You Cannot Choose to Be Happy
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
Banks, Oregon
July 21, 2019 10:27pm CST
This is of course a opinion piece and is sparked by reading @andriaperry discussion where she believe Happiness is a Choice.
In my opinion Happiness is a feeling we feel based on experienced around us, death, heartbreak, pain, etc. We can't choose to happy if we could there would not be anyone in this world with depression, and there would not be countless people committing suicide every hour of everyday.
Of course there are ways to help our sadness, and to nump the pain and we can try to feel happy by doing things that will alter our feeling of sadness, but choosing to be happy is just not something that is as easy as that.
The only way to truly help our sadness and to feel happy is to first experience that sadness, it is so important to not bottle up our emotions or else that sadness can be so much worse.
Here is a great article that truly says everything i am meaning to say
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/contrary-to-popular-belief-you-cant-choose-to-be-happy-crwk/
What say you can you choose to be happy???
18 people like this
16 responses
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Happy moments i will never forget
2 people like this
@jstory07 (139397)
• Roseburg, Oregon
22 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom Me either and I was very happy growing up. As an adult lots of sad moments.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
@jstory07 Yes i had such a happy childhood very rarely was i sad for long
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (10061)
• United States
22 Jul 19
You can't choose happiness if you have depression, heartbreak and more. There are situations you can be happy in but as a whole, you can't always be. If you have to fake being happy, then that deepens anxiety, depression and other conditions going on. Sadly, many do this because of those that claim you can choose to be happy.
3 people like this
@noni1959 (10061)
• United States
27 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom Robin Williams said the worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. He fought long and hard and people always expected him to be "on".
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Yes i have seen so many friends force themselves to be happy for the sake of family, or for there image or there job, and every night alone in there bed they cry themselves to sleep, they hide it so well there unhappiness that people truly believe they are happy people... i mean look at Robin Williams he appeared to be the happiest man in the world and it just was not so.....
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160594)
• United States
22 Jul 19
Chris, I will not say you are wrong, because there are all kinds of things around that cause sadness, anxiety, and depression. Those are really big things. I have lived with some of them and still have some of them going on. Maybe contentment is the kind of happiness that is a choice, does that make sense? I spent several months unhappy and disturbed to the point of nightmares about something that was wrong. In the end I had to determine not to let those circumstances rob me of my joy.
3 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Yes and i understand that we must do things to help our feelings of unhappiness but to say it is a choice is not fair as no one chooses to be happy or unhappy.... we must find things that make us happy even when we are sad, and in time that unhappiness dwindles and we may be happy more then we are unhappy.
2 people like this
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
22 Jul 19
Try to be grateful for what ever you have -- happiness will come.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (177546)
• United States
22 Jul 19
In certain instances you can choose between wallowing in your misery or pulling yourself up and being happy. It's not always possible if you suffer from depression; you may not be able to pull yourself out and up.
3 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
And i agree wholeheartedly there are things you can do to help yourself feel better.... but to me choosing to be happy is just not something that can be done....
3 people like this
@MommyOfEli2013 (83939)
• Rupert, Idaho
22 Jul 19
I always thought so, but I understand where you are coming from.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (180183)
• United States
22 Jul 19
I think you can choose to be happier, but it is pretty hard to be happy if you or a loved one is suffering. I think trying to always look at the positives in any situation goes a long way. If you try hard enough you can always find something.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
23 Jul 19
All we can do is try to put the best foot forward and hope for the best and we will feel differently
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
22 Jul 19
I saw that discussion also and I choose to go with that point of view. So I make happiness a pursuit and not sadness. By doing that my results will be happier ones.
If I'm unhappy about something then I think of how can I overcome this sadness and feel happier.
So, I choose to be happy in spite of sad things that may come my way. 
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116936)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Jul 19
@1hopefulman Thank you! You understand me.
4 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
But you do not choose it you either our happy or you are not..... You feel it.... You choose clothes you choose to brush your hair....
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
@1hopefulman saying one can choose happiness though implies that one can choose to be unhappy which no one would.... But alas we all have our opinions and I respect all of them.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
22 Jul 19
Many years ago I read a book by Barry Neil Kaufman. The book is called Happiness is a choice, and when I read it strongly agreed with the book. After that time I got my first depression and I discovered that happiness isn't always a choice. Today I would say that happiness is a choice in many situations, but there are exceptions like depressions. In many situations we have a choice. We can choose to complain about the bad things or we can choose appreciate the good things.
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
22 Jul 19
Happiness just isn't in the cards for many. It's a fragile things while sadness is inevitable.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
@JohnRoberts Yes i am always doing something because of it as it is when i am sitting still and not writing or talking or doing something that i sit and i dwell and feel worse....
2 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109846)
• Los Angeles, California
22 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom I think it's sadness, melancholy and unhappiness that drives us to seeking distractions.
2 people like this
@Ladanger (14578)
• United States
22 Jul 19
I do things to try and make me happy but like you said some things scar our lives sadly like me i was in a domestic violence relationship before and that changed me and from time to time i do things to make me not get those memories etc. I wish it was easy to just be happy.
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Exactly what we want so much is to be happy, i just feel terms like "Choose To Be Happy" are unfair because if we could choose to be happy it would be great but we can't..... but like you said we have things we can do to help us feel better but it usually is temporary
2 people like this
@Ladanger (14578)
• United States
22 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom yes exactly things to help us cope
2 people like this
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
22 Jul 19
Well, as far as dealing with a medical condition, I am sure even if people want to choose,it's difficult.
Happiness is always something that people look for, but it isn't this simple to achieve. Well, happiness is beyond what we read in fancy quotes. And I personally feel, down the line we figure out ways to find happiness
2 people like this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Yes and sometimes happiness finds us when we least expect it like today I was so sad because my cat was gone overnight I barely slept but as soon as he came in instant joy instant snuggles and love and I was oh so happy :) so even depressed peoe find happiness just sometimes it's not so often
2 people like this
@Aansh13 (11362)
• New Delhi, India
23 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom
Yes... Actually sometimes is something that we all find happiness
1 person likes this
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
22 Jul 19
Yes now that I agree with you have to be open to happiness even when you are sad as it may be the only way to save you
2 people like this
@Emeraude (134)
• Italy
22 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom Happiness can be small and sudden
2 people like this
@innertalks (21894)
• Australia
23 Jul 19
If there is a God, would he be happy, all of the time?
What is happiness?
Do we feel it in us, as some type of a feeling, or is it there already, installed in us, waiting for us to embrace it, or is it some type of a choice we make to be happy, intrinsically so, despite all of the circumstances around us?
Love is not happiness, neither is pain. Happiness is the icing on love’s cake though, but it is not often seen still on the cake of pain.
This means that when we love, we are happy too, because icing goes with the cake of love, but when we are sad, we are not happy, until we realise that all other emotions (other than love) are really just subsets or slices of love’s cake too, and so even these have love’s icing on the top of their particular slice too.
We think though we are only fully happy when we have the whole cake with the icing on it too.
The thing is though, we can be happy about being sad, by seeing that even this sadness, still has the icing of happiness on it, because every slice, every emotion, really comes from love's cake.
All there is, is love.
The rest are lesser qualities of love being experienced for various reasons, perhaps only ever known to love, and to the person, eventually, who has gone through this experience with love.
The hardest experience, when we look back on it, having finally gotten past it, or through it, has taught us more about ourselves, about love, and about how God's world operates, both for us, and for others in it too.
We usually see and acknowledge this to be so, especially when we tell others, that we would not have altered one bit of our lives, because it has gotten us to where we are now.
1 person likes this
@innertalks (21894)
• Australia
23 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom That article that you pointed us towards talked about joy. Joy and love are almost the same in my book. Joy, she said was more an attribute of our soul.
When we feel down and out, if we can contact our deeper self, we will still feel that seed of joy there, waiting to be sprouted.
Happiness is experienced when that seed of joy sprouts in us, or when we bear fruit for God, fulfilling our role, that he has created us for, and so being the person, that he wants us to be, to put a religious slant onto this.
For me, I am not interested in surface happiness. I want the greater happiness of inner peace and connection to something greater than myself.
All of my life, I have chased after God, hoping that he exists, and I know that without him existing, I could not be happy at the deeper level that I want to be happy. So, it's all a bit of a catch 22 with me.
I am not happy, when I am happy, because, it is not a deeper enough happiness. I want to live from only love.
All other emotions I have no time for in some ways, as, to me, they remain only on the surface of who I really am, or who I think that I really am, anyway.
1 person likes this
@innertalks (21894)
• Australia
23 Jul 19
@chrissbergstrom Or, the happiness in our sadness, or the love, in our unhappiness.
God can help us to be happy, joyful, loving, kind-spirited, all of these things, I think too.
@chrissbergstrom (10767)
• Banks, Oregon
23 Jul 19
@innertalks God is only one whom helps us see the light in the darkness
1 person likes this
