Hah! I managed to talk to a talker and do 50% of the talking!

@TheHorse (220356)
Walnut Creek, California
August 29, 2020 3:00pm CST
As you know, I often kvetch (Yiddish for b*tch and moan, I think) about people who talk too much and don't listen. I just talked to a musician friend who is among those who usually out-talks me by about 97% to 3% in any phone conversation. But I had a specific thing I wanted to b*tch and moan about--the fact that his buddy didn't call me back when I offered to have a really good local musician play on his friend's "radio show." I had had a glass of wine, and did NOT let my musician friend dominate the conversation. Do you ever pay attention to how much you TALK versus LISTEN in phone conversations?
20 people like this
19 responses
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
29 Aug 20
Yes I do and usually I listen the most, but it depends on the subject and my mood.
2 people like this
• Mojave, California
29 Aug 20
It is usually the lady that does all the talking but not always, I met this one women in the National Guard and oh my was she so quiet. Quiet on the verge were could tell she just did not like me. As my favorite bartender once explained everyone likes you, no they do not. It was so damn awkward as I am a awkward person from the start, but when I feel the need to say strike a conversation, you being something. I barley said 5 sentences to her on 6 to 8 hour drive. Every time I opened my mouth just shut up and go type attitude. I get she was shy, but shy bordering on rude, because Trust me, you could get real jerk male talkers and maybe that is what it was, some ladies really like the bad boys and I have never been able to pull off the bad boy image, even though I have always been a outcast and swear like I am walking on hot rusty nails.
2 people like this
• Mojave, California
29 Aug 20
@CarolDM Indeed, but you can always tell if someone is like that or if they just do not like you and she had both those things going. I think overall people should shut their trap for a at least a minute and catch something where it benefits them. I had times where I was in a rage because someone made me mad, but since I am normally so quiet, I can still hear other conversations.My friends said shut up to each other, we get it was a jerk move, but cannot be changed now, as if I would not hear them over my ranting and raving. So I let it go and then everyone became happy again.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
29 Aug 20
@crossbones27 It goes both ways, all depends on the person. I have always been on the quiet side. You learn more like that.
4 people like this
@marguicha (223850)
• Chile
29 Aug 20
I avoided people who did all the talking face to face. I want t have my share of the talk too.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223850)
• Chile
29 Aug 20
@TheHorse We canĀ“t ecpect 50 50. But 97 verus 3 is too much
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
29 Aug 20
@marguicha I experience 97/3 way too often.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
29 Aug 20
50/50 would be ideal. But I rarely encounter that.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (47085)
• India
30 Aug 20
Well it can vary. I have a friend who talks 98.5% and then if he "feels" he lets me speak a bit. For others, it is 60-40 or 70-30 approximately.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (47085)
• India
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Not always. There have been times when I have been accused of being a horrible listener(well mostly by my wife!!!)
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (47085)
• India
31 Aug 20
@TheHorse That I do not listen or I am hard at hearing many things.
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
I take it you're a pretty good listener.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317277)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Aug 20
Yes, I have noticed that. I'm not dominant, though get me started and I can be.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
I like to "tell my story." But hey, that's what MyLot is for.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
@just4him Heh. How are things in Wisconsin today?
1 person likes this
@just4him (317277)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Yes, it is.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (181931)
• United States
30 Aug 20
My husband and I have a friend that doesn't let you get a word in edgewise. You have to actually interrupt him to say something. Have a wonderful Sunday.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Does he interrupt your interruptions?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
31 Aug 20
@LindaOHio Good for him! With some of my friends, I can't get through a sentence without being interrupted.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (181931)
• United States
31 Aug 20
@TheHorse No, he usually listens.
1 person likes this
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
29 Aug 20
I do. Although I cant count on two fingers the phone conversations I've had in the last five months. I am not a phone talker, and if I talk to anyone, its the school or my MIL.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
29 Aug 20
Is the talking and listening balanced? I am "trained" in listening, as I am a psychologist. But sometimes I get p*ssed off when I spend the whole time listening and never get to talk.
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Yeah usually, anyone that talks more or takes up more of the conversation is usually an old person. At least in my life. Lol.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
@thislittlepennyearns Heh. Older people like to tell their stories. But the "talkers" I know are of all ages.
@Torunn (8607)
• Norway
30 Aug 20
Oh yes, working on that in conversations generally, as I'm a talker. So when I'm with more silent friends I try to get them going, thinking that it's actually my job to make people talk in school/university so I should be able to do it privately too.
1 person likes this
@Torunn (8607)
• Norway
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Yes, that's part of the point I think. If only I talk, everyone (including myself) get bored. And talking about things usually makes the talker understand more.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
@Torunn I agree entirely!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
As a fellow teacher, I do like to get others to talk in class.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472087)
• Switzerland
30 Aug 20
I always do, I try to never out talk because I am extremely annoyed when someone does this to me.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (472087)
• Switzerland
31 Aug 20
@TheHorse I also dislike listening for hours to someone who only loves to talk but does not listen. I have a cousin like that, she talks and talks and talks.
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
I think I dislike interruptions (which many talkers do) the most.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41774)
• United States
30 Aug 20
I probably do more listening than talking. Did Horse Jr and his mom get to NC okay? Oh, wait, how many days will it take them to get here?
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41774)
• United States
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Did that call at 2am scare you? That seems like bad news at that of time of the morning, but glad they're doing okay. NC is such a long, wide state, so it might be several hours difference whether they're going to western NC or eastern NC.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
@1creekgirl Heh. I slept through it. But he ended it up by snoring and made me laugh this morning.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
I think they're shooting for three. I got a call from Horse Jr. at 2 AM last night. They made it to New Mexico. By now, I'd imaging they're in Northern Texas. I will give them a call soon.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (10113)
• United States
30 Aug 20
I rarely get on the phone other than for business but occasionally, someone will call verses text and I do about 2% of the talking. There are occasions I may actually get in half myself. I have some talker friends too.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Aug 20
I don't really but mostly I'm a listener rather than a talker.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Does that ever frustrate you? I admit that listening and never talking sometimes frustrates me.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
@JudyEv I don't mind maybe a 70/30 balance, but I like to talk sometimes.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Sometimes it does but mostly I'm happy enough not to have to talk.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
30 Aug 20
@TheHorse Yes, I do. I do have to learn how to listen more.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
You're a "talker"?
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130213)
• Israel
31 Aug 20
@TheHorse Sometimes I am very curious so ask a lot of questions and other times I just do not care so do not say anything.
@dgobucks226 (35770)
30 Aug 20
I'm not much of a phone talker, so I would be more of the listener. Must of been satisfying to get the upper hand on your friend for a change
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Heh heh. It was a "planned mission."
1 person likes this
@SanNTH (114)
• Hanoi, Vietnam
30 Aug 20
Hello, let's get acquainted, nice to meet you!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Welcome aboard! Read the guidelines, get involved in conversations, and have fun!
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@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
31 Aug 20
@SanNTH De nada.
@SanNTH (114)
• Hanoi, Vietnam
31 Aug 20
@TheHorse Ok, thanks you
1 person likes this
@beesure11 (234)
30 Aug 20
You know that old saying. You learn when you listen!
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
I agree. Hey, you should separate your words beneath your comment with commas. More effective that way.
@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
30 Aug 20
That must be exhausting to overtalk a talker. But good job!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Heh heh. I was determined to do it when I called him.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37383)
• Toccoa, Georgia
31 Aug 20
Yes I pay attention.
@wolfgirl569 (108301)
• Marion, Ohio
30 Aug 20
Sometimes. I know who the talkers are when I hear from them.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220356)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 20
Yep. Same here.
1 person likes this
@Marmens (38)
• Spain
30 Aug 20
You did a great job! It's not easy to get the word when you are trying to maintain a conversation with a talker. In my job, it's important to listen to people and to know how to talk to them.