Friendship standards.

May 14, 2020 5:46pm CST
I have a work colleague that I guess in some way has become a friend. I have known her for 4 years now. But whenever she meets any one of my normal type of friends, she is rude... I mean I have never known someone to have such bad communication skills. Even some of our customers think she is rude, she isn't a horrible person, and she claims she struggles with shyness but I used to be shy, my best friend also used to be shy, between us we know that if your a kind and friendly person, that even if you are shy, you wouldn't treat people like this. My best friend asked me to be careful being friends with her as she strikes her as being someone who is back stabbing and two faced. My other friends also don't understand why I am friends with her. I honestly think I have some idea as to why she is like that, I think she takes after her Mum, who also is extremely controlling. Her behaviour when I have gone out with her has often been self absorbed and one way conversations, here and there she has got better. We now share a best friend who comes to me a lot, upset about how my colleague speaks to her through text. I guess we shouldn't take it personally. some people don't write essays. however my colleague only writes one or two word messages and comes off rather blunt and in a mood. lately because my colleague has new boyfriend, she has been rather busy with him and my other friend and I have been pushed to the side lines. When my other friend texts her she now when texting her "Hey hun, are you ok." gets replies of "Yes busy." what would you think of this behaviour, would you stand for it? My 35th birthday she sat at my meal and blanked my friends when they tried talking to her and she kind of starred at them all giving evils most of the evening and sat in silence. My friend said she felt like she was made to feel unwelcome. I never told her about this I just let it slide, took it as a night that she wasn't quite herself. Obviously there was a reason I befriended her, but actually I am afraid this was herself and I know that I can not really mix her with my other friends with whom I have known for a lot longer. Then comes the dreaded invites to any events... I am always weary of inviting her to anything as I know she generally sits there with a face on her like she was slapped by a wet trout. Is there a reason why I know her? because I truly believe people come into your life for a reason.
8 people like this
11 responses
• Japan
15 May 20
I think you are kind to allow her to be a friend. She needs friends. Good for you.
1 person likes this
15 May 20
Thank you I do think she struggles. Yet she does not seem to be without friends either. I may not totally understand her but I am willing to try.
@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
16 May 20
You don't have to friends with people if you don't like the way they treat other people.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
15 May 20
Sorry, I can't read such a long text which isn't spaced. Can't you divide it into paragraphs to make it more readable for members with glasses? Members without glasses will appreciate spaces, too, I'm sure.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16377)
• Raurkela, India
16 May 20
I think after being friends for a long time you can talk to her about her behaviour.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56486)
• Philippines
15 May 20
You don't know the very why you befriended with her for 4 years. You have the patience and you have the time to listen to her. She's defensive and you know why. You stick with her so is with her for a reason. Leave her and her life will be in disarray.
1 person likes this
@Lakshman15 (2662)
• India
16 May 20
Friendship means must accept all good and bad habits too..if possible say politely she will understand..
1 person likes this
@Alexandoy (65308)
• Cainta, Philippines
15 May 20
This reminds me of a colleague in my former office who is an outcast - no one wants to be friends with her because of his bad manners. But out of pity, I tried to be her friend.
1 person likes this
@pjmurphy (2499)
• United States
15 May 20
To me, your friend sounds like someone who has been hurt a lot in life and puts up a lot of defenses.
1 person likes this
@mrki444 (15149)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
14 May 20
So she is ok when is with you but with your friends she is rude?
15 May 20
truth is I find her rude a lot of the time. I don't feel that she listens to me, I am an easy going person and tend to be friends with everyone. Its not that I don't like her as yes she can be fine and perfectly pleasant and we have become friends. But yes generally she is rude, perhaps only comes across this way because she does not know how to interact well. I actually have come to point of where I just accepted it is her as I have mentioned when I have not been happy with her attitude but she is the way she is. I tolerate it and do not take it to heart, but my other friend does seem to get upset by it.
1 person likes this
@mrki444 (15149)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
15 May 20
@KeepCalmdrinktea Maybe she just want you for friend and she also don't like you to have other people for friends.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23284)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 May 20
If i were you i would avoid such kind of person.
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22903)
• Serbia
17 May 20
Life has taught me to avoid such people, it is easier to live without them