Sad and Alone
By Sharon
@simone10 (54187)
Louisville, Kentucky
September 12, 2020 7:18am CST
I know I said it would be a while before I posted again but I feel the need to write down my feelings. I am writing in a journal and that helps some. I understand if you don't want to read some of my posts. That's okay, I understand. I will try and keep a lot of the stuff in my journal.
I was finally able to open my brother's door. I guess it doesn't matter if I write his name now. His name is Chuck. I went for a whole week avoiding his room and kept the door shut. Ever since I opened his door, Daisy goes in there several times a day. Sometimes she whines and tries to get on the bed. Other times she goes in and smells his comforter which is on the floor where it's been since he passed away. She seems to be missing him more than Bella. I think they had a stronger connection that I thought they did. I am being more loving and understanding with her. Like I was when Bella died.
Right before Chuck passed away, Daisy started hiding, like she does when she's scared of thunder or loud noises. I didn't understand it at the time, but I wonder if she could sense that he wouldn't be here long. Now, she hides all the time. I try to get her to come to me. Sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't. When she doesn't, I leave her and let come out on her own. It breaks my heart to do that but I think it's best for her.
**This photo is from Pixabay and this is how Daisy and I feel most of the time. Sad and alone**
26 people like this
27 responses
@Marilynda1225 (82799)
• United States
12 Sep 20
Sending you lots of hugs Sharon
I think you're smart to write your feelings. I'm happy you posted here today so that we know how you're doing.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (471541)
• Switzerland
12 Sep 20
I think that Daisy had the feeling that something wrong and horrible was going to happen. Just like you, she needs a bit of time to adjust to the new situation. Let her go when she does not want to come, she will come back to you when she feels better and safer. Take care Sharon.
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (50256)
• United States
12 Sep 20
I’m glad that you can talk to us. I can’t even imagine the sadness you feel. I know what he meant to you. I think writing about him is healthy.
I think writing about him is healthy.3 people like this
@CarolDM (203422)
• Nashville, Tennessee
12 Sep 20
Do whatever you need to do. We are here to listen. Animals grieve as well. Glad oyu were able to do this. I know how hard it is. One step at a time. And I believe animals sense many things we have no idea about. Hugs to you. Be kind to yourself.
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
28 Sep 20
I'm glad to say that Daisy now only goes in his room a couple of times a day. She's getting better. It's still hard for me to go in his room. His shoes are on the floor where he left them and his glasses are on the dresser. His desk is just the way he left it. I have to go in his room sometimes because there is a shelf in his closet that we have extra food stored. His closet is even worse for me because of all of his clothes.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
1 Oct 20
@CarolDM I'm ok with his door opened. I just don't like going in his room. Now, I just rush in, get what I need and rush back out. I try not to look at anything. I will probably be here until after March, maybe longer. My kids live in Memphis and I would like to live somewhere in Tennessee but not Memphis.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
12 Sep 20
I'm sorry again about your brothers passing. It is hard to deal with but glad you have us to talk to if you need to vent. Glad you got the courage to open the door again even though it brings tears and sadness. Dogs can sense when we humans are sad or know somethings wrong. She will come around give her time.
2 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
12 Sep 20
So sorry about your brother and of course the dog will miss him terribly at first.
If a journal helps you then its a really good thing for you personally.
Is that the kind of dog she is?
Lovely photo even if its of another dog..
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89882)
• Arvada, Colorado
12 Sep 20
What happened to Chuck if you do not mind me asking Sharon? Was it his heart?
Oh yes, animals can sense so much more than we do.
I am glad you are writing things here, it will help you too.
We are here.
I am sorry for what you are going through, I know you were very close to your beloved brother RIP
I am sorry for what you are going through, I know you were very close to your beloved brother RIP2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (89882)
• Arvada, Colorado
29 Sep 20
@simone10 I hope he did not feel a thing Sharon.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
1 Oct 20
@RebeccasFarm I hope not either. I didn't want to ask the coroner because I didn't want to know if he did.
@wolfgirl569 (106298)
• Marion, Ohio
12 Sep 20
It takes time for all. Hope Daisy starts coming out more
2 people like this
@Butterfingers (66583)
• India
12 Sep 20
I can understand the feeling dear. Take care
2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
13 Sep 20
critters 're very intuitive 'n form bonds we human don't 'lways 'nderstand. my heart aches fer ya both, hon. i know 'twas hard to open that door, but prolly 'twas best fer ya both. the journalin' 'tis'n 'xcellent idea to get'cher thoughts out. there's times fer comfortin', other times we jest've to work out our loss'n our own. e'erybody (e'en critters) 'tis diff'rent 'n there'd be no timeline fer grievin'.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
3 Oct 20
@crazyhorseladycx Yes, she does still miss him and its been a month now. She used to go in his room all the time. Now she only goes once or twice a day. She's getting used to him being gone. She has this funny little howl that she does instead barking. She will howl at me and pick up one of her toys and wants me to play with her. My heart isn't in it 100%, but I will stop whatever I am doing and play with her for a little bit.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
3 Oct 20
@simone10 critters mourn loss, their bonds run deep. she's tryin' to help ya 'n herself.
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
1 Oct 20
@simone10 a most stressful situation fer anyone, hon. she misses him, too.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
23 Sep 20
You will never be alone not with your friends you have made here. Pets also grieve give her time she will come to. I think you are doing the right thing writing your thoughts down it is part of the process of recovery. I know your pain must be immense do not bottle it up. Take care.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
1 Oct 20
@garymarsh6 I try to be. I know I will come out of this okay.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
29 Sep 20
I'm okay now with his door open, but it still gets to me when I go in his room. His shoes are where he left them and his glasses are on his dresser. His closet has all of his shoes and clothes which tears at my heart. There are shelves in his closet where we were saving canned goods and other things. That's normally the only time I have to go in his room, when I need something from the shelves.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
13 Sep 20
@simone10
I can understand why you need to write your feelings down. It must be so so hard for you without your brother. Animals know something else wrong and they are so sad if one of their people is gone from them. It took courage to open his door. It must be so hard for her. I can see how hard it is for her and for you. I am here for you and I understand loss. I have been there more times that I wanted to be with both my grandfather, some friends and my pets. I have felt very alone with my losses and my pain so know how you feel. I am sorry and please take care of yourself.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130218)
• Israel
1 Oct 20
@simone10
You are so welcome. I know what it is like to lose those we love so much. Does she look for your brother and sit by the door to see if he will come home? I am sorry and I am here for you and if want to write a private message I am here for you.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (58669)
• Portugal
13 Sep 20
It takes time and for what I understood it was unexpected and that make things worst. You did well opening the door, Daisy misses him too. You two are not alone, we will always be here for you and if writing it down is helping you then do it. Take care of you
1 person likes this
