I need to get this off my chest...

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I need to talk about this, but I don't want to burden my family right now. My daughter in college is going through some scary stuff with her asthma and bronchitis, my older son hates me for some reason, and the others are young and I don't want them to have to worry about anything. So, a horrible flu-like virus ravaged the household. It only took me a few days to get over it, but it took the rest weeks, and some developed bronchitis. My 3 yo had a horrible eczema outbreak, and I should have known what was coming next. My MS has flared up so bad, and I'm terrified. I finally called the dr yesterday and I have an appt on Tuesday morning (because Monday is a holiday). This morning I experienced what was worse than the pain, numbness, brain fog, etc...paralysis. I woke up and was completely paralyzed, alone, and couldn't do anything about it. I could wiggle my fingers a bit, and I was involuntarily having muscle spasms, and when I would stop breathing for a second I would involuntarily gasp. It was terrifying! I just wanted someone to walk in and help, but no one did. It was like having sleep paralysis, but I was wide awake. I panicked and eventually calmed down, told myself I wasn't going to die, and fell asleep. I woke up and was still in pain, but could move! I got out of bed and took some prednisone and am trying to not cry. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel that helpless ever again. I hope that my dr will recommend a caregiver, because I am so scared. I really don't want to lose my independence, but I don't want to die either! I think that my MS symptoms have finally overpowered the agoraphobia and I need to start seeing my drs more regularly. I just hope I can find someone I trust to help.