I'm Okay
By Sharon
@simone10 (54187)
Louisville, Kentucky
September 8, 2020 3:24am CST
The picture above is my brother. He was only 51 years old. I want to let everyone know that I am okay. I will admit that this is the hardest thing I have had to deal with. For those who don't know, my brother passed away at home on 8/29/20.
Sometimes it feels like he is just at work. Then it hits me at night that he is gone. I haven't been able to watch any of the shows we watched together. Its just too hard. I have my moments when I break down but when it becomes unbearable, I make myself stop crying. I can only grieve a little at a time or I would lose my mind.
The only way I've been able to get through the days is reading. I've been reading my Bible in the mornings and then other spiritual books I have downloaded on my kindle. I'm going to try being on mylot too, like I was when Bella passed away.
I have to contact the manager today and see if she will let me stay here a couple more months at least. Its going to take me quite a while to pack everything up as we have so much stuff and I have no help so it will be all up to me. But with God's help I will get it done.
I want to thank everyone for their kind and beautiful words and for all the prayers. Its amazing to realize how so many people care, so many people I have never met yet I feel like we are all family. I love you all.
40 people like this
39 responses
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
13 Sep 20
Thank you! Chuck was so insecure and didn't think he was handsome at all. The good thing about the apartment is that I am on the lease too. So I can stay here as long as I want or as long as I need to. Thank you for the prayers, they are needed and very much appreciated.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
8 Sep 20
Sending loads of hugs and I hope you get the time you need to sort things out, this is a major decision you are facing.He was so young and it is hard to fathom how these things happen.
4 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
13 Sep 20
I can't help but think that if he had gone to the emergency room when he first had the chest pain, he might still be alive. I know, these ifs and should haves, etc., can drive you crazy. I have to accept that no matter what, it was his time to go. Luckily, I am on the lease so I can stay as long as I need to.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (471541)
• Switzerland
8 Sep 20
Thank you for showing us your brother. You often wrote about him, but I think it is the first time I see a photo of him. He was so young, how horrible that he is no more. I hope that the manager will you let stay another couple of months. I thought to you often, packing everything yourself it surely is a hard work. How is your little Daisy?
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
14 Sep 20
I would have shown a picture of him and told his name before, but I didn't want to involve his privacy. Yes, it really is horrible and I'm reminded of it every time I pass by his bedroom. I miss him and our talks every day. I find myself thinking, I need to tell Chuck about that. I feel so alone right now. My name is on the lease so I am able to stay as long as I can afford it. Daisy goes to his room several times a day. She goes inside, lifts her nose up and smells, then comes out. It breaks my heart.
4 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
15 Sep 20
@LadyDuck I didn't want to invade his privacy, but now it doesn't matter. It's really hard, isn't it, when you think you must tell Daddy? I know those feelings will go away over time. I am worried about Daisy though. I know she is working through this the best she knows how. Last night I picked her up and put her on his bed. She smelled all over the bed and then I put her down. I hope it helped her.
2 people like this
@nela13 (58669)
• Portugal
9 Sep 20
I am happy to see you here again. Thank you for sharing a photo of your dear brother with us, I can imagine how terrible this has been to you. I hope the manager let you stay for the time you need. I will keep you in my prayers and if you need to talk feel free to message me.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (180760)
• United States
8 Sep 20
I am really glad you are doing OK. It is so hard to deal with loss especially if it is unexpected. I am glad you feel like you can go on even though it is hard. Remember your mylot family is always here for you....
.3 people like this
@snowy22315 (180760)
• United States
14 Sep 20
@simone10 It will be hatd. So you have others who can a hi support you?
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
15 Sep 20
@snowy22315 Unfortunately, no, I'm here alone. It was just me and my brother. Our family lives in Tennessee. Everyone here has been so supportive though.
@Juliaacv (51211)
• Canada
13 Sep 20
@simone10 It sounds like you had such a sweet and loving relationship, talking every day is very special, especially in this day and age where people want quick texts and are always in a hurry. It doesn't seem like it was that way between the 2 of you. I am sure that made his final years very rich.
I agree with you, we learn to live without those that we love. My Dad has been gone for 11 years and I still wish he were here, every single day.
You have me, and your many other friends here. You lean on us. You have Daisy, which is a huge blessing, as you need her as much as she needs you right now.
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
15 Sep 20
@Juliaacv Don't get me wrong, we did have our sibling moments. As a matter of fact, we had a huge argument the weekend before he passed. We didn't speak for almost 2 days. Neither of us wanted to give in first. I am so thankful now that it was resolved before he passed away. And I also learned, it doesn't matter who gives in first. It was childish on both our parts.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79867)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
9 Sep 20
I am so sorry to hear this but know your brother is close by and watching over you. Just take things one day at a time. What did he die of? Virtual hugs and many blessings to you,
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
19 Sep 20
@RasmaSandra Thank you so much for your kind words. I just hate that he was alone but glad that he wasn't in any pain.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (79867)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
16 Sep 20
@simone10 he definitely had no pain. A friend's husband also passed this way and the doctor told her first he was in bed sleeping and the next he woke up in the world beyond. So there was also no problem with the transition and I know he is watching over you and you'll meet again someday
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
8 Sep 20
@simone10
I have been thinking and praying for you. I know it must be so hard for you right now. He was very young. Thank you for sharing the picture of your brother with us. You need to take care of yourself and if you need to cry then do so. If you need time to be away from here then do so. If you feel it is better for you to be here then do that. I am so so sorry there is no one to help you pack things up. I hope you can stay the time you need. Just take care of yourself. I know it is so hard for you.
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
13 Sep 20
Thank you so much, I found great comfort in your words. I'm trying to do whatever helps me at the moment as it changes so much during the day. Right now, I have found that I can't think a lot about it as I can't handle it all at one time. I'm just trying to get used to not seeing him every day. I'm on anxiety meds that are helping with that.
3 people like this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
9 Sep 20
I couldn't not help feeling emotional whole reading your post. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I haven't experienced the loss of a family member yet, but it is inevitable. I will pray God tonight so you have the strength to go through this. I bet whenever your brother is he is so proud of you! Never forget that!
3 people like this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
14 Sep 20
@simone10 May God bless you!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
13 Sep 20
I hope the manager gives you the time you need. I wish you had help or that some of us lived closer to help you.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (41428)
• United States
9 Sep 20
I am so very sorry about your brother. I'll pray that God will give you comfort and strength.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (178701)
• United States
8 Sep 20
I'm so sorry you have had so much sadness this year. I hope you will be able to stay to pack up what you need to do. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
3 people like this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
11 Sep 20
it is hard, I remember when i lost my dad, i struggled with that for a long time.
2 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
15 Sep 20
@DocAndersen It is hard. We lived together for 10 years and he was my best friend. He was a great brother. I really miss him.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54402)
• United States
14 Sep 20
@simone10 i am sorry, it has to be really hard.
1 person likes this
