My cat died

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I was less active here because of depression. My cat died on the 11th of September. Now I have two other cats. They were outdoor cats and I took them indoors in March. But I am not sure if they like to be inside. They sleep all day lately. I offered them plenty of toys. I let them outside, but they both disappeared. One of them was hidden for three days because other cats attacked him and another one was under cars. And I kept them inside after that experience. It was very sad for our family to lose our cat. He was 8 years old. We buried him in our yard. What is sad is the fact that he wanted to live, but his body shut down. His kidneys failed. He died at home, in my bedroom. We planned to take him to the vet the next day. He died when my brother came home. It was so hard for my brother to see him dying. It seems like my cat waited for my brother and after that, he died. My brother came home from another town. They had a special bond. He was so beautiful and he used the litterbox until his last moment. He lived without food and water for three days. On his last day he could not walk. I miss him so much and I don't think I will overcome this. Maybe I shouldn't have cats anymore.