Taking Research For Granted
By WorDazza
@WorDazza (15830)
Manchester, England
February 7, 2019 3:08am CST
I was encouraged to write this discussion by my favourite Australian @JudyEv (don't get excited Judy, your countrymen have set a pretty low bar!). Actually, make that 2nd favourite, I was forgetting Kylie!!
So, anyhoo, we somehow got onto the subject of research topics and how some of them seemed quite ridiculous (oooh!!, Shane Warne! Sorry Judy that's 3rd now). It was at this point I divulged my long-held belief that, rather than being carefully thought out and designed to result in benefits for mankind, these research topics are actually decided by a process resembling the football (soccer!!) FA Cup draw in England.
There's a velvet bag with a set of numbered balls corresponding to some random action or behaviour (oooh! Ned Kelly. I'm afraid that's 4th now Judy!) and another velvet bag where the numbered balls represent a set of random outcomes. One ball is drawn from each bag to determine the topic to be researched.
For example:
Number 23 - Not eating enough sprouts, number 6 - leads to smaller left testicles in males (right in females).
Number 17 - Spending too much time stroking your cat, number 11 - causes hair loss in post-menopausal women.
Number 7 - Excessive consumption of toe-nail clippings, number 15 - leads to premature ejaculation.
Number 12 - Too much hoovering in the nude, number 18 - causes a tendency to break wind in the key of b flat.
Number 3 - Eating tuna on a mackerel day, number 33 - attracts bears (I told you this was ridiculous as we all know this is caused by menstruating women).
Number 29 - smoking more than 40 cigarettes per day, number 14 - leads to excessive nasal hair growth in pre-teen girls.
And finally:
Number 1 - Too much time on myLot, number 42 - leads to talking utter nonsense.
Convince me I'm wrong!
26 people like this
22 responses
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
8 Feb 19
@DianneN Well based on some of the IQ tests I've done your lack of accuracy would be no different to the so called professionals.
Book me in. But you'd better make it quick. I'm due for a lobotomy next Thursday. Anything to make the voices go away.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
8 Feb 19
@WorDazza Most of us are above average and definitely not quite normal. I can give everyone an IQ test, but can't promise the results would be accurate, for a nominal fee, of course. Perhaps I could charge $0.000001 per myLotter. I think that's fair for my time and effort.
2 people like this
? @WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
19 Feb 19
@bluesa Some would say you never wrote online previously 
Why have you taken your ball home so to speak (if I may be so bold as to ask).
I leave it up to the reader to make the link between my description and some individual who may or may not have been THE Shane Warne.
Why have you taken your ball home so to speak (if I may be so bold as to ask).
I leave it up to the reader to make the link between my description and some individual who may or may not have been THE Shane Warne.1 person likes this
@JudyEv (341752)
• Rockingham, Australia
7 Feb 19
Yay - except that I'm not very fussed about being relegated to 4th on your list.
And I suppose you forgot about Olivia and Nicole. 
And how could you possibly not mention Hugh Jackman?? 
And Shane Warne? You'd put him in third place? My opinion of your opinions has slipped big time. 
And I suppose you forgot about Olivia and Nicole. And how could you possibly not mention Hugh Jackman?? And Shane Warne? You'd put him in third place? My opinion of your opinions has slipped big time. 2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8770)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 19
????
That certainly seems like a fun way to make research choices. To be honest, some of those things are less ridiculous than some cause:effect theories espoused by people supposedly being serious!
@pumpkinjam (8770)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 19
@WorDazza yep, I ask the same question when the research is something that I thought was obvious/common sense.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
9 Mar 19
@pumpkinjam It does make you wonder how much time and money is being wasted on pointless research that could be better spent elsewhere.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
15 Feb 19
And I did all those just today, eek
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
15 Feb 19
@WorDazza The toenail clippings seemed more tasty than some brands of Muisli
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
15 Feb 19
@arthurchappell Now that I can believe 
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
25 Feb 19
I have done the last one years ago and am now paying the price with nose hair lol
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
25 Feb 19
@WorDazza No you were not I can vouch for it
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
26 Feb 19
@TiarasOceanView I'll direct people to these comments the next time I'm accused of talking nonsense! Which will probably be very soon!!
1 person likes this
@cmoneyspinner (9219)
• Austin, Texas
9 Feb 19
I never take research for granted. But I do think that there are some people out there who are wasting their time researching the wrong things. Like the viability of life on Mars OR growing veggies on the moon.
1 person likes this
@cmoneyspinner (9219)
• Austin, Texas
11 Feb 19
@WorDazza - Probably not. I doubt I will be alive by the time the planet is destroyed. We've been destroying the planet for quite some time now. I don't think it's going to happen in my lifetime. I also don't think "moving elsewhere" will change mankind from destroying wherever they go.
Says Mankind: "Destroying planet earth? Oh that was just practice. Let's destroy the whole universe! We got the tools and we got the talent and the bad attitude!"
We are not preserving the planet we live on. You want to tell me that we are going to move to another planet and take good care of that one? I don't believe it!
We've done enough research already to KNOW how to maintain this planet. The money we're spending trying to find another planet "home" could and should be spent on maintaining Mother Earth. That's all I'm saying!
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
11 Feb 19
@cmoneyspinner To be fair space exploration has led to a lot of discoveries that have benefitted us here on earth.
1 person likes this
@nonersays (3335)
• United States
28 Feb 19
That sounds like a reasonable explanation to how headlines are written, whether or not research is involved.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
19 Feb 19
"Convince me I'm wrong" I am going to have to do some research on that! (Almost as bad as the Four Tops!)
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
2 Mar 19
Haha you nut. You have brought a smile to my face on this gloomy day!
1 person likes this
@BloggerDi (3113)
• United States
7 Feb 19
This post made me LOL (that is not a scientifically accurate acronym)! I do believe that some government research projects here in the US are determined by the "pulling random balls" method. (Wait, that doesn't sound right.) 
1 person likes this
