Be lost And find yourself again!!!

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This my philosophy in life, we as human beings it is in our nature, in our DNA, we are frightened when it comes to having a little change in our thinking, just because we are not sure whether there is another correct way or not afraid of trying new things .....Sometimes you find yourself not okay, for no reason, you're following the instructions that were given to you, it just doesn’t work for you, not suitable, simply not yours; you know it deep down, but you just refuse the change, afraid to start the journey of your life, to find your path, find your way, find YOU...... Typing is one way to start your own journey, write whatever you got in your mind, start drafting, and then you will be able to manage how to be good at playing white. Just to tell you that nothing is for guaranteed also there is no coincidence in life, you have met some people for a reason, you went through experiences they will give you feedback later on. While I am writing this I know that I am lost, and I just start the journey with you to find myself and hope this will help you find yourself too. I will start from the beginning, I prefer to start in 2014 when I was 18 years old, an adult aware of what I am doing, or in other words responsible for my behaviors.