When do you stop being a child?

@sol_cee (38219)
Philippines
March 19, 2019 10:21pm CST
Warning: This discussion might gross you out. I don’t know if it’s just me and my family but for a girl to have her first day of menstruation, it’s quite full of drama and hush hush fanfare. It’s like a secret that everyone knows. Aunts whispering, older sisters and female cousins giving you a knowing look, male members of the family staring at you like you did something wrong, and most importantly, mother is on edge and about to burst any minute. I remember when my oldest sister had hers, my mother was like a ticking time bomb. One moment she was smiling, then she was frowning and seemed to be upset about something. Before I knew it, she was crying and my aunts were comforting her. I saw the reddish stain on my sister’s pants on the hamper and I thought maybe she was dying? Maybe that’s why mom was crying? Then my older sister was jumping off three steps on the stairs and I was like, what on earth was going on?! Why was she hopping like a rabbit? Later on (when it was my turn to have the rite of passage) I found out that it was for her period to last only for three days. Crazy, right? Actually they did more ‘crazy stuff’ I don’t want to write, mostly superstitious beliefs handed from generation to generation. They may sound funny but that’s just how it works for my family. Why did I suddenly decide to write this discussion? My niece, 11, has just had her first menarche, and she was told not to play with kids anymore. Poor baby. I hope she isn’t scarred for life. PS. Can you find the rabbit in the photo?
33 people like this
35 responses
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
20 Mar 19
Course I see the rabbit. He he , here in some communities this is a big occasion and the girl is kept away by herself ..Then after sometime lots of rituals and ending with a grand party, where she is dressed like a bride.
6 people like this
@vandana7 (100255)
• India
1 Apr 19
My former house help cut a lamb. It is so anti woman. I mean women have to prove that their uterus is functional by informing everybody hey...now the hormones are functioning so proof that she can bear a child. I hate such customs.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
That sounds like a real feast! Do they still do that now?
4 people like this
• India
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee yes, in small towns.and villages
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
20 Mar 19
That is a cute picture. LOL I have no sisters , only older brothers. and it was hush, hush. No superstitions of any sort too. I was allowed to be normal or the boys would get wind of what was happening. LOL
5 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Was your mom there with you at that time?
5 people like this
@vandana7 (100255)
• India
1 Apr 19
I think hush hush gives it undue importance. Don't you think?
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee Nope she couldn't be, she was working and had to feed so many boys. LOL
4 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
When you asked if I saw the rabbit in the picture, I went back to the picture and it's the first thing I saw. It proved that my eyesight is still clear. Indeed, I wonder why they have so many superstitious beliefs about menarche. Good thing, my parents don't believe on superstitious beliefs.
5 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
29 Mar 19
@sol_cee I do use one - the reading glasses. I can read from afar but not near like a book. I am far sighted.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
29 Mar 19
@kepweng Me, no more. Though I want to be in my 20's again dancing the disco with my group of friends again.
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Speaking of eyesight, do you wear eyeglasses, Dina-san?
3 people like this
@moffittjc (121548)
• Gainesville, Florida
26 Mar 19
The rabbit was the first thing I saw when I opened up your post to read, so I thought the discussion was going to somehow be related to that! haha I remember when my own daughter went through the rite of passage. She was 12. There wasn't a lot of fanfare, and thankfully it happened when she was visiting my ex-wife's house, instead of when she was at my house. I do remember taking her out for ice cream
3 people like this
@moffittjc (121548)
• Gainesville, Florida
30 Mar 19
@sol_cee Hey, I'm not going to lie, I enjoy getting ice cream as much as the kids do! That's why I always look for an excuse to take them to get ice cream!
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Nothing beats an ice cream treat from dad. Such a sweet gesture Jeff-san.
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
20 Mar 19
Oh, I remember those days, traumatizing for some. Why can't your niece play with the other children anymore, she is only 11. Thats scary because my grand daughters will be 11 and 12 this year, I hope it doesn't come so soon for them. Yes, I see the rabbit, hes quite large.
4 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Maybe they meant to say she has to act mature. Still sad.
4 people like this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee Yes very sad, kids should be kids as long as they can and that shouldn't mean she has to grow up right away.
2 people like this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
The rabbit is cute.When I first have my period I was in school and my uniform is red too so I don't really have any idea what happened until I realize that I am already a lady.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Oh, did your classmates see your uniform?
3 people like this
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee Yes and that time when we noticed that is already night.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
@janethwayne glad that it was night time already. Maybe it wasn’t so visible.
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (37350)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Mar 19
I was 12 when I first started mine. It was a scary feeling.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
It was the same exact thing my niece said. She was scared. :(
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471356)
• Switzerland
20 Mar 19
Impossible not to see the rabbit in the photo. It was not such a big drama when this happened to me. My mother did not show emotion at all. It was just a normal thing, I was no more a "baby", I was a woman, but I was still allowed to play with boys.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (471356)
• Switzerland
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee I am sure that my mom was not at all shaking inside. She was a very strong woman.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
I wouldn't know how to react. I'd probably act like your mom, cool and collected, but I'll probably be shaking inside. hehe
2 people like this
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
I knew some girls who had it at so young age of 9! Maybe it's because of the food they eat? Yes, there are some rituals attached to it.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
My friend said she had hers when she was 11 but it stopped and came back when she was 15. Weird!~
1 person likes this
@nela13 (58665)
• Portugal
20 Mar 19
When I had mine I was with two old cousins and they explained me everything, I think I was 12. The rabbit was easy to find
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Good to know you had your cousins with you. No awkward moment when you are in the right company.
2 people like this
@nela13 (58665)
• Portugal
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee yes, they were great.
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
20 Mar 19
I see the bunny! Interesting post. I think some of the customs like the hopping for it to only last 3 days are charming. But overall it sounds really stressful, pity that, just a natural thing that means you're functioning. I was 14 for mine. My parents assured me that it's alright - a natural part of growing up, but I freaked out
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
"Functioning"- that's a good way to look at things. Thanks Faye-san!~
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40243)
• United States
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee So happy I could help. :-)
• Northampton, England
20 Mar 19
think one thing men will never understand is this stuff
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Agreed. In fact you’re the second male myLotter to comment here. Thank you for dropping by.
1 person likes this
• Sonora, California
20 Mar 19
My niece recently got hers and she’s only ten! Thankfully she knew what it was!
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Do they have lessons like this in school?
2 people like this
• Sonora, California
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee Sometimes but we talked to her about it too!
1 person likes this
• Cleveland, Ohio
20 Mar 19
Nothing gross about your post! It's a normal thing us women go through :) but I know you see it as such since you shared your story! I'll tell one, it's mainly funny and hugely embarrassing. I was spending the night at my cousin's house over the weekend and I woke up the next day and went to use the bathroom and... Yeah. I had got it for the first time and the only one that was up was my UNCLE Jimmy. Hahaha. I didn't tell him either I just said I was going to call my mom to come and pick me up. I felt SOOO uncomfortable and just needed my mom! So later that day after you know, we bought the accessories (I'll just call them that xD) and whatnot.. my mom had her friend Pam over and my dad was sitting there... They were all sitting at the kitchen table and all of a sudden my mom just blurts out "MELISSA BECAME A WOMAN TODAY!!" And then Pam was like "OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!'" (Just so you know they were drunk so it made it that much more cringy xD) UGHH I was so embarrassed and mad at my mom and ran up to my room crying. I was 12. Looking back it's funny and I'm glad you posted this because it reminded me of a memory haha :) And yes I see Mr. Bunny.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
That was funny. I could imagine Uncle Jimmy's horror if you told him you need 'the accessories'. lol
4 people like this
• Cleveland, Ohio
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee oh i know !! XD so glad I didnt say a word to him about it, and he still doesn't know to this day hahaha
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38148)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Although never experienced that moment since I am a male and we do not go through it like you all women do. I think parents are just concerned since when they are on that period many things are happening in their body. I think the child has to be educated what to expect from having those thing every month for the rest of her productive years.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38148)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee I have a son only no daughter so I guess I would not have to worry about that as well.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
@rsa101 Lucky you. haha
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Of course. Men are lucky. But do you have a daughter?
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
22 Mar 19
I got mine at 9 and yes I still played with all my friends but I didn't announce the fact that I was a little more grown up.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Oh, unfortunately, in my niece's case, probably most neighbors must have heard of it already. Secret, no secret.
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
22 Mar 19
I remember I asked my mother not to tell my father, because I was embarrassed. And the second he walked in the door, he came to give me a hug and asked how I was feeling. Yes, I spotted the rabbit immediately before I even read your discussion. I don't understand why your 11 year old niece can't play with kids anymore.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
26 Mar 19
Your father sounds sooo adorable. He mustn't have seen the awkwardness of it all. lol
2 people like this
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
26 Mar 19
@sol_cee Lol! No, he was just being a man!
1 person likes this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Mar 19
My rite of passage was totally embarrassing. My mother blabbed it to my father, and then she blabbed it to the lab technician at the hospital when I needed to have blood drawn for some reason. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me whole. It's a subject I don't talk about.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
30 Mar 19
Oh geez.. Lots of blabbing..
1 person likes this
@just4him (317040)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
31 Mar 19
@sol_cee Yes, there was.
@JESSY3236 (19912)
• United States
26 Mar 19
cute photo of the bunny. I had mine at a really early age, 9 years old. There wasn't fanfare.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
30 Mar 19
Were you tall for your age?
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (19912)
• United States
2 Apr 19
@sol_cee no. I have always been short.
@Sheali (7461)
• India
20 Mar 19
I had my first when I was just 10 years.. Yaa we don't discuss about these in public but no one asked me to stop playing or that something had changed.. We all played just like before.. not just me.. I am still a child at heart
2 people like this
@sol_cee (38219)
• Philippines
20 Mar 19
Ten! You were so young. Were you tall for your age?
2 people like this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
20 Mar 19
@sol_cee Yes and very strong also actually.. I could compete with boys elder to me.. They used to get mad when I used to win
1 person likes this