Wonderful Family Visits
@DeborahDiane (40294)
Laguna Woods, California
March 18, 2019 9:57pm CST
Our daughters and their families have come and gone, and my husband and I enjoyed our time with them very much. My husband has continued to get weaker, and has given up playing even nine holes of golf once a week, because he now gets dizzy, but we still loved seeing our four daughters, their husbands, and our eight grandchildren over the past two months.
I have attached a photo we took with three of our daughters, one of our son-in-laws, and six of our grandchildren. Just taking that photo exhausted my husband. He had to sit down as soon as it was over.
He is hanging in there, though. We both went and got massages today, which was wonderful and a terrific stress reliever after having all of our family visit us.
Sometimes, when we are just sitting and enjoying our evenings together, everything seems normal and I do not feel as if he is that sick. However, I know I am just deceiving myself.
Our Medicare provider called last week to give us the contact information for hospice and palliative care, so we know who to call when my husband feels as if he needs those services. Fortunately, he is not in pain, has kept his sense of humor (most of the time), and does not feel as if he needs those services at this time. I hope that remains true. He sees one of his doctors and gets blood work done at least once a week. They are watching him very carefully.
Meanwhile, we are still hoping he hangs around another couple of years. 
I'll try to write about other subjects and stay in touch with the MyLot community when I can. Summer is coming to Southern California, and the beach is always a good topic. I still get out and take daily walks with a friend who also has a very ill husband. It's so peaceful and it is nice to have someone in the same situation who is so supportive. 
I'll try to write about other subjects and stay in touch with the MyLot community when I can. Summer is coming to Southern California, and the beach is always a good topic. I still get out and take daily walks with a friend who also has a very ill husband. It's so peaceful and it is nice to have someone in the same situation who is so supportive. 56 people like this
52 responses
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
19 Mar 19
Your photo is fabulous and I’m so glad I saw it before going to sleep. Everyone, including your husband, looks wonderful. I’m so glad you have all bases covered, and thrilled to hear your positive outlook. Your husband seems to be in the best hands, mostly yours and your wonderful family’s. We are here for you! Thanks so much for keeping us updated. I’m sending more prayers and some good California vibes to you all! 
11 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@DianneN - Thank you so much! You, and many of the other people on MyLot, have been so supportive, and I really appreciate it.
6 people like this
@LadyDuck (471421)
• Switzerland
19 Mar 19
This is a wonderful photo, but I understand that you husband felt exhausted just for posing to have this done. He needs to slow down and do things at his pace. Your husband looks great, I can understand you feel like there are no problems.
7 people like this
@LadyDuck (471421)
• Switzerland
20 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane It is sad to notice that, despite the look, they are not well. I can imagine your pain.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@LadyDuck - Yes, my husband looks healthy, but he really is slowly dying. Looks can be deceiving.
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@LadyDuck - Yes, I have learned that looks can be deceiving. Even though he looks OK, he walks very slowly now and gets dizzy when he stands up. People can have serious health problems, even when it is not apparent.
6 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
19 Mar 19
He looks in top shape in the photo. It must have been the joy of being with his family. I hope his health holds on!
7 people like this
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
20 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane Yes, photos remind us of happier days and times! 
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@1hopefulman - We are so fortunate to live in a time of history when everyone can have these treasured family photos!
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@1hopefulman - Thank you! My husband didn't feel very well when that photo was taken, but I'm glad he was able to stand and smile for the photo. I think this group photo will be very precious to us in the future.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
19 Mar 19
That's a lovely photo and your husband doesn't look ill at all. I feel for you in your situation - do you have anyone to help with everyday things? I had carers coming in every morning towards the end, not because I couldn't do the necessary, but just to give me a bit of a break. I needed it, especially if he'd had me up a lot in the night.
I also had Marie Curie nurses stay the night three times. Do you have them there? They specialise in 'end of life care' and are a charity who offer their services for free.
All the best to you both, thinking of you.
7 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
20 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane That is one thing we all don't want to see but have no control over it. I found out after taking care of my mom for 3 years and then dad for the same. It was very hard and especially working everyday and 2 hours away from them. I don't know how I survived but I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had the chance. Praying helped my a lot and gave me the strength to go on. God be with you all.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@ramapo17 - Yes, we have to put our faith and trust in God. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that while you were working. At least I am retired and we live very near the medical center where I often take my husband. I know that I have many reasons to be grateful, despite the situation.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@jaboUK - Thank you so much, Janet. We have purchased special long-term care insurance which will allow me to bring in nurses when we start to need them. We also have free hospice care in the US, which sounds a lot like the Marie Curie nurses you mentioned. They provide extra end-of-life care for the terminally ill.
My husband moves very slowly now and gets dizzy when he stands up, but he can still take care of most of his basic needs. I do all the driving, which means I have to structure my weeks around his doctor appointments. Eventually, however, if he starts to need help getting around, I will need the extra help. I'm so glad we took this photo while he still feels well enough to stand for a few minutes and looks OK. I know he may not look so well in a few more months as he declines. I just hope he doesn't develop a lot of pain. I would hate to see him in pain.
5 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106362)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Mar 19
Lovely family. Very glad to hear you have someone near to talk to. It can help a lot. The hospice people here were extremely nice.
6 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (106362)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane I hope so too. But keep in mind that if he starts needing bigger items like a hospital bed or oxygen. They can provide free of charge. Even while he is still feeling fairly good.
4 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane They are remarkable people. I had them for my dad and my mother-in-law.
3 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
19 Mar 19
@wolfgirl569 You are right. We had a hospital bed and a lounge type chair as well as a wheel chair and a few other things. It is a great organization when needed.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
19 Mar 19
I do understand every word. I am taking care of Tony and he has terminal lung cancer.
7 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@andriaperry - God Bless you. I know how hard it is to take care of someone who is terminal. Some days are better than others. I will be thinking of you and praying that you get help with your caregiver duties.
3 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
21 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane I will do the same for you.
3 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
23 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane Definitely, after some years, those photos will be valuable one for sure.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
24 Mar 19
@Sreekala - Yes, these photos will be precious to be!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@Sreekala - Thank you. I love it that our youngest grandchildren were also in this photo. I think it will mean a lot in coming years.
3 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
19 Mar 19
i love those curls!
maybe he can play golf online?
i'm glad he's not in pain and his personality hasn't changed.
it's good you still take time to walk with your friend.
we appreciate your updates.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@hereandthere - Thanks! Yes, curly hair seems to run in our family! LOL He does play golf online once in a while, but it is not the same and getting outdoors. He sometimes goes several days in a row without leaving our house.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@jstory07 - Thank you so much, Judy. I haven't been very active on MyLot the past few months, but I do appreciate how supportive everyone has been here.
4 people like this
@RasmaSandra (79892)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 Mar 19
What a large and wonderful family. Many blessings to you and your husband and I wish the best for him. I will keep him in my prayers. Hope you both have more years ahead together.
6 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@RasmaSandra - Thank you so much for your prayers. We hope to have a few more years together, too, but it will be hard for him
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@ramapo17 - That must have been a very difficult time for you. I have already planned to move into a senior living community after my husband passes away, because I do not want my daughters to have to go through that. I want them to visit in my final years, but not be totally responsible for my care.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@RasmaSandra - That must have been very difficult at times for both of them. My husband and I have been married nearly 48 years.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@sallypup - Thanks so much, Lenore. I really appreciate all the support I have received from my friends and family. This would be much harder without them.
4 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane At least you are aware of the future which gives you time to put everything on the back burner and enjoy every moment you all have together. My prayers are with you.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@ramapo17 - Thank you. Yes, time goes fast. I know things are going to change in the next few months.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
21 Mar 19
@ramapo17 - Yes, we are trying to plan ahead, because we can both see that he is gradually getting weaker and weaker. Thank you so much for your prayers.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
19 Mar 19
Wonderful family photo..
You have a great, big, family.. thats always nice.
So sorry to hear he's weaker..
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@Courtlynn - Thank you. Yes, my husband is slowly declining and gets weaker every week. I'm glad we got this photo while he could still stand up for a short time.
3 people like this
@Courtlynn (67085)
• United States
21 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane im so glad you got it too!
2 people like this
@arunima25 (87806)
• Bangalore, India
19 Mar 19
That is a wonderful family picture.
I found the positive spirit getting transferred to me reading your post and I am glad that I was suggested this beautiful post by someone. And the best part is that your husband's sense of humor is intact. That is a gift of Almighty. I would join you in your prayers that he hangs around for few more years and you make more memorable moments.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@arunima25 - Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers. Everyone has been so supportive and I really appreciate it.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (41444)
• United States
19 Mar 19
My heart is just breaking for you. What a lovely family you have and I know all of you will treasure the wonderful memories you're making. I'll continue to pray for you, your husband, and all your kids that God will comfort, heal, and strengthen you.
4 people like this
@1creekgirl (41444)
• United States
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane That's when families love and care for each other when there is sickness or problems. Not every family does, but you and your husband are very blessed to have such a wonderful family.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@1creekgirl - Thank you. Yes, we have truly been blessed with wonderful, loving daughters. It is a true gift.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@1creekgirl - Thank you so much. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. I really appreciate our family for trying so hard to be here for my husband. It means a lot.
3 people like this
@akalinus (43209)
• United States
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane It is good to have a support system. Not all of us do.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@akalinius - Thank you so much. My friend has been a huge support, although I am sorry she is also going through the same thing with her husband. The support of my family and friends has meant a lot to me, though.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@akalinus - You are so right. I realize how lucky I am. There are millions of Americans who no longer have family members who can help them as they age. It is a sad situation.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@nela13 - Thank you. I am so glad we were able to take this photo while my husband is still well enough to stand. I appreciate all the support of my family and friends.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
21 Mar 19
@nela13 - Thank you. I hope he stays stable for a while, too. Prayers!
3 people like this
@nela13 (58669)
• Portugal
19 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane I wish his disease don't progride and he still have some years to live with all of you.
4 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
19 Mar 19
Whatsoever detail photo...You are blessed.
My prayers will be with you all so that your hubby remains in the best possible physical health and spirits.
A loving family is a huge asset
4 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@responsiveme - Thank you so much. We are blessed by our family. I think they help keep up his spirits. I hope my husband continues to be able to enjoy them for a while longer.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Mar 19
@responsiveme - Auto-correct drives me crazy sometimes! We all benefit from our own prayers and the prayers of others. Thank you so much!
2 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
20 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane there seems to be a mistake in my opening lines , it should have been delightful..The auto correct is at fault.
I do believe in the power of prayers and feel glad to know that mylotters send out prayers for each other.
Take care .
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@YrNemo - Thank you so much! One of our daughters, the one wearing the pink shirt, actually was a fashion model when she was younger. She is almost 50 years old, now! I'm so glad our daughters and grandchildren have made such an effort to come visit. Several of them had to take off work and drive long distances to be here for that get-together. I really appreciate their support, and we all really do trust in God.
3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
21 Mar 19
@YrNemo - Awww! Thank you. You are very kind.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20255)
•
21 Mar 19
@DeborahDiane No wonder! That daughter of yours, the former fashion model, has a certain look. (You are beautiful yourself, hence the genes 
.)
.)2 people like this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
19 Mar 19
It is good to have a gathering and reunion like this.You have a beautiful family.
5 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40294)
• Laguna Woods, California
19 Mar 19
@janethwayne - Thank you, Janeth. It has been wonderful to have our family around us. They are very supportive.
2 people like this
