30 Year Old Man Will Not Move Out of Parents Home
@DeborahDiane (40321)
Laguna Woods, California
May 22, 2018 5:59pm CST
We have an unbelievable story occurring right now in the United States. The parents of a 30 year-old man in Syracuse, New York refuses to move out his parents' home, even after they have given him five written notices and offered to give him $1100 a month to help with expenses. He took the first $1100 from them, but still did not move out.
Despite their pleas and the offer of money, he refuses to leave their home. He does not help with chores. They say he is also very disrespectful towards them. He barely speaks to them.
The judge ordered the man to move out. He still refuses and has said he will appeal the judge's decision.
Back in the 1990s, when I was a Realtor, I had clients who sold their beautiful four bedroom home and moved into a very small one-bedroom condo in another city. I didn't understand why they did it until two years later when they called me, said their kids were now self-supporting, and they wanted to move back into a home. In other words, they had to move in order to get rid of their kids!
I guess some kids are hard to get rid of. Glad I never had that problem!
37 people like this
37 responses
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
23 May 18
Thats is so true po. It is uncommon here since parents would even tell their children to stay with then.
6 people like this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
23 May 18
@mlgen1037 yeah right, some parents ask not only their children to stay but at times the whole family especially when they like the in-laws and fall in love with their grandchild or grandchildren.
6 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
23 May 18
@louievill Yes, they do that here. One big happy family. 
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
23 May 18
I had my son and grandson with me for 10 years and then my daughter and her family for 2 and I love it but I knew they would move out and we all chipped in to do chores. My big old house feels empty with just us and the dogs, I need to get some kids back in lol
7 people like this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane I saw him on TV today, what a loser he is.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@BelleStarr - I understand. We had one daughter and her two kids that lived with us for a while after a divorce. However, this man does not help his parents. On the news, he kept referring to them and "those people." He doesn't contribute either money or effort. They want him out, and I think they should not have had to ask him twice ... let alone five times!
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@BelleStarr - Yes, this guy is definitely a loser. He still has not moved out, even after the judge ordered it. I think he is treating his parents very badly. He even referred to them as "those people" rather than as his parents. They must be very hurt and disappointed by his behavior.
1 person likes this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
23 May 18
That is very normal for Filipinos but the only thing is the child who does not leave must help with the expenses, help with the maintenance of the house, help with household chores and take care of the parents especially in their old age ( Filipinos do not put parents in homes, we take care of them to the end) Our culture is a bit different 
7 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@louievill - I would agree that it would be OK for an adult child to live with parents, if he was helping to take care of them. This man does not even speak to his parents, he does not help them, he does not check on them. He is also reported to be rude to them. They are taking care of him, and they want that to stop. I am sympathetic towards them.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@Herlyn123 - Yes, I think it is very nice when adult children take care of the parents. The Philippines is very nice about that.
2 people like this
@Herlyn123 (374)
•
23 May 18
That is what makes the country attractive to old people from other side of the world. They wanted to stay in the Philippines for them to have someone to take good care of them.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29413)
• Eugene, Oregon
23 May 18
That is a strange one. Most kids are eager to strike out on their own.
6 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@JamesHxstatic - I agree. Most kids can hardly wait to be on their own. This man needs to get with it and move out. It is outrageous that he is taking advantage of his parents this way.
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@lnillerman - I agree that this young man is behaving in a very disrespectful way.
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
23 May 18
they offer him money, to leave, when he doesn't help them out AND is disrespectful 
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@Courtlyn - Yes, his behavior is outrageous. He even took the money they offered him, then didn't move. The parents want their son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@lnillerman - I agree his behavior is very wrong.
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
23 May 18
lol! I know someone who was like that. Once the parents were both deceased he became a live in guest to his siblings. I never could understand why someone wouldn't get a job and do their own thing. Like seriously???
I was working in my early teens, going to college at 16, and paying towards a mortgage at 18. Was a home owner by 22!
6 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@Daelii - I have always been much more like you. I do not understand why someone can behave like this young man and feel OK with themselves.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@Daelii - I agree! I'm sure all his friends are living independently, too. It is time for him to behave like an adult. He will be much better off if he does!
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5619)
• United States
23 May 18
@DeborahDiane me neither! You figured as an adult when your brothers and sisters kids are getting jobs, going to college, getting married, having babies etc it would be time to get a job or do something with your life?
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472078)
• Switzerland
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane I have checked the law in Italy. The parents can ask their children to leave the house, but they are obliged to maintain them until they reach financial independence. The parents must leave a "reasonable" time to their children to leave the house (at least 3 months). If the children do not go, they can ask a lawyer to take care of the matter. The waiting in Italy to have a decision from the court is at least 3 years... good luck to the parents.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@LadyDuck - In this case, the parents want him to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge, because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want him there and if he is being helpful and pleasant. If not, he needs to get his own place.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (108196)
• Marion, Ohio
23 May 18
Their first mistake was offering to pay him to move out. I would have tossed all belongings and him to the curb. Not saying my adult kids cant live with me. But they would be helping around the house and also actively looking for a job.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@wolfgirl569 - I agree! I would never have let my adult children treat me the way this man is treating his parents. As far as I'm concerned, he can live in his car until he finds another place to live. They should not have to put up with a rude free-loader under their roof for one minute longer than they want to.
1 person likes this
@rakski (126031)
• Philippines
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane that is true. Usually, if other children still lives with the parents, they share paenta with billsnor other expenses.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May 18
@rakski - Yes, that is the fair thing to do. Everyone must help in the household.
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@rakski - In the Philippines, the adult children are usually helpful. In this case, the parents want him to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge, because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want him there and if he is being helpful and pleasant. If not, he needs to get his own place.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (61643)
• Centralia, Washington
23 May 18
I feel bad about it even now but we couldn't keep paying our daughter's way. She started scouting around for ways to bring in money when she still had a couple of years of high school to go through. She tried to come home when there was an issue at the university dorms but hubby said NO! You work it out there and don't try to come back.
3 people like this
@sallypup (61643)
• Centralia, Washington
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane The parents should have started teaching their son to stand up and do things around the house when he was quite young. I wonder if the husband does chores and helps with cooking??
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May 18
@sallypup - That is a good question. I agree that parents need to teach their children to do chores when they are young. Even my daughter who has three pre-schoolers has a "chore chart" for them. It has pictures of different chores, like picking up toys or making their bed. Even though they don't do a good job, she thinks it is important to get them started.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@sallypup - Sometimes you have to insist your kids stand on their own two feet. In the long run, they will be better off for it. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@KristenH - I agree that he needs his own place. The parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@lnillerman - Yes, he is being very rude and disrespectful.
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@just4him - I agree he is not acting like a son. He is not acting like a man either, although he is 30 years old. It must be very stressful for the parents to have him under their roof, or they would not have gone to this extreme. It is a shame.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@just4him - Yes, this guy just wants to sponge off his parents. It is unfair for them to have that burden. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, by helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317238)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane Yes, it is. I didn't mind my son living with me, but he was helpful. This guy isn't and is only a sponge to their son.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
23 May 18
@DeborahDiane
Here we have some kids live with their parents till they get married. I have read before about parents selling their place and moving into a smaller place so their kids cannot move back home.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@Hannihar - I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, but they have to be helpful and contribute to the household. This man does not do that. I'm glad I'm not the only one to know people who moved to smaller places so their kids could not move back home!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@Hannihar - That is what the judge ordered, but the man still has not moved out. He just refuses to go. I don't know if they will have to get the police to remove him, or what. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, but helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane
I read this morning that the parents won the case and the son has to move out.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (35744)
•
23 May 18
What is this squatter's rights? Unbelievable....Can't the parents have the police remove him. The house is not in his name.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@dgobucks226 - The parents may eventually have to get the police involved. He is still living there, even after the judge ordered him to move. They must be terribly hurt by his behavior. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, but helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223802)
• Chile
23 May 18
I would not mind having my grownup daughters living with me, providing they helped out with the chores and financially. And providing too that I go on being the head of the house.
2 people like this
@marguicha (223802)
• Chile
23 May 18
@DeborahDiane I understand that the adult children live with their parents if it is for mutual benefit. I would live forever with a disabled child, no matter what his age. Or if they are in any need, I would have them here as I know that they would take me into their home if needed. But adults are adults. And old people need rest.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@marguicha - I agree that those are reasonable expectations. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@marguicha - Yes, I agree that it would be much different if he was disabled or there was some other reason he could not move out. It would also be different if he was kind and helpful towards his parents. This is not the situation, however.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
24 May 18
It really depends on the family, most people have no problem with kids home.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13454)
• United States
26 May 18
@DeborahDiane It didn't seem like he was helpful
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
26 May 18
@CookieMonster46 - No, he refused to help his parents at all ... not with chores, not financially. What a loser.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@CookieMonster46 - Yes, in many cases it is fine. However, I think most parents want their adult children to contribute to the household, help with chores, and respect their parents. This man is doing none of those things.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (121729)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 May 18
It doesn't help that we have created a society where our children cannot afford college, or if they do go to college, can't get a job after graduating and are saddled with tens of thousands of dollars of debt. Not much of an incentive for kids to want to move out!
Thankfully, things were much different when I came of age. I couldn't wait to get out of my parents house and have my own freedom!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121729)
• Gainesville, Florida
29 May 18
@DeborahDiane My daughter is doing something very similar. She has earned a scholarship to pay for her tuition and books, but will live out home to save on the cost of room and board. I would have loved for her to live on campus in a dorm to get the full experience of going away to college, but I understand the reality of today's world, and know that she is making a smart choice to live at home to save money.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (121729)
• Gainesville, Florida
29 May 18
@DeborahDiane Between Pell grants and working full-time through college, it was only at the very end that I had to take out student loans to finish off school, and even with the small amount of debt I had I was panicking about having to start off my adult life with debt. So I can empathize with today's students, who must be absolutely terrified of the prospect of such debt.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
27 May 18
@moffittjc - You are absolutely right. When I went to college, it was very affordable and my part-time campus job covered most of my expenses. Today, only the richest children are able to graduate debt free. Our granddaughter who has been accepted by Cal State Long Beach this fall is going to commute the 20 miles from her mother's home, because she does not want to go into debt to cover the cost of living in a dorm. She earned a scholarship to cover the tuition, but not the cost of a dorm. I would love for her to have the dorm experience, but it just isn't worth it for her to be saddled with two decades of debt.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247184)
• United States
23 May 18
Glad I never had that problem either, although our younger son and his bride have been living in our house since February. He sold his house and rather than have him rent while looking for their dream home, we offered our house while we were in Florida. The kids found their dream home in our town just two miles away from us!!!!
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@DianneN - That is wonderful that your son and his wife will be near you. One of our daughters and her two teenage kids live just seven miles from us, and we see them once or twice a week. I think that is great! That daughter and her kids lived with us for a while when she moved to our area, too, until she started her new job and had time to find a place. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
Yes, there are families here in the United States where several generations live together, but usually they all contribute to the family in some way ... financially, or by doing chores, etc. This man doesn't want to help in any way!
1 person likes this
@nela13 (58710)
• Portugal
25 May 18
@DeborahDiane If adults live with their parents they should help and contribute to the family. Yes, that boy doesn't help his parents and worst he is rude to them.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
23 May 18
That man irresponsible and is only there for the convenience.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May 18
@mlgen1037 - You are right. He is being irresponsible and is only staying for his convenience, not to help his family. Such a shame.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40321)
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May 18
@mlgen1037 - Yes, this is a very sad case. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, by helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
24 May 18
@DeborahDiane It is indeed. Imagine his parents even sued him but nothing. 
1 person likes this
