it's all in my head

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I have a secret. Well, obviously I have more than one, but the one I want to tell you about is a new-ish one. I haven't told anybody because Husband would just grumble about how I'm falling apart and my brothers would think I'm jumping on their little bandwagon. For a few years I've been able to hear {not all the time, just occasionally} church bells or ambulances. When no church bells have been ringing and no ambulances are going past. A few weeks ago I could hear what I can only describe as a chainsaw. About two weeks ago I suddenly realised that I could hear music. It's a near constant tune in my head {one of two, tunes, not heads} and every so often it gets stuck, much like a record in the days of old. Musical Ear Syndrome, said Google when I enquired. Auditory hallucinations, he explained when I delved ever deeper. Basically a type of tinnitus, he went on to say, when prodded. Don't worry, it isn't dangerous, he concluded. It just means that your hearing is effed up. I don't care what it is, I just wish it would scarper and go and frustrate someone else. Google does say I should probably pop along to see the doctor - just in case - but I genuinely hate leaving the house at the moment, so I am happy to suffer in musical/broken record silence, with the occasional moan on here to get it out of my system. My hearing has been skewy for a while. I often have to ask people to repeat things, or it takes a while for my brain and ears to work together and process wordage in conversations. I rarely hear the cat when she meows in a certain pitch at the front door, but I can hear the bubbles in a carbonated drink fizzing from three metres away. Likewise, I can hear the ticking of my {old fashioned, how quaint} alarm clock in a way I never could a couple of months ago, as if I'm tuned in to - and a part of - the internal mechanisms and not just the standard "tick tock". As it stands, I'm not in the best place right now, emotionally or mentally, and maybe that affects it. I don't know. I'm ignoring conversations on the family group chat and I feel that I'm withdrawing into my own little bubble, but it's not an unpleasant feeling. It's actually quite nice and comforting. My whole world is Husband and two fluffy, fickle cats and it could stay that way for ever and I would be content. With a daily text and occasional phone call with my dearest Mumma, of course. And as I wrote that last paragraph I realised just how unhinged I may be becoming. *Big Sigh*