So I started to write a story a few years back.

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I started this a while ago and got really stuck on it, I am going to put chapter one here and would love your honesty about it if you find it crap or what you would change on it I would love to know. this goes to chapter 14 but I won't bore you with all that unless you want to Story OMG do I really have to spend possibly a year of my life here. I hope the first six weeks fly over so that I can make excuses not to come back. Why do I have to be residential I only live down the road and it doesn’t look like a friendly place. I mean come on. That had being my first impression of Finchale training college. The job centre had sent me here to do a rehab course to start with, with the possibility of year training. I hadn’t wanted to come my mum was sick and could I really leave her with my sister and her partner but I had no choice so let’s get this over with. The taxi pulled into the car park the building looked really old and was set back amongst trees, I got out and thanked the driver retrieved my stuff and entered, this nurse called Rita greeted me looks like a proper monster I thought to myself. I saw out the corner of my eye another girl she had a disability like me and was in a wheelchair, I was thinking myself lucky that I hadn’t reached that stage yet. You see Finchale was a college for disabled adults to help them get back into work after doing a year course for a qualification. Rita the nurse introduced us “Helen this is Sam, Sam Helen. I will take you to where you are sleeping let you get settled in then you have a meeting with the principle.” Rita took us to the Bungalow and showed us our room me and Sam where next door to each other and looked like we were the only ones. The bungalow slept 6 “Excuse me Rita are we the only ones stopping here” I said. “No of course not silly girl the others haven’t arrived yet. Now for your rules, you must not let any of the men in your room. You must not be in the men’s residential at anytime, If you leave the college you must sign out and in again. You are on a curfew so must be in your rooms by 10pm girls only” Rita was still spouting out rules as I looked over at Sam and smiled OMG she was making us sound like kids we were adults I was 20 years old I found out Sam was two year older than me. My own mother didn’t even speak to me like this and I had more life with her, so I wasn’t going to let a dragon like Rita do it. After Rita had left I dumped my bags in my room and pulled out my cigarettes I needed one so bad even though I didn’t want to smoke. It felt so good as I inhaled deeply and took my first draw. After I stumped it out I went and knocked on Sam’s door. “Can I come in” “yeah hi “ said Sam. “so how long you here for then Sam” “just six weeks to start with I am doing Business admin” “me too we can hang together if you want” “yeah that will be good I wonder how many more lasses are joining us today” Sam and I spoke awhile then went down to the meeting with the principle while we were there we met Rachel, Paula, Cheryl and Amanda. There were a few guys there to but we weren’t really interested in that. We found out the girls where the others staying with us in the bungalow and that there was only 6 female residential students all the others where male. You ever get that feeling of trying to make it in a male world well we were feeling that now. We decided we would sit together at tea and make plans as to what we were going to do. Tea was straight after the meeting so we went down together. The meals look like school dinners. YUCK. Everyone was staring at us, we noticed a table with a group of guys on they turned out to be Adam, John, spike, Chris and Gary. On another table was Gordon, Andy, Alex and a group of others. It felt like holes where being burnt in our heads. Sam and I looked at each other and shook our heads. After Tea had finished we were greeted by Val one of the other nurses who told us we could walk through the bar and a passage way belonging to the boys dorms to get to the bungalows quicker. Brilliant that would save time especially on a morning. Val filled us in on the other rules. Alcohol wasn’t allowed out of the bar, there were two TV rooms one for smokers one for none smokers. Smoking was only allowed in rooms, the bar smoking room and outside. Curfew had to be stuck to apart from a Tuesday when a gang of residentials went to the happy wanderer pub. If you went with them otherwise it was curfew. Well I wasn’t really planning on doing much anyway on a night just read my book and chill. Sam and I walked down to the bungalow; I wasn’t sure where the other lasses where as we left them after tea, I was planning on an early night as first day of training started tomorrow. I couldn’t wait for the weekend to go home I was missing my family and friends. “Sam I am just going to stand outside get some air and have a tab then make a cuppa you want one.” Yeah please Helen that be good.” “Okie dokie how do you like it” “Milk and two sugars please and coffee.” “No problem” For being February it was quite a mild night so I didn’t need my coat I finished my tab stuck the kettle on and scanned the TV mag to see what was on. Think that would be my night after I had unpacked of course. I took the cuppa down to Sam and told her I was going to finish unpacking. “Want some help” she said. “Yeah if you want then I will help you” “I am done” said Sam. We went into my room and where just about finished when we heard a rush all of a sudden and someone come bustling in very excited. “Come to the bar guys you have to save me” “Rachel calm down and breathe” I said “what has happened” “come please come” “tell us first Rachel then we will” said Sam. Rachel was a tiny girl she was 18 and by the looks of it quite hyper we found out she was doing a learning support course as she wasn’t very good with her reading or writing. “Do you not think they are cute Helen” I heard Rachel say as Sam elbowed me in the ribs to pay attention I had lost of about 10 minutes ago when Rachel was just going on about something over and over. “Eh yeah” not having a clue I looked at Sam sheepishly who shook her head. Rachel grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the door. “Two Secs Rachel let me grab my purse” giving into her “you coming Sam I said looking over my shoulder” she nodded. Two minutes later we were in the bar being pulled over to a corner. This would become our regular table. Sat there was John, Adam, and Alex and Gordon. Rachel went and parked herself inbetween Adam and John I take it these where the cute guys she was talking about. “come on then Rachel introduce us to your friends” said Gordon. He looked like a prisoner from Franklin which was just out the back of the bungalows. Wouldn’t like to be by myself with him. Found out that Gordon was also doing Business Admin and he knew that we were in his group. John and Adam did horticulture, Alex fixing computers. “you girls want a drink” said Gordon “nah you’re alright” I said “I only came to see what all the fuss was that Rachel was making, have seen so now I am going, you coming Sam” “I am going to stay for a while Helen” “Ok will catch you in a bit” I decided to go have a wander then to head back. I heard Sainsbury’s was up the road so decided to take a walk there grab a few things and clear my head. Everyone seemed to be friendly enough but could I forget home and be friendly back. I spent a lot of time with my mates back home had lived with my friend for a while well stopped there on a night, had sort of being going with someone but knew it was wrong as he was in a relationship. And really couldn’t stand my sister’s boyfriend I thought he was a creep and didn’t want to leave my mum and sister with him for too long. But on the plus side it could be just the space I needed. I grabbed some crisps, juice, tea bags, milk, coffee, sugar biscuits and toiletries. Bought a sleeve of cigs as I didn’t fancy walking up here again had a look what cd’s and books they had and headed back. Didn’t need to buy any other food as we received three square school meals a day. Sugar I can’t remember if I signed out I better be quick before I am missed. But it was the first night so hopefully no one would notice. As I walked back into the car park I had a feeling I was being followed had being thinking it for a while but it was getting stronger. I quickened my pace and bumped straight into John who was coming out the double doors to have a tab. “you ok Helen” “eh Yeah, just had a feeling I was being followed more than likely cos I am tired.” “you smoke” “yeah” “want one” “ok but I owe you when I open my box” “nah just buy me a drink instead come have one with us all” “well you weren’t drinking coming out the doors where you” “ I had being to my room to get some cash and thought I would have five mins” “oh ok” I said looking around I couldn’t shake the feeling I was being watched now instead of followed. “I will just go dump these in my room then come join you” “I will walk you down Helen especially with you having the feeling you being followed. “ “ok” I signed back in and John followed me down to the bungalow instead of going through the bar I went the way we had being shown earlier. “give me two secs I will meet you in the bar if you want to get back” “nah it is ok I will wait to make sure you come” I went into my room dropped my stuff picked up a pack of tabs and some more money and went back outside to meet John. The feeling I had, had gone so I was more convince it was because I was tired. When we went back in the bar Rachel and Gordon eyed us suspiciously. I whispered to John, “I think Rachel likes you after all she wanted us to come meet you” “I have a girlfriend and she isn’t my type” I laughed. “one pint coming up, do me a favour see if any of the guys want something then come help me carry” “sure” five minutes later and £12 lighter I was sat at the table nursing an orange in a world of my own. “You ok Helen” Sam said. “She thought someone was following her earlier” John said. “really” piped up Gordon “yeah” “did you see anyone” “no just a feeling” “well it wasn’t any of us” said Gordon “we were all here” “Gordon you left just after Helen” said Alex who must have joined just after I left, I vaguely remember him walking in the bar “so you don’t know we were all here” “well yeah but it deffo wasn’t one of us as we thought she went back to her room” “I was going to but went to Sainsburys for a few bits” “Helen I don’t think you should be by yourself for a while so should go round with someone” Gordon said. “it is ok I have her” said Sam. I finished my orange and was about to head back to the bungalow I wanted to chill but another set of drinks landed on the table. Oh no the round game. I would down my orange and catch up tomorrow. I took a taste and gasp for breath. “yuck what the heck” “vodka and orange” said Gordon. “you could have asked Gordon I didn’t want alcohol” “you not drink like” “yeah I do but didn’t want a drink”. I sighed finished my drink “sam you want to come up the lounge with me watch tv” “yeah” “Rachel you coming” “no I am stopping with the guys.” “ok” Sam and I headed up to the lounge after about half an hour Rachel joined us she looked sad. “you ok” “yeah the guys have gone so I came to find you” she sat and joined us at the table. A few minutes later we heard a wolf whistle looked around and no one was there, again it came and no one. I had enough and decided to call it a night. Sam and Rachel joined me. BEEP BEEP BEEP I knocked the alarm off 7 am I gave Sam a knock “you up hun” “yeah just jumping in the shower” “I will be ready in 15 if you want to go up together” “yeah that be cool” 15 minutes later we were heading for the dining room where the guys from the previous night where already seated, along with a few of the day pupils Deano being one, I noticed him looking at Sam and knew instantly that he liked her I told her and she smiled. “Listen Sam I don’t feel like food just going to Grab a cuppa and sit outside. ““Ok see you soon” A few minutes later Gordon appeared out of nowhere and stood uncomfortably close to me, he kept touching me on my arm. “Gordon can you please step back a bit you are to close” “oh ok” but he didn’t he put his arm on mine. “I am going in will see you in training” I headed to the dining room and took a seat with the gang. “You changed your mind Helen” “yeah” although I hadn’t it was where I felt safe. “You coming up the wanderer tonight Helen” Alex asked. “Nah I am going to have a night in with my book and music” “All the girls are coming” chimed in Adam. “nah you’re ok” “will ask again at tea it is good night you know Karaoke” “if I say I will think about it will you leave me alone” “yeah” “ok I will think about it” Sam and I went down to our Admin class John and Adam walked that way with us as they had to pass it “catch you at break you two” Adam said. Sam and I walked into our class we met Dorothy our tutor she showed us where we were to sit I was happy when she put us at a desk away from Gordon. I don’t know what it was but I had a feeling about him. Suddenly though he was volunteering to help me and Sam out and Dorothy agreed. Oh no I wanted break to hurry up. Gordon asked us if we were going tonight that was it mind made up deffo not. I just wanted to get my first week over then it was done I could say I tried and I could leave. I decided to have break in the bungalow I had everything I needed and could relax without anyone there well anyone in my room. This cuppa was going down a treat wonder if I had time for another cig. I should really give them up they are bad for my health. Break went over without a hitch, unless I starved myself I have to meet them all at dinner but I would. “rabbit food why the hell you want to eat rabbit food for Rachel” said Cheryl “I like salad” “leave her alone Cheryl” said Chris. Again talk got round to the night. “Helen you have to come remember you aren’t meant to be by yourself” “I am ok today though it was just cos I was tired. But seen as Friday will be my last day I will come.” “ why is Friday your last day for” asked Andy “I have too much going on at home to be here and I am missing my family and friends” “we could be your friend” said Chris “I thought we were” said sam. Oh dear not good I had managed to alienate people in five minutes. “Look guys no offence to you and I am your friend Sam but really can’t be here” “why don’t you do your six weeks Helen then you don’t have to come back if you hate us all so much” said Paula. “I Don’t hate you” “Helen please try the six weeks for me” “ok Sam for you partners in crime eh” While all this was going on Gordon was looking at us and listening to the convo. If I was going to do the six weeks I had to do it away from him as much as possible. The rest of the day ran smoothly enough instead of having tea though I just went to my room and showered and got ready for the night. Now do I leave my hair down or put it back up wasn’t sure what to do, I decided on down. Once I was ready I decided to go to the bar I knew Sam had already gone up as she told me I decided to take the long way round as I could do with the air if I was to be in a pub most of the night. I lit up a tab and took a seat on the bench. I closed my eyes to avoid the lowering sun when suddenly I felt myself being poked in the sides “wake up lazy” oh no it was Gordon. “I ain’t asleep sun was in my eyes so I closed them.” “so you have a boyfriend then Helen” “nope” “do you like to do things “ “eh bit personal there like” “all you have to do is answer the question” “I am going to see if I can find the guys excuse me” I stood up and moved and noticed that Gordon stood up to I went through the main doors and so did he. I quickened my pace and walked as fast as I could down to the bar. On the way I bumped into Adam and John who were heading down there “hold up guys wait for me” They stopped and turned to wait for me. I saw Gordon duck into the dining room. “What’s up Helen we were wondering where you were” Said Adam. “I took the long way “ “you were going a bit fast weren’t you” “just excited about tonight” “thought you didn’t want to come Helen you sly thing” said John. “Are the guys already to go” “not sure Helen had to wait for Adam he takes longer then a girl to get ready” Adam punched John light heartily in the side. “pack it in guys” I laughed got into the middle of them and linked my arms with theirs. In the back of my mind I put the Gordon thing in it. I would worry about it another day. The night didn’t turn out so bad Alex was quite a good singer so was this guy called Martin who sang a beautiful south song. No way was I getting up and singing would just have a little drink instead. I had made sure that the entire night I was nowhere near Gordon, If I was spending the six weeks at Finchale on my rehab part of the course I was making sure that it was nowhere near him at all. That night I got to know all the other guys, You know maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I look at Rachel she was making eyes at Adam and John it was definitely these two who she thought was cute and I knew already John had a girlfriend so she would end up with Adam. Chris seemed to be stuck inbetween Sam and Cheryl wasn’t sure how Sam felt so would find out later. Spike who I hadn’t spoken too much was with Amanda and Andy with Paula although there was a bit of an age gap between them. And I seemed to find Gordon hanging around me like a bad smell. Could he just not leave me alone after all I ain’t much, got shoulder length brown hair, well brown at the time. Blue eyes little plump and have a walking disability and certainly wasn’t interested in having a relationship with anyone, and Gordon was a no no anyway. I started to speak to Alex who didn’t seem to be bothered about wanting a girl and just be there friend well that suited me. On the mini bus back I however couldn’t get away from Gordon he ended up sitting next to me and was touchy feely. Please get me back I feel so sick. Looking at the phone box I wondered if I had enough change as I had arranged to ring my sister, I must buy a mobile at the weekend would be far better. The day had gone without a hitch and I had arranged to meet the guys at the bar after I made my call. I was chatting away to my sis asking how mum was when I noticed Gordon was listening to the conversation. “look Sis I am gonna go say hi to mum and I will see you Friday night make sure the taxi is booked in for me” “sure will Helen see you then” “who where you talking to” “my sister” “what about” “family stuff” “and” “look Gordon it has nothing to do with you so please leave me alone.” As I went into the bar I noticed Chris was in there “you alright Chris do you want a drink” Gordon was still on my heels. “No I am ok Helen thanks” “can I come join you” “yeah of course” relief washed over me. During my conversation with Chris I learnt he was an avid F1 fan like me, we chatted for ages and I could see Gordon getting frustrated, what was his deal? “Helen” Rachel screamed “will you talk to them for me please Sam won’t” “talk to who Rachel” “john and Adam” “john has a girlfriend Rachel he told me, and she sent him a letter today covered in perfume.” “Please” “later Rachel ok, they aren’t even here yet” “ok” she slumped onto the seat next to me. “I tell you what Rachel why don’t we go see if we can find them” she nodded we got up and walked towards the TV room, no one there Chris checked the lads toilets no sign of them anywhere. “Rachel there not here and I have to go meet Sam in the bar” I said. “Please wait here and I will go tell her to come here” “ok” I gave in. Five minutes later Rachel was back with Sam, followed by wolf whistles, who the hell was doing it as no one was around and it really was annoying, Then Gordon popped up. “listen Guys I am going to my room I am not feeling well I will see you all in the morning have fun” I started to head back and knew Gordon was following me this was getting beyond a joke “Gordon what you doing” “going to my room” “didn’t think it was this way” “I am taking the long way” I carried on and went outside Gordon right behind me I knew his room wasn’t this way and I was terrified now. “Will you quit following me please” I screamed at the top of my voice tears streaming down my face. I noticed Adam and Gary had witnessed my screaming match and looked at me weird, I didn’t care I slammed the door to the bungalow and went in. I had to go home for the night I needed to get away Gordon was freaking me out; it seemed to be wherever I turned he was there. I grabbed a pack of cigs; some lose change and headed inside the main building to ring a taxi. I would be back the next day but couldn’t handle tonight. I had to sneak in make sure I didn’t run into the guys, I would go the long way that way there was less chance. I could see that no one was in the lounge so if I could make it through there I had a good chance. Once the taxi was booked I had to go, please let me make it. Surely I hadn’t being followed but there was John waiting at the phone box, Damn, I started to turn but John saw me. “Helen what the hell is going on” “nothing I just need to go home I will be back tomorrow” “what Adam and Gary witnessed wasn’t nothing Helen” “CAN’T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I HATE THIS PLACE AND I HATE ALL OF YOU” I shouted just then noticing everyone behind John. “I just want to go home” I burst into tears and ran as fast as a could. I felt someone come up behind me more then heard it then John was sat at my side. I had thought sitting on the bench outside the CSU unit was away from everyone I was very wrong. He didn’t speak a word just put his arm around me and held me. I shivered after about 20 minutes of just sitting in silence. “Helen your freezing lets go back in” “please just stay five minutes longer then walk me to the bungalow” “you still going home” “not tonight it is a bit late now, and nearly curfew and I won’t have anyone get into trouble for talking to me if I am out after it well that’s if anyone is still talking to me after my outburst. I will go tomorrow” “do you have to, we all like having you around” “I feel suffocated” john moved his arm. I knew that was one insult to far, I got up to walk away. “Say bye to guys for me John and tell them I am sorry it was nice meeting you all even though I haven’t made it very easy. I hope the rest of the time here goes well for you all” I had decided in that minute I was packing my stuff and leaving for good going at breakfast tomorrow. I would ring for a local taxi get that to take me home. “hold on Helen, I ain’t got a clue what is going on in that head of yours, but I don’t want you to go and no matter what you have said I am sure the guys don’t want that either” “I can’t stay” “it is Gordon isn’t it” john Said as he took my hand and started walking me towards the bungalow I knew I should move my hand but at that moment in time it felt safe and he was just my friend. “yeah” “we all thought so have since that night you thought you were being followed” “what am I meant to do though I feel suffocated with him and scared” “talk to us all about it at breakfast tomorrow” “after I apologise I will try” we were outside the bungalow “you want to have a tab with me before you go back” “no you need to go in your cold.” “ok but take this and buy the guys a drink on me as an apology” John took it “Helen it will be fine” “you know your girlfriend is one lucky lady having someone like you” “she feels insecure thinks I will go with someone here” “I Gathered by the smell of the envelope today” I said and laughed. “can you do me one last favour though John” “Anything” “tell Rachel she doesn’t have a chance with you with you having a girlfriend already, let her just go after Adam” “I will tell her not that she had a chance anyway, and I very much doubt she does with Adam but wouldn’t want to see her hurt” “thanks John” I said I leant over and kissed him on the cheek, then went inside. That night I slept a little better knowing that other people had noticed Gordon’s strange behaviour around me. Sam knocked on my bedroom door the next morning as I opened it I noticed all the lasses behind her, I bent over and hugged her, “I am so sorry about what I said last night Guys forgive me please” “already forgiven John explained everything” said Amanda “and speaking of John he wants us all to meet him at breakfast so you coming” “ok” We went into the dining room and saw the guys there the only problem was Gordon was sat with them all, whatever John wanted to say surely he couldn’t do it where Gordon was. “Helen come help me get drinks for everyone” said Adam “ok” I walked up to the back table and began to help pouring tea and coffee. “Listen john has had an idea but can’t tell you where Gordon is that is why I asked for your help. All of us know so from now on don’t be by yourself wherever you go someone will be with you” “ok but how you going to manage it” “it will work promise” “ok” I said and smiled at him. We went back to the table I wasn’t that hungry so just drank my cuppa. “I am of outside for a cig do any of you want to join me” “Helen give me two seconds and I will come out with you I would like a word if you don’t mind anyway” said dino. “yeah sure” Once we were outside and had lit our cigs Dino inhaled deeply “you got something on your mind Dino apart from babysitting me” “yep” “well” “I don’t know how to put it” “just try” “I like Sam” “ok and you would like me” “I would like you to speak to her for me and ask her to meet me at morning break” “ok I will but no promises mind” What was it with Helen can you ask, first Rachel now Dino but I didn’t mind. I noticed when I mentioned to Sam about Dino during the morning while we were working she smiled, she liked him to, could this be the first romance in our little group. “What about you Helen, I am meant to be with you” “don’t worry about it I will be fine” “promise” “look I will walk up with you Sam then I will go to my room during break while you talk to Dino” “Deal” “oi Girls what you doing at break come down to the bar play pool with me” “sorry can’t Gordon” “why” “busy” “doing what” “busy” “it is only pool what you doing drinking tea and smoking at break” “nope got to do something” “well I don’t believe you and think you are lying” “believe what you want” I said and ended the conversation, I hope and pray I could get away with it. As we walked up to the main building Dino was stood waiting for Sam they smiled at each other yep there was definitely something there. “Helen you want to stay with us” said dino “no you’re ok I have something to do anyway don’t I Sam” she looked at me to make sure I was sure and nodded. “I will catch you after break have a good one Babe” I said to Sam. “you are not busy and need to come play pool with me” “Gordon I am busy” Someone shouted of him for something and this was my chance I went straight down to my room. I hope when I came back out he was gone. The fifteen minutes seem to fly over I stepped out cautiously not wanting to see outside just incase. I heard a wolf whistle oh god he was here. “Helen over here” it was Adam “you ok” “yeah I am fine wasn’t sure what break you were on and Sam was a little occupied” “we noticed when we were walking up, they were holding hands” I smiled. “did you here that wolf whistle, I think Gordon is around here somewhere” “nope it is me and John doing the whistling, sorry if we scared you, Gordon was busy destroying the pool table when we came down.” “we, John is talking to Rachel telling her he has a girlfriend” I laughed “you know she is going to be devastated for five minutes then want you, she ask me to speak to you tell you she loves you” “not my type don’t want to be with her” “please tell her” “I will but do you think we can have a chat later Helen” “I don’t have time today I am going home my mum is bad and I have asked to leave tonight” “are you coming back” “what and miss Gordon erratic behaviour. “ I said sarcastily “Yeah I will be back on Sunday night” “can we talk then” “yeah ok”. As I was waiting for my taxi to leave that night John was stood with me. “you know Adam Likes you Helen” “does he” “yeah that is what he wants to talk to you about” “really, John I don’t want to be with anyone I just came out of something can’t start something else” “well you know if I wasn’t with anyone I would be fighting Adam for you” “and you know you would get the same answer, the most I can offer anyone is friendship” “you know Adam would look after you” “john enough I have said I will speak to him on Sunday with that I said goodbye to john and got in my taxi