When your teenage daughter is unforgiving and refuses to talk to you for a week or more than a week, what do you do ?
By RosieS
@proseprity68 (331)
United States
September 12, 2018 4:56pm CST
Yes, it is a week now that my daughter avoids me and refuses to talk to me.
I don't what else to do.
I actually started packing a week's clothes because I feel that my presence annoys her now, now that she is a teenager.
I know I never spoiled her but never neglected her either.
My older sister is so far from me, half a world away from me, both our parents have been long gone.
It just really breaks my heart thinking that tomorrow is never promised.
I wish for my remaining years that we could spend a little bit more time together, specially my husband is at work most of the day.
My heart is just really heavy right now.
I have been crying on & off, even earlier when I was packing a week's clothes.
9 people like this
9 responses
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
12 Sep 18
Teenagers. Dont let her behaviour drive you out of your own home. That gives her the power over you.
My daughter didn't speak to me for well over 5 years. From the age of 17 to 23. I gave her that space, respected her feelings and now we are closer than we ever were.
3 people like this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
12 Sep 18
wow, you are tough Mom. You are blessed.
I think I just really love too much that I feel that I need to go away.
On top of that my husband who is not her biological father is not that supportive of me when it comes to my daughter.
When I talk to him about my daughter, he would be either quiet r have something negative to say, when in fact his grown up kids have issues too.
This is why I just to just take off, even for a week.
Reading what you shared just now, somehow has built something positive in my heart & mind.
thank you ~hugs~
* now I am teary eyed again
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
13 Sep 18
Give her some space. Don't take it personally. Be available, but don't take offense it there is no communication. I have five children....they all survived their teen years..,.i survived it as well.
3 people like this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
14 Sep 18
A beautiful update...
My precious daughter has come to her senses and I am thankful that I took good advices about not giving up on her. I am thankful I did not.
3 days ago, she made me a special sushi for lunch.
That just really melted my heart.
I would say that I was and will always be the happiest mom in this world
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
12 Sep 18
Be strong. Never give up on her. Just give her a little more space and time that she needs. I know its hard and it hurts a lot but you have to be stronger.
1 person likes this
@cherigucchi (14876)
• Philippines
13 Sep 18
@proseprity68 Its a good thing that you are reaching out for help. Keep on doing that. It is also a good sign that you acknowledge the signs and you are working on them by trying to find reasons behind what is happening. God bless your heart.
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
13 Sep 18
@cherigucchi There was actualy a time I already questioned my sanity.
This month I decided this it, I need to know and know through medical assessment if I am about to lose my sanity because of the negativity happening between my husband and me and me and my daughter.
I am happy I made the decision to just really go and see a talk therapist.
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
12 Sep 18
Good thing I started to have talk therapy which actually needed to be done because of the relationship between my husband and me, it's not that great, this is another story.
But yeah, I have been going to a talk therapist which has been making me feel and think a little bit better now.
I can't just unload not so good things o my teen age daughter, that's a little bit too much for her.
I think this is is also the reason why my so called best friend didn't have anything to do with me anymore, she unfriended me in Facebook.
I think I became a burden to her, specially that she is really rich now and is happy currently with her new found love.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51365)
• Canada
13 Sep 18
Those teenage years can be so brutal.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this, it can be rough.
Try to give her some independence but try to gain a common ground of communication and some good house rules.
Believe it or not, by the time they reach about 18 or 19 they are usually out of the worst and if you're lucky you'll find that you've got a beautiful young adult in your family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (51365)
• Canada
14 Sep 18
@proseprity68 Suggest a girl's night and try to do things like that going forward.
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
14 Sep 18
I am so thankful for well thought of advices from the earlier good hearted people who empathized with me including you right now.
One common advice was never give up on her and I am thankful I did not or else I would have regreted it.
Just a short update... 3 days ago, she made an effort by making me special sushi for lunch.
Her effort melted my heart because I know she has come to her senses
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@Juliaacv
I was thinking of bringing her to the mall and experience the massage chair :-)
Also, I would like her to experience foot spa at home using good smelling epson salt varieties while we have the face mask :-)
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
13 Sep 18
So sorry to hear that you haven't talked to your daughter, and that you're hurt.
Maybe you shouls sit her down, as you are the parent, and try to talk to her about what you might have done to make it this way, or what can be done to fix it.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67080)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@proseprity68 I get not wanting to cause more issues and stuff.. but still, she's just a child and you're the parent so a talk should be done.
I'm glad she did that for you though.
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
17 Sep 18
@Courtlynn
I think she has learned her lesson not to just react to something that is not really that serious or something that is petty for us adults.
I also have been making sure that the type of language I use is halfway understandable to both of us, not just for me or me using the language that most teens are using.
Yes, I am glad that she did what she did and I claim that she will remain to be as sweet as she was when she was younger.
1 person likes this
@everwonderwhy (7376)
•
13 Sep 18
It's very sad that this teenage calamity is giving you so much heartache. Let's just hope that your daughter is not in so much trouble by wrong decisions she made that she doesn't want to tell you about or is hiding from you about.
Stay put at home. Don't run away from home-- that's your house you work so hard to pay mortgage for-- in which your daughter thinks is so independent and foolish to own your life and space in your own home! If she's that arrogant and prideful, get her to work her way to pay rent and food. You deserve respect and honor she must address you!
Be strong. Get busy with things you love doing and earning money for. Don't give her money without her working hard for it. Go to a beauty parlour and treat yourself lavishly. Prepare nice nutritious meals at home (for your own nourishment to battle with the stress she's causing you). And if your arrogant daughter comes to the table or not, that's her consequence or blessing to enjoy the food you worked with your hands.
Show your daughter you are not afraid of her. It should be the other way around. She should respect you and honor you.
I have seven children (30- 12). And I do not allow them to stress me. I do not allow them to disrespect me nor dishonor me.
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
13 Sep 18
Thank you for this very reflective response.
Just so others would know too.
My daughter has been bullied for 3 years, on & off while she was still in a public school.
then 2 years ago, her good friend, together with her mom and 3 sisters were shot and killed by their own father.
This year she attempted to reconnect with her biological father whom she thought was a good man, ridiculed her and was just plain nasty and was not even supportive of her dreams, who even called her ugly.
She tried to reach out and make friends here, but all she got was rejection and coldness and so she decided that, that was it for now.
I can't blame her.
All these hurts and pains shattered my heart and I guess this is the reason why having a talk therapist now helps me a lot, I would say.
1 person likes this
@everwonderwhy (7376)
•
13 Sep 18
@proseprity68 Thank you. You have given me more insight about what's happening to your precious daughter.
This is the time that you-- her very best friend and #1 supporter and mother who loves her, must be very strong in times of fear, uncertainty and friendship that she can rely upon.
Stay strong. Be the strong shoulder whom she can cry on when the time comes she would be ready to be needing someone-- and it would be you. Her mother.
Do you both have time to travel on a holiday, as an excursion? Your homeschooling schedule would be good to have that special trip. Do you have a Christian homeschooling network or community where you can find support and friendship?
Does she love to write? Paint? Singing?
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@everwonderwhy Thank you for your heartwarming message
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
4 Dec 18
My daughter in law has two teenage girls. I hear and see them treat her badly from time to time. One of them has really settled out nicely, but the oldest one is still trying to offend and hurt her mom. Girls can be so mean.
1 person likes this
@proseprity68 (331)
• United States
5 Dec 18
It's so heartbreaking for a mom when her only child or children will be mean, rude, disrespectful.
This makes a mom question her character as a good mom, specially knowing that she has been good mom to her only daughter or daughters.
I ahve been through that, obviously and like I said, I did a little bit of everything, research to understand why she might have been acting the way she has been, asking mothers with a little bit older or grown up daughters and definitely, I have been constantly praying that the Holy Spirit will enlighten her heart and mind and that The Holy Spirit will stay in her heart for the rest of her life.
I really hope and pray that the eldest daughter of your daughter in law will come to her senses and realize that she is shattering her mom's heart and making her mom question her character as a mom.
@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
14 Sep 18
@proseprity68 I am so happy to hear that this may be resolving itself. Welcome and keep going my friend.
1 person likes this
