Has anyone here experienced difficulties letting go of the past?
By Teddy
@ColdFlame (109)
Bulgaria
October 12, 2018 9:11am CST
Yup, we all make our own decisions and hopefully for most of you, rarely end up feeling any bad consequences from them. I was in a long relationship ( lasted 5 years)... It ended up leaving both me and my ex bitter towards one another. I still really care for him and a part of me still goes back to the sweet memories we've had together. Why is it so difficult to just let go of those, when it's obvious that we are now only hurting each other? I really feel easily hurt by him and I believe it's the same for him.
We are both trying to be friends, but of course it's pretty difficult with all the pain we've caused to one another.
I feel bad for how it all went down, when years ago things were different.
Do you guys have something in your past that keeps pulling you back occupying your mind and just leaves you wondering?
4 people like this
2 responses
@pinoycity (575)
• Philippines
13 Oct 18
I believe its impossible to forget the past. Question is, how do we handle the past? Do we still get hurt when we remember the past or do we laugh when we remember the mistakes and the heartbreaks we experienced in the past?
1 person likes this
@ColdFlame (109)
• Bulgaria
13 Oct 18
Yes, the past will always be there, it plays a huge role of making us who we are. For now the memories of that past leave me nostalgic, sad and angry, hopefully with time it will only be seen as pleasant memories.
1 person likes this
@pinoycity (575)
• Philippines
18 Oct 18
@ColdFlame Someone said, let yourself grieve, be sad, be angry. It what makes you human. But dont dwell on these emotions for a bit too long. I always believe humans were made to be happy. Easy to say though, hard to do.
1 person likes this
@ColdFlame (109)
• Bulgaria
18 Oct 18
@pinoycity yes, I agree and that is kind of my problem, that I dwell a bit too much in the past for quite a while.
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
14 Oct 18
Yes the past has pulled me back so many times, but what I learned over the years is that if I make the present my anchor, then the pull becomes less and less painful. Nothing truly goes away completely, but my focus isn't there anymore. Like anything, it took practice of shifting focus. Maybe doing that will help you. Focus on all the good things in life right now for which you are grateful. Maybe stop focusing on that relationship which isn't good for any of you, and you know that, no matter how much your heart yearns for the past. Sometimes, the best thing is to move on. After a few years, it will all seem like a distant memory.
1 person likes this
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
15 Oct 18
@ColdFlame Give it time, and continuously make a conscious effort to shift your focus in life. First it will be a chore, after a few days it will become habit like anything else. And never ever let anything from the past get in the way of your present happiness. I wish you all the success and prosperity in life. Keep believing in yourself! 
@ColdFlame (109)
• Bulgaria
14 Oct 18
That is true! Thank you for these words. I'm aware of it, but it's nice to have a reminder of where my focus should be! I keep trying to place my focus on the present, as I have a truly caring and loving boyfriend that is simply amazing and I wish I would be my usual self with him, so that I give 100% to this relationship, but the past is still affecting me. I know that in few years it will all fade, but I really wish it didn't hurt me now and I could be at a better state with my current boyfriend. 
1 person likes this
