Do Women NEED to Have Children?
@nicki123tw (37)
March 11, 2019 1:26am CST
Maybe I'm just one of the more 'modern' or 'millenial-minded' ladies out here, but all I can associate with having a child is stress, financial burden, and less time for myself and my husband!
I have told my mother from when I was a teenager that I will never want a child. Back then, it was because watching a childbirth video made me terrified of the pain that is to come.
Now, it's because I feel like I have nothing to give to my own child even if I do have one. What's good out here for him/her? The economy is not getting better, there's more humans on earth than necessary, the crime rate isn't looking very good either, and societies seem to break down even more than, let's say, a decade ago.
I feel like there isn't much good that I can do by bringing a child into this world other than to make my parents happy, and so I stick by my choice.
People always try to change my mind by saying, "A woman's life will not be complete without having her own child", "It's selfish not to have children", "You will change your mind one day", "Children will bring lots of joy and laughter into your life too! You'll love them!" and many other similar things.
Now, I want to hear from you. Do you think women really NEED to have their own offsprings? Or do you think that women's bodies are up to them in the end and it's their freedom to make this choice - like what I believe in?
17 people like this
21 responses
@weevee18 (2065)
• Philippines
11 Mar 19
It’s your body so it should be your choice. Women will of course have different reasons for wanting to have a child but in the end it is you who will experience everything that comes with pregnancy and raising a child so yeah follow what you truly want. I am one of those who wants a child though I am still not blessed with one.
4 people like this
@weevee18 (2065)
• Philippines
11 Mar 19
@nicki123tw you’re welcome. I really hope too. I’m praying.
2 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
Thank you for the support! At the same time, I really hope that you will be blessed with your own child soon as well :)
4 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
I know people from both scenarios as well :) It's great to hear from others' perspectives! I'm also glad that there are many people who understands!
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (139716)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Mar 19
I have two friends that said in high school that they did not want to have any children. All these years later they are in their 60's and happy with the choice they made to not have children. They will spend time with their siblings children are happy doing that and are happy with their choice of no children.
Do what is best for you always.
3 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
Thank you! It's so heartwarming to hear about other people's stories, especially about couples living happily until they are at a ripe, old age :)
3 people like this
@stine1online (835)
• Germany
11 Mar 19
I don't think that women need to have kids. We can do whatever we want.
3 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
My husband and I are definitely happier without any kids in the picture! We are planning to adopt some furry friends from the shelter though :)
4 people like this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
11 Mar 19
Well if they can take care of their children why not,but if they can't much better not to.
3 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
I couldn't even handle being a kindergarten teacher for long before feeling like I was going to lose my sanity. I suppose it's better that I don't!
4 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8763)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 19
No, women do not need to have children. I have two boys of my own, I have two bonus daughters, one of whom has blessed me with 2 granddaughters (and a 3rd on the way). I love them all with all my heart but I absolutely understand that not everyone wants to have children. Mine were unplanned!
I have never understood how it can be selfish to choose not to have a child. As much as I love my kids, I am also glad to still be (relatively) young enough to enjoy life now that they are mostly grown. So I can absolutely appreciate that people want to keep hold of the freedom afforded by not having children - going on adult only holidays, having money to spend on your own hobbies, etc.
I'm sure some people would change their mind but I wouldn't blame anyone who doesn't.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8763)
• United Kingdom
12 Mar 19
@nicki123tw My parents and in-laws have all said that don't want any more grandchildren! Between them, there is a total of 9. The boys also have 4 other cousins from their fathers' families. So 13 of that generation altogether. Ages from 6 to 26 (which is not that big a gap when you consider there is 33 years between the youngest and oldest of my own cousins - my maternal grandparents had 16 grandchildren, and I've lost count of the great grandchildren, etc.).
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
I can never understand how it's selfish either! Apparently, just because you are not giving your own parents/ in-laws the joy of having grandchildren, it's selfish already. I certainly beg to differ!
And wow, you sure are lucky to have so many little ones to bring you joy! :D I hope the third granddaughter comes along well and healthy too!
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21744)
• Canada
11 Mar 19
It's your choice. Personally I'm so pleased with my children (5) and even though it was difficult on occasion the rewards outweigh the negatives.
I volunteer in a nursing home and see the people who have no living family.....they either had no family or are childless having few visitors.
That doesn't mean that having children increases your odds of being surrounded with love as you age...
Worrying about the pain of childbirth is an excuse. Not wanting the responsibility of another human being is another matter.
If you don't want children, please don't have them just to make someone else happy.
2 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
Yeah, my old folks always tell me that I will want to have kids, because 'who's going to take care of you when you're old?'
I'm definitely not having kids just to appease someone else, no way!
1 person likes this
@norcal (4889)
• Franklinton, North Carolina
12 Mar 19
I don't think so. However, if you are young, there's no telling what you will want later. I know people who never wanted kids and never had them, and people who said they never wanted them and ended up having them. Both worked out well. If you have a kid, you will love it, and never regret it.
On the other hand, one of my daughters, who always thought she would have kids, is almost too old to have them. She's not married, or even in a relationship, so odds are good that she won't have any kids. She's perfectly happy with her life as it is now.
1 person likes this
@norcal (4889)
• Franklinton, North Carolina
12 Mar 19
@nicki123tw She is definitely appreciating her freedom. Her sister has two kids, who she loves very much, but it is obviously a huge commitment.
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
I suppose motherly instincts would still kick in when there is a kid involved! I heard so many stories about that. But yes, I'm glad that your daughter is happy with her life as it is :) Happiness is important!
1 person likes this
@BloggerDi (3113)
• United States
11 Mar 19
It is absolutely a personal decision between you and your husband. I don't understand why some people insist on pushing their opinions on others, especially about something that is none of their business!
I agree that it is much better to stay childless than to have one for the wrong reasons- (under pressure to please someone else). That's not fair to the child or to you.
1 person likes this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
Yaassss lady, exactly! If I have a child as part of my own wishes, I would be very happy - no issues there. But just the thought of having a child because I was under pressure to have one... I can't imagine being able to give the love and resources that the baby deserves. Better not!
1 person likes this
@AAichka (434)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 19
It is your choice of course, but when you grow older you might think differently. You and your husband are OK now without kids,but one day when of you is gone the other will feel very lonely,because she/he won't have the comfort children and grandchildren can bring.
2 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
I can agree that I might change my mind one day :) There's no telling! I mean, I was once one of those girls who said "I will never want to get married! Boys are gross!!!" and well, look where I am now? xD
Till then, I guess XD
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
It's reassuring to receive such feedbacks instead of feeling pressured to have kids as it has always been these days. Thank you!
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
11 Mar 19
I heard Sadhguru said in one of his interviews that not having a child these days is a service to humanity because you are helping avoid overpopulation in the coming years
2 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
Yes, yes. We are overpopulated as it is :( Humans are doing so much harm to Mother Nature, and I'm doing every part that I can. Thank you for your comment!
2 people like this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
11 Mar 19
@nicki123tw Do you have niece or nephews? They are fun to play with and you don't have to worry about changing nappies 
. You can buy them gifts and make them happy. They will love you back.
. You can buy them gifts and make them happy. They will love you back.4 people like this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
11 Mar 19
@yoalldudes I do! I have actually babysat them a few times. Helping my cousins or siblings with their kids is fine - I can return the kids to their respective parents! Thankfully, they are growing up okay :)
4 people like this
@debjani1 (7202)
•
11 Mar 19
Its only upto you whether you want a baby or not. But yes its a great experience. But nobody have any right to force you. But the mind of our society is that if you have no child or even don't want it that means you are selfish by nature. So the choice is yours.
1 person likes this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
I understand how it can be a great experience to some others; Some of my friends gush over babies and can't wait to have a few with their partners and I'm absolutely thrilled for them as well when they have their kids! :D
I'll stick by my choice until it changes one day for one reason or another :)
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
12 Mar 19
nope.never could have them..didn't want them anyway.
i have no patience for tantrums.
@nela13 (58669)
• Portugal
13 Mar 19
You are the only one to decide. I have children and I am happier since they born.
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
11 Mar 19
@nicki123tw , firstly I would say I think the same way as you but the society demands are different. Though I still believe it's totally our choice to make decision on this, because it's a women's body that undergoes changes, it should be our choice entirely.
1 person likes this
@nicki123tw (37)
•
12 Mar 19
It's so heartwarming to see so many other women supporting each others' choices! Thank you very much for your input @aanshi :)
1 person likes this
@Michellekidwell (29416)
• Sonora, California
15 Mar 19
I don’t have children but I do enjoy spoiling my nieces and nephews! I always wanted children but sometimes life just doesn’t happen that way!
@Lunali (143)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
12 Mar 19
Honestly ...times have changed ... when i see what kind of ppl have children ..talking about the ones that.neglect their kids,or are too stressed with this modern living and their jobs ...having kids these days really should be 100 % feeling you want it. Not just because society and ppl around you say you have to.
It is your choice and only your choice.
