My Fake Penis.
By The Horse
@TheHorse (218841)
Walnut Creek, California
April 12, 2019 8:09pm CST
After work today, I was cruising through my SPAM folder, doing the delete thing (there were only five, happily), but when I read the headline "My Fake Penis," I had to stop and click on the email.
Apparently, the author of the email had discovered a fake penis that had resurrected his sex life. The photo showed something that looked like a large syringe covered with a condom. It was recommended by a Thai Doctor, or something like that.
I forget the name of the author, but it was something like Michael Franks. I am sure I had seen the name before. Who the heck is Michael Franks? Was he in some '80s band?
Anyway, it occurred to me that fooling Ms Horse with a condom-coated syringe was out of the question, and so I didn't bite.
Have you received any absurd offers recently?
19 people like this
16 responses
@xander6464 (44245)
• Wapello, Iowa
13 Apr 19
I wonder if I got this...My email automatically filters out most of the Spam so I might be missing out on a lot of great stuff.
2 people like this
@xander6464 (44245)
• Wapello, Iowa
13 Apr 19
@TheHorse I should check my Spam before deleting it because sometimes good mail gets thrown in but that's a lot of work.
I'm not worried about Iowa. I'm a Greeting Cards Salesman so I use a triple scrambled, completely undetectable and tamper-proof IP address. So the censors and the morality police don't even know I exist. I'm worried about MyLot---You wouldn't believe some of the things they won't let me say. But so far, so good.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218841)
• Walnut Creek, California
13 Apr 19
@xander6464 Oh, do tell.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3340)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Apr 19
At least you avoided the temptation to.add.strategically-placed mushrooms.
2 people like this
@asfarasiknow (3340)
• Bournemouth, England
13 Apr 19
@TheHorse Going with what we have is.all that us guys can do - despite the promises of the spammers.
1 person likes this
. What, so they were trying to sell this to you 
?
. Maybe it's an over glorified turkey baster 
.
@wolfgirl569 (106271)
• Marion, Ohio
13 Apr 19
I never get any good stuff like that. Of course I almost never look at my spam folder.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (106271)
• Marion, Ohio
13 Apr 19
@TheHorse I only check when I am expecting something and not seeing it. But I dont get a lot of e-mails anyways.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218841)
• Walnut Creek, California
13 Apr 19
@wolfgirl569 I'm getting less SPAM these days, which is good. For awhile, I was getting 30 a day. Maybei t was that bomb-building site I visited.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (218841)
• Walnut Creek, California
13 Apr 19
@xFiacre Um, I don't know why, but I just read that they have hemipenes, left and right, because they're battling it out with dozens of other snakes to mate with one female. I took a look at my bed and thought about Ms Horse with, say, 48 males, including me, trying to penetrate her. It did NOT make my single peni stand up in any way. I think I'll stick with being human.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
14 Apr 19
You probably need to be more selective about your reading material.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79858)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Apr 19
Nope, nothing like that lately but I have gotten some really weird stuff which luckily goes into my spam folder and I just quickly glance at the headlines and delete and move on. I did get one recently that was titled Toad in the Hole. It turned out to be a recipe and you know what it is not bad at all. I made mine with pancake batter in a baking dish.
The English classic Toad-in-the-Hole—sausage links baked in a Yorkshire pudding like flour egg batter.
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (14761)
• San Jose, California
17 Jun 19
I see what you did there with your photo. 
1 person likes this
@SophiaMorros (5044)
• Belews Creek, North Carolina
13 Apr 19
I've giggled over a few spam emails over the years.
1 person likes this
