Friendship standards.

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I have a work colleague that I guess in some way has become a friend. I have known her for 4 years now. But whenever she meets any one of my normal type of friends, she is rude... I mean I have never known someone to have such bad communication skills. Even some of our customers think she is rude, she isn't a horrible person, and she claims she struggles with shyness but I used to be shy, my best friend also used to be shy, between us we know that if your a kind and friendly person, that even if you are shy, you wouldn't treat people like this. My best friend asked me to be careful being friends with her as she strikes her as being someone who is back stabbing and two faced. My other friends also don't understand why I am friends with her. I honestly think I have some idea as to why she is like that, I think she takes after her Mum, who also is extremely controlling. Her behaviour when I have gone out with her has often been self absorbed and one way conversations, here and there she has got better. We now share a best friend who comes to me a lot, upset about how my colleague speaks to her through text. I guess we shouldn't take it personally. some people don't write essays. however my colleague only writes one or two word messages and comes off rather blunt and in a mood. lately because my colleague has new boyfriend, she has been rather busy with him and my other friend and I have been pushed to the side lines. When my other friend texts her she now when texting her "Hey hun, are you ok." gets replies of "Yes busy." what would you think of this behaviour, would you stand for it? My 35th birthday she sat at my meal and blanked my friends when they tried talking to her and she kind of starred at them all giving evils most of the evening and sat in silence. My friend said she felt like she was made to feel unwelcome. I never told her about this I just let it slide, took it as a night that she wasn't quite herself. Obviously there was a reason I befriended her, but actually I am afraid this was herself and I know that I can not really mix her with my other friends with whom I have known for a lot longer. Then comes the dreaded invites to any events... I am always weary of inviting her to anything as I know she generally sits there with a face on her like she was slapped by a wet trout. Is there a reason why I know her? because I truly believe people come into your life for a reason.