Why

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I don't want your condescension. I don't want to be looked at as a member of the older generation and tolerated for my outmoded ideas and ideals. I don't want 'pat on the back' comments disguised as compliments. Why do you look at me and think I need to be tolerated for who I am? Why does a peek at my life give you a holier than thou attitude toward me? Have I ever given you those kinds of comments? If I have, I'm truly sorry. There are times when I don't know how to respond to your situation, and can only wish you the best, and hope you come through it to the other side in better shape than you began. I know it doesn't always happen. In those times I cry with you and hope for things to right themselves. Yet, here I am, a member of the older generation, a person pitied by younger people who have already cast me aside as unfruitful without a purpose because I don't work. I work. I might not draw a weekly paycheck, or spend hours a week commuting to a job, but I work, and I work hard. My life isn't the greatest. I live off the government because I'm too old to make a meaningful contribution to the work world. So, they think. They, being the ones who threw me under the bus at the age of 59. It wasn't a good job and I wonder if it was a meaningful job. However, it was a job. I spent the better part of my life working in various jobs, making a living. That's what they called it. Yet, it wasn't living. It was surviving. I didn't earn enough to put anything away for retirement. I lived hand to mouth. My paychecks barely met in the middle. My cupboards were often bare long before payday. There wasn't enough pay for the month. What did all my working gain me? Nothing. When all was said and done, I found myself, not as a meaningful member of society with enough to live on in my retirement years, but living on the government, surviving still, this time with Social Security, a check I earned because I worked the majority of my life. A note to the younger generation - you are not paying my Social Security. I earned the check I receive every month through wages taken out for that purpose while I worked. You're not paying my Medicare. That too is paid through wages earned. However, I am forced to live off the government, something I told myself I would never do again. I was on it once before and got off when I found a job good enough to get off it and hoped to stay off it for the rest of my life. It hurts me that I'm in the golden years of my life and don't have anything to show for it. I can't leave a legacy to my children, something I really wish I could do, and still hope I can one day, but not as long as I live as an outcast of society. I told you I work and work hard. I do. I'm an author. I haven't made it yet as an author. I sell a book now and then and get a royalty check on occasion. I'm getting one this month. Someone bought a book, and I'm grateful. My royalty checks aren't a lot, certainly not in the double digits yet, but it's a beginning for all the hard work I put out every day. I might not be doing manual labor, but I'm working with my hands - typing, and my brain - coming up with stories I hope people will enjoy. I spend hours on each book in research, revision, and editing. Making each the best I can. I pour my life into each book and hope for the best. I don't get a paycheck at the end of the week for the amount of time I put into my work, but one day my hard work will pay off and I will no longer be looked at as a meaningless member of society. I don't want your pity. I don't want condescending comments disguised as compliments. I want to be treated the way you want to be treated - with respect. After all, I am still a hardworking member of society. Thanks for reading.