is what she needed.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@Crafy117 It was a long time ago and she left her job some time after. I wonder where she is now.
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@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
I guess so but I don't think she thought so at the time,
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@Crafy117 (120)
• Philippines
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 that's just her initial reaction... don't worry she'll thank you for that ...
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
9 May 18
I used to work at a place with this guy who always took showers, but Never washed his clothes, so the smell was horrible. Smelled of old musty mildew along with BO, etc. It was grouse. Too the point no one wanted to sit next to him, or since it was a call center use his desk once he left for the day.
He rented a room so we knew money to do clothes was not the issue. People would bring him Soap, try to offer advice, etc but if you said something instead of him getting upset it made him angry so we just had to deal with it.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
10 May 18
Yes it can be awful. My granddaughter has a friend who is only 11 but she has reached puberty already and has the most terrible BO .. I have to spray the house after she has visited. Surely her mother would tell her and sort it out. I think it is in her clothes.
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
10 May 18
I don't think she was an unclean person just that she had an excess sweat problem. She was very upset after being told and we felt awful.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
10 May 18
It is embarrassing but having to sit with someone in a confined space who smells is awful. It seems to get down your throat.
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@nela13 (58710)
• Portugal
10 May 18
@sprite1950 I understand and admire your courage to speak with her.
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@sprite1950 (30452)
• Corsham, England
26 Mar 18
She was very upset which made me wonder whether I had done the right thing. We all knew it was her so no one else was suspected. It's just a hard thing to do.
1 person likes this
