Am I wrong to feel offended?

By Macy
Philippines
April 17, 2020 4:16am CST
Because of the massive lockdown in the region of Luzon, many of our citizens are left with no jobs and no income. Many work on a day to day basis. If they don’t work, they won’t get paid. Such is the case for some of our relatives and friends as well. Sometime on the second week of the lockdown, my husband already sent out financial aid to some colleagues, friends and relatives – a total of about 25 people, if I got that right. It was the least we could do. If we weren’t on strict quarantine here in the province, we’d be willing to drive around and bring food and other goods to immediate relatives and the closest of our friends. One day, I got a message via Facebook messenger from a former classmate in grade school. We’re connected on FB but rarely chatted. In fact, we chatted only once before when I approved her friend request which was more than a year ago. She asked how I’ve been doing and started referring to me as “bestie.” Sure, there was one year in grade school that we were close because we were both competitive dancers. But I don’t recall that we were ever the best of friends. Anyway, I replied that I’m okay and wished her well. And then she asked for money, saying that she hasn’t received any relief goods and that her family is in Manila, far from her. Instantly, I felt offended. So she messages me after a long time and then asks for money? Of course, I felt guilty for feeling that way too. How selfish of me. People resort to desperate measures during desperate times. I had to ask some of our classmates if her account was legit and if she was also asking money from them. As it appears, I’m the only classmate that she’s requested money from. And that’s okay, except that I could only send thru PayPal at the moment and she doesn’t have that account. I even dared to drive to the supermarket last week to look for a remittance center but it was closed. I told her that establishments here are closed and that she’ll have to wait until the lockdown is lifted. Our community enforces very strict measures and we cannot just go to any place we want at any time. Also, I don't go out every time for fear of contracting the virus. Of course, I feel bad for not sending her anything. I’ve sent financial aid to others via PayPal as soon as requests were made. I’ve made donations via PayPal as well. And even if I took slight offense with what she did, I’d be willing to send her money **RIGHT AWAY** if only she had a PayPal account. But still, she insists that I send her money through other means even if I can’t do that at the moment. Oh well. Does it look like I’m the only friend she’s had through the years? I don't think so. Now I’m hoping that remittance centers nearby would open soon so I can send her money and be done with it. Sorry if I seem so selfish. I just wish some people would understand that I don’t secrete money all the time…
9 people like this
10 responses
@Alexandoy (65308)
• Cainta, Philippines
17 Apr 20
I have learned my lesson on helping people. Not all the needy deserve to be helped.
3 people like this
@Alexandoy (65308)
• Cainta, Philippines
18 Apr 20
@almostoveryou maybe I was like you when I was young until I realized those "leeches" in my circle.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77164)
• Germany
17 Apr 20
I agree with you @Alexandoy
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
I know what you mean. I've had leeches for friends and I know I've been generous to a degree. I'm still willing to help but I remind myself every time that it's not my duty to cover all their expenses.
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35037)
• Philippines
17 Apr 20
Kindness can somehow be abused.
3 people like this
@thelme55 (77164)
• Germany
17 Apr 20
That is true @yoalldudes. That really sucks.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
Unfortunately that's often the case. :o/
@msdivkar (23359)
• India
17 Apr 20
You seem to have a helping nature. Nice to help your friends and relatives in times of their need. This is one of the worst situations that one may ever face.
2 people like this
@msdivkar (23359)
• India
18 Apr 20
@almostoveryou It is so very bad.
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
True. I know that people would do anything to have food and money during this crisis. And it's sad that our government cannot provide these basic needs.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (77164)
• Germany
17 Apr 20
I can relate to that kind of friend who only remembers me when in need. Even if she has a paypal account, she still can´t get the money because the banks there are close. Enjoy your weekend.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (77164)
• Germany
18 Apr 20
@almostoveryou that is true. I have a cousin, not a close one and she messaged my husband and sent a photo of a swollen leg. It was supposed to be the swollen leg of her mother. She was asking for money for medication. Why she didn´t send me the message directly to me? Because I know that she was lying. She was thinking that my husband just sent but she didn´t know him well. He showed the photo to me. She was a liar and she has been lying to us often times before. I asked her sister and it was not the leg of their mother.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Apr 20
@thelme55 what a terrible lie! I don't know if I could ever talk to a person like that ever again. These people are unaware that these bad things that they do will eventually get back at them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
Banks and ATMs here are often though I doubt if she even has a bank account. Yes, it's sad that there are people who only remember you when they need something. And they come to you like entitled beggars.
1 person likes this
@Mamerto32 (2783)
• Canlubang, Philippines
17 Apr 20
Though it is nice of you to help your classmate, I think it is not polite for your classmate to be pretty demanding. Firstly, you are not that close. And when I worked in an electronics company years ago, people from the province got an unwritten rule about money. That one should not push someone to lend you one.
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
I guess people tend to forget their manners when they're in dire need. Though if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't bother asking a classmate whom I haven't been really in touch with for like a million years. I'd probably find other ways and means. The problem with some people is their feeling of helplessness. I believe this classmate did not finish high school so it's hard for her to find a decent living. She got pregnant at 15 and now have grandchidlren. You know the usual story.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
@Mamerto32 I would at least assume that her grown children are capable of earning their own keep. It's sad though if they themselves are not able to sustain their mother (my classmate). Anyway, for sure, I'd send her something if I can. Thing is, her FB account was recently hacked. Now I'm confused so I'm not sending her anything or chatting with her for now because my account might get compromised as well. This is also making me wonder if I've been chatting with the real classmate or a hacker who's been consistently asking me for money.
1 person likes this
@Mamerto32 (2783)
• Canlubang, Philippines
18 Apr 20
@almostoveryou for some reason, now I feel sorry about your classmate. But if you are willing to help, do it on your own way, and your own capacity. At least you are trying to help.
1 person likes this
@happylife1 (13404)
• Karachi, Pakistan
17 Apr 20
Oh... You offence is right... She is not understanding your problems
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Apr 20
I suppose she was just very desperate. I just wish she wouldn't make it appear like I'm the only savior she's got. I live so far away from her and have not been in touch with her since forever. LOL
@m_audrey6788 (58472)
• Germany
17 Apr 20
You did what you can and for me that`s really nice of you to think of other people. God bless you and your family for being so good to others
1 person likes this
• Germany
18 Apr 20
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Apr 20
Thank you. That somehow lessens my guilt.
1 person likes this
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
17 Apr 20
She should just create a paypal account to be considerate to you but then again maybe she has no bank account to withdraw it.
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Apr 20
I've guessed that too. Then again, I can't be the only option that she has, right?
@Lushlala (4028)
• Gaborone, Botswana
25 Apr 20
I know we are all hard up but I'd feel exactly the same as you. I'm sorry but it's in poor taste to start asking for money when you've not been in touch for so long. No matter how desperate, I personally would never have the guts to do that.
1 person likes this
@Lushlala (4028)
• Gaborone, Botswana
26 Apr 20
@almostoveryou You'll probably find this lady is a user, a leech and has already done the rounds. My gut feeling is that she's exploiting the situation to her benefit.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Apr 20
I cannot agree with you more. I just hope that her closest family and friends have extended help to her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Apr 20
@Lushlala true. I feel so sorry for people like her.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
21 Apr 20
@almostoveryou I think she has nerve wanting money from you and not letting up on it. Does she think you have money to give to just anyone?
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
21 Apr 20
@almostoveryou If her account has been hacked then stay away from her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Apr 20
I know she's desperate. But her account's been hacked. Now I'm not sure if I should still talk to her. Don't know anymore who I'm chatting with!
1 person likes this