Moms--What would you do if I did to your daughter what I did to this little girl today? (And a sincere question)

@TheHorse (218414)
Walnut Creek, California
April 18, 2018 8:16pm CST
In Northern California, people generally ignore those around them. But that's not the case with the littlies, who have not yet been socialized to be un-curious. About an hour ago as I stood in line at Kaiser to pick up my Thorazine, Lithium, and Wellbutrin, I spied a girl of maybe 10-months of age in a baby stroller. Her mom and big sister were with her. The baby girl was oriented such that she could see me, but her head was at an angle, relative to mine. Of course, she looked directly at me, curiosity in her eyes. I oriented my head such that our eyes were parallel. She began to smile but didn't quite. I stuck my tongue out at her, and then pretended to be sucking on something. She smiled big time. I continued to do this, and she finally laughed out loud. Neither her mom or her sister looked up. I tried peek-a-boo, but the baby girl gave me a look that said "That's so Jean Piaget. Get real." So I went back to the tongue and the sucking and she laughed out loud again. Then my name was called. As I was picking up my meds, I head the baby girl saying "Da da da!" I wondered briefly if she had a dad who played the same visual games with her. Moms, what would you do if a strange (as in a stranger) but respectable-looking man in a baseball cap started "flirting" with your infant daughter? Would you say, "Looks like someone has a young daughter!"? Would you say, "Get away from my child!"? Would you ignore the person? My sincere question: How old would you guess this baby was? I saw four lower teeth when she smiled. I never saw her upper teeth. She said "Da da da," but no words beyond that. The presence of teeth, and the presence of babbling with meaning, but no longer words, is what made me guesstimate her age at 10- or 11-months. For the record, her mom appeared to be Mexican-American, as did her sister. But the baby looked to be a tad Asian, like my (Mexican-American) baby friend from my previous job, who was probably just short of two when I snapped the picture I'll use.
28 people like this
26 responses
@jstory07 (139454)
• Roseburg, Oregon
19 Apr 18
I would watch you closely if it was my cute child.
6 people like this
@jstory07 (139454)
• Roseburg, Oregon
19 Apr 18
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
@jstory07 Or maybe not. Be back soon. I have to converse with the voices in my head right now. And then go to Trader Joe's.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
If it was my cute child (as a dad), I'd probably engage the guy or gal in friendly conversation, in part to assess whether they're a "cool person" or a weirdo. Needless to say, the meds I said I was getting were a joke.
4 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
19 Apr 18
I often find small children in strollers or backpacks staring (maybe it's my bald head) and often make faces to make them smile. This is usually from across a room or a checkout stand. I would hesitate to get any closer than the chance encounter. I am not a good judge of small kids ages though.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
It makes something fun that might have been boring. Had the mom looked at me I might have said, "I think we are having a conversation." Have she seemed concerned, I probably would have thown out a "I actually tell my classses at DVC about his. If you do funny mouth stuff around a baby, they'll be interested and often smile." Her natural response would be "Oh, you teach at DVC?" and the conversation would go on from there. I would no longer be a "threat."
3 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse There you go...
3 people like this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
19 Apr 18
I probably would have smiled at you and maybe spoken, but kept a certain distance just because it seems like there are so many wierd people any more. I tend to make faces at babies and toddlers, too, just to see if they will smile. I am female, so Moms usually ignore me.
5 people like this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse I don't know for sure, but I assume that's it.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Why do you think they ignore you? Oh, because women love babies and are usually not a "threat"?
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
@peavey Were I a parent of a tiny one, I'd probably flash them that parent smile.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
19 Apr 18
I probably would have engaged you in conversation....I tend to strike up conversations with strangers.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
So do I. But some people here in California find that strange.
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
21 Apr 18
@TheHorse I'm sure there are people who think I'm strange...but I'm okay with that.
@JudyEv (339355)
• Rockingham, Australia
19 Apr 18
The age sounds about right. I wouldn't have minded someone pulling faces at my kids. Vince still does it albeit with much more caution than he once did.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Why the increased caution?
4 people like this
@JudyEv (339355)
• Rockingham, Australia
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse Because so many are now paranoid about child molesters.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26659)
• Singapore
19 Apr 18
I am drawn to babies like a magnet and I forget myself at times. I used to carry them around years ago but now times have changed and people are no more trusting. Some babies in prams turn back to look at me if I acknowledge them. I tell myself it should be due to some past connection. We were touched when others showered attention on our son when he was little. I feel sad when parents seem to be preoccupied with gadgets to the extent of ignoring their children. Babies mean love and they reciprocate to our attention with interest - siva
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100214)
• India
21 Apr 18
@LilyBeBack I adore little children till around six or seven. I can do other things later. LOL
3 people like this
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 18
I used to think it was terrible when I saw a parent using their phone instead of talking to their child, then I had my son and I realise that a parent is lucky to get one moment in the day to do necessary things such as sending emails, etc. I'm on my own with my son and I don't have broadband, and little to no mobile reception in my house, so the only chance I have to do things like that is when I'm out of the house and my son's preoccupied with something else.
4 people like this
@Shiva49 (26659)
• Singapore
20 Apr 18
@LilyBeBack I understand. Anyway, you take good care of your son and have a valid reason to do your own thing. I was highlighting some who overindulge in their gadgets to the extent of being oblivious to their wards -siva
4 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47242)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Apr 18
You take Thorazine, Lithium, and Wellbutrin and still manage to hold down a job? Wow!
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47242)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Apr 18
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Heh. Glad you caught that. But the rest of the post was legit.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
@rebelann (112770)
• El Paso, Texas
19 Apr 18
I don't have kids but I would have looked at you just to get a scope of what you may be like and if I thought you were harmless I would allow my child to "flirt" with you. Many of the hispanic babies I've seen always seem aloof.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Interesting! Do they get enough attention from their parents? This baby seemed ready for "conversation."
2 people like this
@rebelann (112770)
• El Paso, Texas
19 Apr 18
I honestly wouldn't know the answer to that @TheHorse but from the families I do know their babies are the center of everyone's attention.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
@rebelann I suppose they're familiar with even strangers goo gooing over their babies.
2 people like this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
19 Apr 18
My husband likes to interact with all small children, since we don't have any little people anymore. He loves kids. I sometimes worry in this day and age what people will think of that. It doesn't worry me when it's the child of a friend or acquaintance in a place like a home or at church, but I'm not sure it's wise for him to do that with children who don't know him. One has to practically walk on eggshells these days -- especially men!
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Apr 18
@TheHorse It's a shame people are getting afraid to express affection to others now -- especially since it's been proved that touch is affirming and healing when the motivation is right. And people can tell if a hug is not right. I guess it's better to ask rather than assume these days.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Apr 18
Heh. I reckon you're from the US. And probably California. Let me check. Ah, yes.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Apr 18
@bagarad I hug my musician friends pretty freely. If some are a tad uncomfortable, I give them a "Seinfeld hug." The children I work with are hug monsters. They understand the power of a hug.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (60929)
• Centralia, Washington
19 Apr 18
My husband loves to make weird frog noises at all babies.
4 people like this
@sallypup (60929)
• Centralia, Washington
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse They kind of stare.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Do they laugh?
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
19 Apr 18
It's one of the sad facts of modern life that a lone gentleman is often seen as a threat to children. I once discovered a lost little girl about 4 years of age walking out of a shop in a shopping precinct. I'm ashamed to say I actually hesitated before going to speak to her. Even after i did establish she was lost the first thing i did was ask a passing woman to stand with her while I went to get one of the precinct staff. There was no way I was going to walk off with her to find someone who could help!!
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
20 Apr 18
@thehousewife Ta very much m'lady!! I think anyone who has been in your situation would do their utmost to re-unite a lost child with their family. It's just, as a man these days, you really do have to be very careful. I remember an old man who lived at the bottom of my street when i was a kid. He used to always watch us playing football in the street and would chat to us about football and he'd bring us cold drinks out from his house on hot days. Basically he was just a harmless, lonely old man. He'd probably be branded a pervert and a paedophile these days.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Apr 18
@Morleyhunt Has it been written? I'll Czech.
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
19 Apr 18
Thank you! You have just inspired my next post.
2 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
21 Apr 18
Way back when my kids were little and people would do what you did I would smile and start up a conversation. Not every one is the same though. I talk to everyone.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
I actually think that's profoundly good for the child. Hearing language is good for babies, whether we sing to them, talk to them, or let them hear (appropriate) adult conversation.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
@ramapo17 Babies are my favorites for grocery store antics. But I talk to 4-yer-olds when they start telling me their life story as well. Being around conversation is good for kids' language development.
2 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
1 Sep 18
@TheHorse You are very right. I think if parents shelter their children to much the kids will grow up being afraid of everything. I do the same thing if I see little kids that catch my eye. Some young ones just draw us into them.
2 people like this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
19 Apr 18
I would have let you make her laugh, I would have just watched to make sure you were safe.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
I was hoping the mom would smile at me. I think she and her daughter (about 4) were glued to their cell phones. That's why I was able to take the baby home with me. We're playing with blocks now.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Apr 18
@cintol Thanks. I have her doing small puzzles now. She's a bright little thing!
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse Haha, people are so involved in their phones every where they go, no one pays attention to whats going on around them anymore. Have fun with those blocks lol
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
19 Apr 18
As long as you kept your distance, I'm ok! Usually my husband or I talk to whoever shows interest in our kids. Its something about babies that generally calls peoples attention!
3 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Oh, I agree. Babies (once they get past the red and wrinkled stage) are cute, and invite attention.
2 people like this
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
19 Apr 18
I really agree with you.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
@caopaopao God or nature "designed" babies to be cute, so they'd get the attention they need.
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
19 Apr 18
As long as I was with her I would not care. But when my daughter was little we was going for a walk she was in her stroller and see was waving at something I didn’t know it until I heard a horn I looked up and there was a fire truck waving and pointing at her.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81899)
• Onaway, Michigan
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse No she wasn’t even One.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
@Tina30219 Oh! Maybe the firemen were waving at you!
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Was she old enough to appreciate it?
@LadyDuck (471253)
• Switzerland
19 Apr 18
I would keep an eye on my child and I would ask the person if he has kids, just to start a conversation.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (471253)
• Switzerland
21 Apr 18
@TheHorse Talking with someone gives you a better idea which kind of person he/she is.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
@LadyDuck Exactly. It's not that hard to tell if one is "appropriate" or not. I've known parents who cursed around their kids and then wondered why their kids grew up swearing.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Apr 18
That sounds sensible to me.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Apr 18
As long as I was there watching you, I wouldn't mind at all. Just don't make the baby cry! lol
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Apr 18
I tend to make babies laugh.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Apr 18
@DianneN I'm not sure where it comes from. Is it my education? Is it from seeing all living beings as potential friends? I'm not sure.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
20 Apr 18
@TheHorse You have a gift!
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
19 Apr 18
That is so cute. I do that too so I wouldnt mind. As long as no one is hurting my baby, that is. Hehehe
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
Do strangers goo goo over each others' babies in the Philippines? It can be kind of an excuse to interact in a joyous way.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
@mlgen1037 I love it when I see that.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse Yes, they do. And you see the babies talking to each other. Really cute.
1 person likes this
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
19 Apr 18
I always watched my babies intently when a stranger approached them or was communicating with them. (This was well before the advent of cell phones and androids) I never minded this. It always seemed innocent.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 18
@TheHorse I'd pretend I was in a rush to get to an appointment
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Apr 18
@LilyBeBack This woman was trapped, waiting for her meds, though.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
I wonder what I'd do if a drunk or a schizophrenic in full bloom interacted with my child. I'd want to protect them but also wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
1 person likes this
@Chazzygal (452)
• Botswana
19 Apr 18
i see no problem with that i mean its not like you were too close to the child or went to the child so i see no harm in that. i wouldn't also call it flirting, to play with an 11 month old baby from a distance unless this continued and you came closer, i mean one can never be too sure.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218414)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Apr 18
I agree. I stole the term "flirting" from Alison Gopnik, a UC Berkeley Developmental Psychology professor who used it in a presentation.
1 person likes this
• Botswana
19 Apr 18
@TheHorse ha ha ha!
1 person likes this